The curse of procrastination: A writer's lament

I am a world-class procrastinator. If there was an Olympics for procrastination, I would be showered in gold medals. I would be on the cover of Wheaties boxes. I am an expert on wasting time on frivolous crap like social media and online games like Scrabble and Solitaire when I should be writing.

I'm not saying any of this to brag. I'm not proud of it, in fact I hate it. I hate that's how my mind works.

 

I don't want to be a world-class procrastinator, but hey, we can't always have what we want.

To explain what brought on this rant:

A couple months ago I decided I wanted to submit a story for next year's Bouchercon anthology. Getting into a Bouchercon anthology has been on my short story bucket list for years. The 2025 conference is in New Orleans and not only am I eager to return to the French Quarter, I'd love to be in that particular collection. And since the deadline wasn't until November 1, I had plenty of time.

The theme for Bouchercon anthologies (besides crime) is usually tied to that year's location, and of course, the theme for Blood on the Bayou: Case Closed is NOLA based or inspired crime stories.

 

 

Because I am very much a Southern Californian and not a Southern Lousianian (is that the word?) and I've only been to NOLA once (for the 2016 Bouchercon) I decided I would approach the story from a tourist aspect. What tourist think they know about NOLA and its culture, as opposed to what little they actually know and/or understand. And eventually I settled on voodoo and a gift shop.

One of the things I read for research is New Orleans Voodoo: A Cultural History, and from page one it's a real eye-opener about the reality of New Orleans voodoo and how the practice is portrayed in film and television. It's so much different than I realized, so I decided to work that into the story. I also read the 2016 Bouchercon anthology Blood on the Bayou to see what kind of stories they published. It was a terrific read, highly recommended, and I really hope to be part of the next one.

But first, I had to write an actual story.

By mid-September I had a pretty good idea of the kind of story I wanted to write. It was inspired by my personal experiences involving a greedy, problematic family member in the aftermath of my Dad's death in 2011 (there was money involved and that almost always causes trouble) and familial betrayal in general. And that's what I've been mulling over for weeks now.

 

Part of the problem was that I couldn't figure out the actual story. An idea is one thing. For me that's the easy part. Taking the idea and turning it into a full-fledged story is where the work comes in. 

 

But as September and then October went by, I couldn't figure out what to do with my idea.

The deadline for this anthology finally arrived yesterday. At the beginning of the week the story was still nothing but bits and pieces and notes. I planned on dedicating the week to finishing the it because I really, really wanted to submit to this anthology, my lack of progress notwithstanding. And for the first few days of the week, nothing was happening.

Then, for some reason, I woke up Thursday morning and the story was there. I don't know how or why, it just was, in fact so much so that a large portion of it was written by noon. I finished and polished it on Friday and sent it in around 5:30pm. And I was thrilled - mission accomplished! I even finally figured out how to do em dashes!

Usually two days isn't enough to get a story polished to the point of submission, but this one was shorter than usual, plus the whole story takes place in one location and in real time so I didn't have to worry about moving the action around. And I'm genuinely happy with it. I really, really hope it gets selected but if it doesn't, I've got a great little story for future submissions.

That brings us back to procrastination. My usual MO is at first I take the approach that I have plenty of time before the deadline. Until I don't and that's when things get ugly, and frequently the result is that I don't finish the story in time to submit it, or it's so badly written that it doesn't get accepted, or I don't have a story at all. Again, I don't know why my mind works that way and it drives me nuts, but I guess there's something in my creative subconscious that just doesn't kick into gear until the deadline is looming.

 

Hopefully, at least in this case, the journey goes from the frustration of procrastination to laissez les bons temps rouler! And for good luck, here's some lovely pictures from when I was in New Orleans for Bouchercon in 2016. Amazing city.

Cafe du Monde. Beignets = Yummers.

Typical (and gorgeous) French Quarter architecture.

Mule-drawn carriages in the French Quarter.

Voodoo Blues.

Morning skies in NOLA from my hotel room.

Greetings from Bourbon Street!!!

From these people! I have no idea who they are, but apparently they're visiting New Orleans, found the EarthCam on Bourbon Street, and hilarity ensued.

 

Next year's Bouchercon (and yes, I will be attending) is back in The Big Easy and that's reignited my love for all things French Quarter. Bouchercon 2016 was in NOLA, the first time I'd ever been there, and I fell in love with the place. Registering for next year brought the feels flooding back and I'm in NOLA-mania mode again. And among other things, that meant reacquainting myself with the live cams on Bourbon Street. 

