Flashback Friday: Culinary School

"Cooking is a craft, I like to think, and a good cook is a craftsman - not an artist. There's nothing wrong with that: the great cathedrals of Europe were built by craftsmen - though not designed by them. Practicing your craft in expert fashion is noble, honorable and satisfying." --Anthony Bourdain

Sausage fest

Okay, so this picture has been making the rounds on the interwebs lately, and this morning it popped up one too many times on my social media, so of course I have to weigh in on it.

So many things come to mind:

• First off, I'm pretty sure whoever designed this packaging is out of a job.
• The whole idea of fake meat is off-putting to begin with. When they take on the appearance of sad wrinkly peens, that doesn't help the cause.
• Gives new meaning to "Eat a dick." Sorry, but it was there. I had to say it.
• One of the many things I learned in culinary school was the importance of presentation. This is a massive presentation fail.
• Seriously, WHO DESIGNED THIS PACKAGING???

And now I'm hearing Beavis and Butthead in my head snickering over "package".  Lordy. I've gotta get my mind out of the gutter.

Guess who just kicked it up another notch? If you said MasterClass, congrats! You get a cookie.

The latest from MasterClass: Helen Mirren teaching acting, Wolfgang Puck and Alice Waters teaching cooking, Bob Woodward teaching investigative journalism, and Ron Howard teaching directing. Among others.

Also, MasterClass is now offering an All-Access Pass for unlimited classes. The cost is $180 per year - the cost of two of their classes. Given that equation, I'm already getting at least one class free.

I should get commissions for all these blog posts. Or at least I would, if I had readers. But damn, they're amazing. One can only imagine who they'll get in the future. The mind, it boggles. Also, go sign up!

Pie Camp and Bread Camp at The Gourmandise School

A few weeks ago I had the great fun and good fortune to attend a pie camp that was co-taught by Evan Kleinman, host of KCRW's Good Food. Evan taught two of the four days, while Gourmandise School owner Clemence Gossett handled the other two days. All four days were a blast and totally solved my ongoing problems with pie crusts, especially the edges. When I was in culinary school we blew through pies (and baking in general) pretty quickly, so it was fun and extremely helpful to immerse myself in it. I highly recommend it if they do it again.

During the four days, we made countless crusts as well as:

• Evan's Blue Sky Blueberry Pies
• Cherry Hand Pies
• Chocolate Hand Pies
• S'mores Pies
• Lemon Meringue Pies
• Strawberry Pies
• Buttermilk Custard Pies
• Peach Pies
• Quiches
• Tomato Pies
• Chicken Pot Pies

It was a lot of good food. A lot of it went to a friend who lives down the hall from me and The Brother's office. Everyone seemed to love all the goodies. I made sure at least taste everything, but I couldn't have it hanging around in the apartment. I had just started Weight Watchers a couple weeks earlier, because I'm a genius. Actually, I'd signed up for the class a few months ago, so the timing wasn't anything I could do anything about. Also, I still lost weight that week :)

One of the things I really, really like about this school is how they de-mystify things. I also took a bread class with them the week prior, and totally got over my intimidation of all things requiring rising and proofing. I've also taken a couple of recreational classes here in the past and they've never disappointed, in fact I've got a few more with them between now and the end of the year. If you can't get to the school and would like to avail yourself of Evan's pie expertise, there is a link on her site to a Craftsy online class she did (and even better, it's only $20).

Check it out (click on pics to see bigger versions - there's so many I didn't want this post to take over the blog):

Day 1 - Let's do this!

Look at that crust. First try, too.

Seriously, LOOK at that crimping.
Not raggedy at all.

Beautiful blueberries.

I don't know what happened with this shot, but
I thought it looked pretty darn bitchin.

Evan and her pie.

Day 2.

We made the graham crackers for the
graham cracker crusts for the lemon
and s'mores pies. I'll never buy them
at the store again. Really made a difference.

Lemon meringue.

S'mores pie, topped w/marshmallows (which
we also made).

Day 3 - it's going too fast!

Dough. You want it, we got it.

My peach pie, before hitting the oven.

Day 4 - it can't be over!!!

More Bundt-mania: Banana Bundt Bread!

I had a trio of bananas that had seen better days, so I did the only thing I could - I threw them away. KIDDING!!! When life gives you bananas that have seen better days, you make banana bread!

My go-to banana bread recipe is from culinary school. It's really simple and always turns out well.

Since I'm still stuck on my swirly Bundt pan (actual name: Heritage Bundt Pan) I decided to use that for the bread. So much more exciting than a boring old loaf. Seriously, look how pretty it turned out!

