Jobhunt spam

Thanks to me submitting an updated resume to various jobsites, my Inbox has been getting quite the spammy workout lately.  Not the first time these particular emails have shown up recently, probably not the last.  Be sure to soak in the slimy badness that is atrociously bad grammar and writing.  I did not edit any of this, except for removing the names.  Also keep in mind that this isn't even a position that I applied for or am remotely qualified for:

I'm [name redacted}. I am staff manager of our Staff Department. Our department noticed your resume & Our department believe  you qualified for the position of Financial manager.
For more info about available position, please visit this Url:

[Link redacted because it's a real company, and may be the victim of spam.  Or a really lame staff manager.]

This could be the nice complement to your main work.
If you're interested, write me now.
Best regards
[Name redacted again, just in case]

 Not content to spam me once, there was a follow-up email:

This is [same name redacted]. I'm working as manager of HR department.
I'm involved to searching new employees. I emailed you some the information
on the vacancy couple minutes ago.
I want to make sure that you have received it. Please confirm that you have my last email with information.
Regards
[Same name redacted yet again]

Even as I was typing up this post, I received another set of similarly worded job spam:

I am [name redacted}. I am Top manager of our Co. We reviewed your information on
Hot Jobs so We believe that u are suitable for the vacancy of Travel Coordinator of our Travel Company

-Main duty: processing payments|funds|mone.y from our US clients
-Schedule:  Part-time(2-5 hours per week)

Job conditions:

- sick leave;
-  Training & Seminars
- 3000$

this post will be the great addon to your current jo.b.

FYI: No investing from our employees. No start-up fees. Candidates should
not buy anything to work.

Please view links here for further info about our company:

 [Link to real company, although different from the one in the first set of emails, redacted]

If u're want to start, answer me immediately.
Regards

[Name (which is completely different than the one redacted in the first paragraph) redacted]

 And the obligatory follow-up:

I'm [apparently correct this time name redacted]. I'm working as HR manager of HR department.
I involved to searching new staff. I e-mailed you some info about the job offer couple minutes ago.
I just want to be sure that you did receive it. Please confirm that you
received my message with info.
Regards
[Name redacted.  If I never use the word "redacted" again, it will be too soon.]

Also worth noting: There is nothing on my resume or work history that makes me even remotely qualified for a position in finance or travel, much less management.

Because job hunting isn't difficult enough...