 

I've already seen multiple mule carriages, but I just caught these people waving at the cam and it was hilarious. The way they were checking their phones, I think they had someone at home watching them and sending them pictures of themselves. They seemed to get a real kick out of it and it was impossible not to get caught up in the fun. So whoever you people are, thanks for bringing a little sunshine into my day and enjoy the rest of your vacation!

 

Laissez les bons temps rouler, my friends!

 

Speaking of Bouchercon, I'm working on a story to submit for their anthology. Getting into a Bouchercon anthology has been on my bucket list for a while and it would be great to get into this one. Wish me luck.

Here we go again

Remember this shit show? Guess what's happening AGAIN next week? THAT'S RIGHT.

 

I really miss when my writer's conferences were WRITER'S CONFERENCES and not the family vacation discount plan.

Changes need to be made, and they will be made. You can't let people treat you and things that are important to you like shit and keep going back for more. 

 

Updated 8/27/24: I should be there right now.

 

 

And just like that, it's October

This whole year has flown by, but September especially seemed to go so fast. It was supposed to start so well with the long-awaited San Diego Bouchercon, but that didn't exactly pan out the way I'd hoped. Then there was the fire that seriously scared the living daylights out of me. I'm still so grateful to have my home to come home to. 

 

But finally, September did end on a higher note than the rest of the month: I got to see what my apartment will look like after the upcoming renovations and holy moly, is it going to be gorgeous! The renovations have been in the works for almost ten years, and previous plans were not well received by residents, so we've been dreading it for ages. But the plans have been revised to make a lot more sense, and after a Zoom call and an open house of an already renovated unit, most of our fears have been eased. A few residents still have concerns, but for me personally pretty much all my issues have been resolved. Not only will the move-out/move-in be less disruptive than anticipated, I'm actually looking forward to getting it done while I had previously dreaded it. 

 

This is a huge complex and my building isn't in the first wave of renovations, but they'll get to me eventually. I think that possibly a year from now my apartment could be updated. Improvements include all wood floors, snazzy new cabinets and countertops, A/C and my favorite part, a washer and dryer in the unit. We're also losing our apartment-sized appliances and getting big stainless steel gas stoves (we currently have electric) and a huge, double-sided stainless steel fridge. I'm finally going to have the kitchen of my dreams that I've wanted since culinary school. 

Most importantly, it eases the dread of having to figure out where I would move next. I figured I'd either be priced out at some point (costs of apartments in the L.A. area continue to soar) but during the period I lived away from the beach this complex went under some kind of rent control and part of the agreement for the renovations includes not raising the rents for current tenants when our apartments are upgraded, and subsequent annual increases are limited. I got my first increase since moving back here earlier this year and it was much less than I was expecting. God knows what they'll charge new tenants for the fancy new apartments, but that won't affect me. I can probably count on living here indefinitely if not forever, which despite the downward trajectory Los Angeles has been on is still comforting for me. It's just easier for me than having to wonder where I'll go. I'm still dragging a bit on the writing thing, but I'm a huge homebody so knowing my home will be mine pretty much as long as I want is making me feel more positive than I've felt in a while.

It was a really nice hotel, but DAAAAAAMMMMNNN

So while I'm wallowing in the total disaster that was Bouchercon for me, I wondered what it would cost to go back to the same hotel Wednesday through Sunday, and experience the stay I should have had (without, you know, the actual convention thingy), and I can tell you that won't be happening. I knew we got discounted rates through the convention, but I had no idea just how much they were discounted. The rate for Bouchercon was $199 per night. Behold their "normal" rate:

Damn, Marriott Marquis! You pricey. But apparently, also very generous as we got (and by we, I mean people who actually got to attend the damn thing) more than 50% off the going rate. Too bad I couldn't take advantage of that when I had the chance. Looks like I can stop entertaining any thoughts of returning.

The only good thing to come out of this whole disaster is that I have no appetite right now. Wonder how long that will last. If it works, I'll call it the Bouchercon Diet. Combine a couple years of anticipation and five days of massive disappointment and the fat just melts away!

I would rather have not tried the Bouchercon Diet.

My non-Bouchercon

The last five days couldn't have been worse.

 

A while back I announced the awesomeness that was being put on a panel at Bouchercon, the mother of all annual mystery/crime reader/writer conventions. It had the added bonus of being the first time I would get to attend Bouchercon in person since 2019. Four freaking years since I went to crime writers Disneyland. I was really looking forward to it.

 

Let's just say the whole Bouchercon thing didn't really happen for me this year.