When making this as a loaf, the recipes calls for it to bake for about an hour. When I've made this in Bundt pans, it only needed to bake for 45 minutes. The loaf batter is a bit short for Bundt pans in terms of quantity, but it still bakes just fine. The resulting "cake" is just a bit shorter than your average Bundt. Also, regardless of whether you're making your banana bread as a loaf or Bundt (or any other variation) you want to let it cool completely before slicing. Slicing it while warm releases steam out of the bread and dries it out. The first time I made this in school I resisted the urge to cut into it until it cooled completely, and the result was that it stayed moist for a week.

Also, it's very yummy with tea for breakfast.

Loafing around version.

Alternative culinary school: Salted TV

This popped up as a sponsored post on Facebook today, and after poking around I decided to give it a try: Salted Video Cooking School.

It doesn't look like a traditional, linear program, but having covered some things in culinary school that I probably won't do again due to personal preference, I don't mind being able to pick and choose what to work on. They also have some less traditional courses, including cocktails, game days, date nights and holidays.

A real upside is the cost: $9.99 per month after a free 30-day trial. Obviously I'll need to buy my own ingredients, but that's still a really low financial gamble, especially since you can quit at any time.

Here are a few of their offerings:

More cooking school drama

The hits just keep coming.

This week is when I should have started my full-time baking and pastry program. I had decided to switch to what is referred to as the "Pro" program (once a week for five months) but when I woke up yesterday (the first day), I just wasn't feeling it. This isn't what I signed up for and I couldn't work up any enthusiasm for it. I started out looking at 30 hours per week, then down to 13-1/2, now down to four hours per week. And some of the Pro classes repeat stuff I already covered in culinary school.

So I made another decision. This isn't what I was sold. It isn't what I signed up for. I had no desire to get out of bed.

I've decided I'm not going to do this program. I'll look around for some other programs. Maybe I can find something that's really full-time that doesn't require two years out of my life, but if not I can just take recreational classes to cover baking and pastry stuff we didn't cover in culinary.

I'm so bummed about the way this turned out.

So bummed...

Today was the day I was supposed to start my full-time Baking & Pastry Program. Trying to find some other options, but for now I could not be more sad-facey.

So it turns out my concern (meltdown) was warranted

Remember this? Apparently I didn't misread the email. The "full-time" Baking & Pastry program really has been cut down to three days a week/13-1/2 hours per day, with the occasional Wednesday, which are the culinary field trips I've already been on. Just like it said in the email. Just like I originally read it. And at a lot higher cost than the three days per week summer program I was originally going to attend. And to think how embarrassed I was when I had my "meltdown". When the school's owner called to talk me down he was insistent that I had misunderstood the email and schedule. I didn't misunderstand. I was right the whole time.

I didn't know that when I went to the orientation recently, determined to be positive despite the loss of hours and the misunderstanding about the email. I thought it might be awkward seeing the owner, but knowing the kind of guy he is I also knew he'd take the high road. Turns out he wasn't there. The culinary and pastry chefs ran the combined orientation, which was a lot less formal than the dead serious meeting my culinary class had a year ago to kick off our journey. It was hard not to notice the difference. The new culinary class doesn't even get their own knife set. They'll be using school knives.

It was a bit of a shock to discover that the program had, in fact, been slashed as much as I'd originally thought. I stayed calm while there and since then have been thinking about what I want to do about it. Now that Christmas is over and the program is coming up, I have made my decision, and a lot of it breaks down into numbers and getting my money's worth.

The tuition for the full-time program (five days/30 hours per week) was $14,000. It's a lot of money, but having already been through a full-time program at this school, I know they spare no expense, so I felt like I would be getting my money's worth. The summer baking and pastry program was three days per week and tuition was $6,500. Now for three days per week, I'd be paying $9,000. I felt like a true full-time program was worth $14,000. But paying $9,000 after the hours were slashed by more than half...not so much.

The school also has a baking program that meets once a week for 20 weeks and the tuition is $2,500. So I decided that if full-time isn't an option, I'd rather pay a reasonable amount for a part time program and so have switched to the once a week program. It's a massive letdown, a massive disappointment. Like I told the owner during that embarrassing phone call, I was looking forward to immersing myself in the program. 13-1/2 hours per week, especially after being in a full-time program, isn't immersing.

I'm really disappointed. I waited six months for this. I was the first person who signed up. I don't know who these students were they supposedly got feedback from who indicated that part-time would be preferable to full-time in a full-time program. Plus it's only a six month program, not the two year commitment like other culinary schools. If you're so committed to something, can't you dedicate a mere six months to it? I'm just so bummed. I was so looking forward to this, so to have it taken away to appease other students (especially after the fiasco about the email) just really rankles.