A little background: Sophie (my darling but aging cat) is about to turn eighteen, and given some of her medical issues in the past year or so, I didn't even know if she was still going to be around by the time Bouchercon came. That she is still alive and kicking and doing well is a blessing I am hugely grateful for. In the past when I went to conferences, I either had neighbors who I felt comfortable being in my apartment look after her, or I took her to The Brother's house. Unfortunately, the neighbors that I could lean on in the past have moved on, as did I for a few years when I moved to Arcadia, then back to Marina del Rey.

 

The good news about this year's Bouchercon was that it was in San Diego, close enough that I could drive to it. I hate flying and saving on airfare was an added bonus. Plus, a hotel on the water! Heavenly! The Brother also decided to go because he likes San Diego and hadn't been in years. 

This created the problem of what to do about Sophie. I didn't want to board her because I was concerned it would be too stressful for her, especially given her age. This was non-negotiable. She's been doing so well lately that I didn't want to do anything to her that would negatively affect her.

At first I thought I'd come up with a brilliant solution - The Brother and I could do a nearby AirBnB that was pet friendly instead of the hotel. We would have amenities the hotel rooms wouldn't have and have our darling Sophie with us to boot. But that idea went over like a lead balloon, so I let it go.

 

I then considered staying in San Diego every other night and coming home on the other nights. I figured Sophie would be okay with me being gone one night at a time, but as the event got closer, I realized it wasn't just her being left overnight. It would be the entire day before and the entire day after as well. She would be left alone for a period of about 36 hours straight. Even if I left tons of catfood out, it just seemed stressful for her, and not particularly the action of a loving and responsible pet owner.

With about a week to go before the convention, I had to make a decision. I had been put on a panel Friday afternoon and didn't want to flake out on it. I'd finally made a Bouchercon panel, the least I could do was show up for it. I looked at some more AirBnB's near the event but I got caught up in wondering how Sophie would fare on the drive to San Diego. It would be the longest amount of time she'd been in the carrier in one shot. I had visions of her yowling during most of the drive, splitting headache material, plus she wouldn't have access to her catbox during the drive, so that could get messy, although in retrospect I wish I'd pulled the trigger on the AirBnB. Sophie tends to bounce back quickly after being in the carrier, even when I've moved and she's in a strange place. I really wish I'd done the AirBnB. I'd be kicking back in it right now blogging about all the awesome panels and writers instead of raging over the wreckage that was my Bouchercon non-experience this year. I wish even more I could have been in the hotel on the water.

I had to make a decision in time to cancel the hotel room without being charged for it, so I finally came up with a plan to just go back and forth from home to San Diego and be there most of the days. Not ideal, but better than nothing. Wednesday is mainly check in and they had some afternoon panels and I thought I'd go to those, but I also had to meet up with The Brother, who was staying at the hotel, and he ran late and I had to leave the first panel early. I finally got one panel in later that afternoon, then headed back to L.A.

The drive to the hotel had gone pretty easily - two hours. Getting home not quite as well - two and a half hours. It sucked, but Bouchercon's worth it and I wasn't neglecting my elderly cat.

I took Thursday off as planned, then headed back Friday morning. I left a little later than planned and traffic was heavier. By the time I got there I missed the first morning panels, but went to the next one. Then there was a lunch break and then we headed down to my panel. I was a little intimidated because I'd looked up the other authors and they had all been published way more than I had, in both anthologies and all the big magazines in our genre. One author alone had published over 100 times, and they were all winners and nominees of all the major awards in the genre, including the Edgar. And then there was me, who has been published five times in themed anthologies that are restricted to members and needless to say, has yet to be nominated for anything, and it was painfully obvious that one of these things was not like the others. I don't know how they assign panels, but my presence on this one was a big misfire. It's kind of weird, because I don't remember ever seeing a panel where one of the panelists was so clearly out of place. Just my bad luck. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

 

I will say this  - the other authors on the panel, as well as the moderator, were incredibly nice to me in spite of the fact that I was clearly out of place. After the panel, one of them gave me some advice about submitting to magazines. It went by pretty fast, thank God. I spent the next half hour in the signing room because I didn't want to look like I was flaking out after my disastrous performance. It also made me want to get out of the there to absorb the shock, so instead of afternoon panels we went over to Seaport Village, did a little shopping, and had a late lunch since I hadn't wanted to eat right before my panel and was starving. And by then it was late afternoon, so I left. That drive home - two hours and forty-five minutes, gave me plenty of time to wallow in the crapfest that was my first ever Bouchercon panel, as well as the fact that the conference was more than half over and I'd gotten to a grand total of two panels.