Apparently I need to calm the hell down

Yesterday I got an email from my culinary school that contained some disturbing info about my upcoming "full-time" Baking and Pastry Program:

I am sure you are getting excited about getting started with your class in January!  We are looking forward to working with you.  As always here at New School we are constantly making changes and adjustments to our classes and programs in an effort to improve both content and delivery.  The main source of feedback is from students and we gather this information primarily from surveys.  Based on what our students have told us over the past year we have decided to make what we view as positive adjustments to the program that you are starting in January-this effects both culinary arts and baking and pastry.

New Schedule:
Classes will meet Tuesday, Thursdays and Fridays from 9:30am-2pm
Special Classes meet on Wednesdays (farmers market, preserving, butchering, wine)

Cost & Payment Schedule:
9000.00 and includes all materials and supplies.  There will be no additional charges.

We are going to invoice you 3 times over the course of the program. You have already registered so your payment will cover the 1^stpayment and you have a credit balance of 167.00.

Payment #2-Due January 6^th 2083.00
Payment #3-Due March 1^st 2250.00
Payment #4-Due May 1^st 2250.00

ServeSafe:
If you choose to participate in the Food Handler’s Program or are required by an employer to obtain a Food Handlers Card we recommend Western Food Safety as our preferred provider.  If we can meet the minimum we can schedule the class at the school.

Please contact me directly with any questions or concerns.  We will announce the December student orientation date in the next few weeks. 

It was a huge shock, for a number of reasons. First, it came completely out of the blue. I was never asked for feedback; I suspect it came more from prospective students who wanted to participate but couldn't commit to either the full-time schedule or to the cost. Or both. Not to be unsympathetic, but that's not my problem. Nobody asked me for feedback, they just sent the email, all cheery like it's not much of a change, or an actual improvement.

For some reason I had looked at the schedule a few days earlier and noticed they still had slots open. I figured there would be a last minute rush to fill. It's a big commitment and people are busy with the upcoming holidays. I wasn't worried about it filling up. Apparently the school did not share my optimism.

I had originally signed up for the summer Baking & Pastry session (which was three days per week), then delayed it until January because that's when it was being expanded to five days to match culinary, plus they were expanding the hours from five to six per day. I've spent the second half of this year waiting for it and planned to spend the next six months immersed in it. I made plans around this program. If they hadn't promised me full-time, I'd be a little over a month away from graduation.

I really freaked out when I calculated the difference in hours: From 30 to 13-1/2 per week. That's a huge cut. All I could think of was, how much of the originally planned program - which they apparently thought was important enough to expand to full-time - was I going to miss out on? And the difference in tuition hardly matches up to the reduction in hours. I could have taken the three days per week program over the summer for $6,500.

In addition, all the stuff in the Wednesday "special classes" are things we covered in culinary (ditto ServeSafe). I don't need to pay to do them again.

And culinary's getting cut too. I know how slammed we were doing five hours per day, five days a week. What are they going to be missing out on? If it's all so important, what are they going to cut?

I was stunned. I kept re-reading the email, hardly able to process it. Anyway, with all that shock, anger and frustration worked up, I did the one thing I probably shouldn't have done: I got on social media and bitched about it.

So of course someone at the school saw my Facebook meltdown and alerted the owner. I was still in a foul mood today when my phone rang. When I looked at the area code, I assumed it was my brother and picked up. It was the owner of the school. Nope, not awkward at all.

He was very nice and apologetic about it, admitting that maybe they should have called to alert people of the changes before sending the email. I explained that I was upset because I had been looking forward to it so much and really wanted to immerse myself in it. I didn't mention the "student feedback" issue because I thought it might sound defensive or combative and the call went really well. It turns out that I had misunderstood, that it's four days per week, not three. He also told me that instead of just pounding through the week, Wednesday's are going to be for special projects or something like that. And I certainly wouldn't mind another trip to the Cheese Store, if they're willing to let me tag along.

They're giving us shorter days and three-day weekends, and that actually is understandable, because full-time culinary was exhausting (albeit a good exhausting at least in my opinion). I can see where it could be a real grind if you have other things to deal with. I guess not everyone was looking forward to the program taking over their life.

So, of course I felt like an idiot, but I feel better about it. I can live with four days, although I don't like the shortened days (from 6 hours to 4-1/2) for baking and pastry, because you might be able to rush through cooking, but you can't really do that for baking. But their pastry chef is unbelievable and I'm really looking forward to studying with her, so four days is better than three. 18 hours per week is still a big drop from 30, but it's also a big improvement over 13-1/2, plus it explains why the tuition didn't drop more and is higher than summer.