I had already mentioned to The Brother I didn't know if I'd make it back to San Diego on Saturday as planned, when I had a full day of panels I wanted to attend. When I woke up Saturday morning, I was tired, still embarrassed by my panel, and very upset and disappointed about the whole thing. I should have gone out there again, but the idea of spending yet another five hours on the road was daunting, and I stayed home. I didn't go today because it 's only a half day of programming, although there were some really good-looking panels scheduled for Sunday morning that I would have gone to if I had stayed in San Diego for the whole event, which is what I should have done.

So instead of blogging about all the great panels and writers I got to see as I usually would, I'm upset, disappointed, and feeling deprived of the Bouchercon experience I wanted and should have had. In addition, I'm also feeling like a bit of a fraud writer-wise. I'm now leery of asking to be put on panels and right now am just feeling rather jaded about the whole conference thing. I shouldn't, because I've been to tons of them and have never been disappointed like this. But this was a total waste. I spent more time in my fucking car over the past few days than I did at the event. I missed tons of panels I would normally have gone to. I got less out of it than if I hadn't gone at all, and that's going to leave a mark. I am not going to get over this anytime soon.

I don't know what I'm going to do next. I'm flustered about the writing thing and angry about the Bouchercon thing. The location for the next four Bouchercons are set and none of them anywhere near driving distance (Nashville, New Orleans, Calgary, and Washington DC). I feel like I should reconsider the whole writing thing and how I approach it. Who am I fooling?

What I do know for sure is that this shouldn't have been my Bouchercon experience. I've been going to these things for years and have never been this disappointed, frustrated, and angry. Bouchercon is like Disneyland for people like me, and I rightfully expected five straight, glorious days at Disneyland as has been my experience in the past, but what I got this week was a day and a half of crap and two and a half days of nothing. And that is a massive disappointment. 

But hey, I did get to listen to an awesome audiobook! (see previous post). At least someone's a legit author! (hint: not me)

Recent reading: "I'm Glad My Mom Died"

 I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy 

 

I couldn't have told you who Jennette McCurdy was before I heard about this book (me not being of the Nickelodeon generation) and if you'd tried to explain, I would have written her off as the kind of precocious, not particularly talented child actors that populate Nick and Disney shows. But having read this book, I now know that couldn't be further from the truth. She is nothing if not deeply introspective.

I can't vouch for her acting, but she was a popular and successful child actor, so she must have had something going for her. Early on she booked shows including CSI, Law & Order SVU, Medium, Strong Medicine, Judging Amy, Malcolm in the Middle, and the feature Hollywood Homicide, which starred Harrison Ford. But her career apparently went into the stratosphere when she was cast as Sam Puckett in Nickelodeon's iCarly, billed second to Miranda Cosgrove as the title character. 

Unfortunately for Jennette, she also had the proverbial stage mother from hell. Debra McCurdy had acting aspirations of her own when she was younger, but was prevented from pursuing them by her parents. She pushed the then six-year-old Jennette into acting because it was her dream, not her daughter's. 

 

There were other issues. Debra McCurdy had been diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer when Jennette, the only girl and youngest of four children, was only two years old. Debra went through chemo, radiation, mastectomy, and a bone marrow transplant before going into remission, and the agonizing possibility of a recurrence was a shadow that hung over the whole family for years. Add in constant money troubles and a loveless marriage between Debra and Mark McCurdy, and you have the basic dysfunctional family that wreaks havoc on a young child.

Jennette's relationship with her mother and her mother's health issues turned her into a people-pleaser even as a young child, and the person she wanted to please the most was Mommy. Regardless of how Jennette herself felt about her acting career and everything that went with it, she went along with everything she was subjected to in spite of the fact that she had zero enthusiasm for acting. When she booked jobs and worked her way up the ladder, it helped with the family's financial situation and made Mommy happy. One day, on the way home from an audition, Jennette blurted out that she didn't want to act anymore. Her mother's response was to burst into tears until Jennette backpedaled on the request. As Jennette observed, she wasn't the only one in the family who could cry on cue.

As Jennette matured (death for a child actor, and something she fought) her mother encouraged her to "calorie count" which led to anorexia, and as the years went on and Debra's health finally failed, would become bulemia and an unhealthy reliance on alcohol. Factor in some warped relationships (fueled by Mommy's disgust with men) and the result was a frustrated child actor with unhealthy habits that threatened to destroy her. Fortunately, today Jennette seems to have finally recovered from her demons while officially retiring from the acting career she never wanted.

This book is a great study of what child actors go through, and is also a fascinating study on how unhealthy (Mommy) and disinterested (Daddy) parents can affect a child. That Jennette, only in her twenties, was able to recognize her dysfunction and do something about it, represents a triumph over her damaging upbringing. As her grandfather once commented on, no child should carry the burden of supporting their family.