I still can't help re-reading that email though. I would have worded that a lot differently. It makes me wonder if they got complaints from some of the other people who had already signed up for full-time.

Anyway, crisis averted, I guess.

Has it really been two weeks since the salmon cake?

Still so cool.

Back to the real world

It felt so weird to make my own lunch on a weekday. ‪#‎cookingschool‬ ‪#‎graduated‬

Aaaaaand...it's over

Friday I graduated from culinary school along with twelve of the neatest people I've ever met, thanks to the stellar staff at New School of Cooking in Culver City.

The past six months were a lot harder and more exhausting than I had expected. The school moves fast and things are covered quickly. The amount of knowledge acquired in this period of time is boggling to think about. A lot more practice is going to be needed to get me really up to speed, but I have a fantastic foundation to work with and a lot of ideas for new dishes to play around with.

I was surprised how fried I was after a day in the kitchen. As a result, a lot of things fell by the wayside. I have a post-school to-do list that's two pages long and tons of writing notes to wrangle into coherency.

In six months it's going to start all over again because I'm going back for the full-time Advance Baking and Pastry program. A whole month just on cakes. It's going to be awesome.

Seriously, it's like an addiction.

What we learned in culinary school this week - Week 23 (The End)

Monday's review was a bit different than the previous ones. Instead of having to make specific dishes, we were given trays with various types of produce, plus a protein to work with. We got different ingredients to work with and had to come up with our own dishes.

For my protein I got Italian Bronzino, which I love. It's small enough to work with easily and I was happy with my results.

Such a pretty fish.

Grilled Bronzino with Salsa Verde.

NOM NOM NOM.

Tuesday we covered Jam and Canning with Jessica Koslow of Sqirl. A few things I learned:

The lids of canning jars should not be reused due to a loss of suction that could allow mold into subsequent jars of jam. Jars last fifteen months in the pantry and a year in the fridge once opened. If you're using spices in your jam toast them first to get the essential oils. And use a satchel - herbs and dried spices can turn brown when cooked.

I'm not really a jam person, partly again because I don't need to can my produce, but it was an interesting procedure. It was a lot of work, especially if you're doing it on your own. Loved Jessica's big copper jam pot, which reminds me - for canning you don't really use the usual kitchen tools, so if you're getting into this there's going to be a certain investment needed up front.

We got Sqirl jars.

Wednesday Chef did something really different. She had brought in a bunch of packages of varying size, all wrapped in brown paper, none of which we could even begin to guess at what they were. Once we started opening them, we really got a surprise. Unlike the uniformly high quality ingredients we're used to using, these "ingredients" ran the gamut from junk food (a package of hot dogs, a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos) to just plain bizarre - a pack of gum, a package of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing mix and a small packet of red pepper flakes like you get with pizza deliveries...and that last one is the one I ended up with. Then we were turned loose with the same idea as Monday, except we had to incorporate our "mystery ingredients" into our three courses of dishes. Some of the results were absolutely amazing. Here's what I managed with my red pepper flakes:

My tray.

Greens with Red Pepper Goat Cheese and Vinaigrette.

Red Pepper and Pineapple Stuffed Pork Tenderloin
with Roasted Radishes.

Hot Chocolate Pudding.

Thursday we were rewarded with a mystery field trip. We didn't know where we were going, we were just told to dress comfortably and bring cash. This is where we ended up:

This place is in San Gabriel at the corner of Valley Boulevard and Del Mar. And at the risk of sounding culturally insensitive, it was freaking insane.

Actually, at first it was pretty cool. The cleavers in a box at a child's eye-level should have been a red flag. I just thought some of the signs were hilarious.

And who wouldn't want a good swordfish drink to wash down the sherded coconut?

Chef was leading us around and finally announced we were headed for the seafood section. I was stoked. It started well enough.

Then we got to the tanks. Which were crowded and filthy. And the turtles. Yes, turtles. Live ones, in a box.

We have a big pond at my apartment complex, with koi and turtles. The turtles at my apartment have no idea how good they have it. I wanted to grab these guys and run away with them and turn them loose at home with our resident turtles. Not sure how the management company would feel about that.

After shopping Chef took us to lunch at a nearby Vietnamese restaurant. We had fun, the food was great, and I had a Tiger Beer. Hadn't had one before and I'm not much of a beer person, but I liked it and would have it again.

Friday we graduated and that's for another post. We didn't really want to leave, and I've enjoyed having the weekly schedule/ structure after being off work for so long.

Even though we were assured that

it sure felt like the end of an amazing and wonderfully exhausting journey. But hey, we got another cake out of the deal, so win. And in the words of the master, "Bon Appetit!"