I'm not sure what she means by the book's title. Throughout her life Jennette lived to please her mother, and Debra's death shattered her. It was only later that she seemed to figure out how so much of what she was subjected to growing up was not only wrong, but seriously twisted. Whatever her reasons, the best part of this is that in spite of everything she's gone through, Jennette seems to have finally recognized what her mother did to her, and also seems to have dealt with and moved on from it. At least I hope so.

Note: I had the audiobook version of this, read by the author (always interesting to me) that I listened to when I was driving back and forth from L.A. to San Diego for this year's Bouchercon, a total disaster that the less said about, the better. We all have our disappointments, maybe this helped me sympathize with Jennette more than if I'd just read the book. That's a whole other story I don't even want to think about, so kudos to Jennette for facing the kind of professional and life disappointments that I'd rather not deal with right now. (Until I blogged about it later in the day.)

 

I, Panelist

Hey, I got on a panel at Bouchercon!!! That's one I can check off the writing career bucket list!

 

Click to get a readable-sized version.

Looking forward to a great, fun panel. The complete lineup can be found here.

 

Recent reading: "Heart Attack and Vine"

Heart Attack and Vine: A Crush Mystery 

(Crush Mysteries #2)

by Phoef Sutton

Disclaimer: Phoef Sutton is the editor of People Are Strange, an anthology that will be released later this year. My short story, "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" is part of the anthology and so Sutton will be editing it.

This is actually one of those books that's been on my bookshelf for a while, and since I'll be working with Sutton I decided this would be a good time to bust it out. And I'm glad I did. Between a clever mystery, local settings (even the section set in New Orleans was familiar from having been there for Bouchercon in 2016) and the fact that not only is it set in the entertainment industry but takes great glee in poking fun at Hollywood types, this one is a winner. I didn't realize until I was almost done that this is actually the second book featuring bouncer/bodyguard Caleb "Crush" Rush. Unfortunately it looks like there was only one more in the series after this one (2017's Colorado Boulevard). 

In addition to the roller-coaster thrill ride that this story is, there's also a pretty amazing twist at the end that for me serves as a master class on writing a mystery as well as being entertaining as hell. I will definitely check out the other two Crush novels; my only concern is that they will leave me wanting more. I'll have to ask Phoef Sutton about it when I get the chance.

Uh-oh

I'm not gonna be able to fit through the door. Willie Mae's is coming to L.A., specifically Venice. Right down the street from me, practically.

 

We didn't make it to Willie Mae's when we were in New Orleans in 2016 for Bouchercon, but the plan has always been to return and this place, known for having the best fried chicken on the planet, has been on my to-do list for some time in anticipation of my next trip to NOLA. 

 

It's going to be in Venice, on Lincoln just south of Rose, across from the Whole Foods. My only question is about parking. I have to drive right by that location going to and from my monthly hair appointment in Santa Monica and I'll bet there will be lines around the block, just like in NOLA.

Can't wait!

Recent reading: "Murder-a-Go-Go's"

Murder-a-Go-Go's: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Music of The Go-Go's 
(Edited by Holly West)

As the subtitle explains, this anthology features crime fiction inspired by the music of The Go-Go's, and by inspired, they mean very loosely inspired, at least a lot more loosely than I was expecting. Still, there's some good stories here, although if I'd read them as stand-alones I wouldn't have made the Go-Go's connection.

My favorites from this collection are "You Thought" by Susanna Calkins, "Fading Fast", a tale of revenge with an unexpected outcome (disclaimer: author Sarah M. Chen was my editor for "Christine Thirteen", also a tale of revenge - no wonder she liked it so much), "We Don't Get Along" by Diane Vallere, "Head Over Heels" by Craig Faustus Buck, and "Unforgiven" by Hilary Davidson.

It's not a quick read - there are twenty-five stories here, so it took me a while to get through them all. 

"Unforgiven" received a 2020 Anthony nomination. The anthology also features a forward by Go-Go Jane Wiedlin.

Recent reading: "Devil in a Blue Dress"

Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley

Audiobook read by Michael Boatman

I had bought the audiobook for Devil in a Blue Dress (beautifully and dramatically read by Boatman) earlier this year in anticipation of attending Bouchercon 2020 in Sacramento. The conference was supposed to take place in October, but has been canceled and replaced by a virtual event thanks to COVID-19. Mosley had been named the recipient of this year's Bouchercon lifetime achievement award.

A couple years ago when I was doing a lot of driving between my old place in Marina del Rey and here in Arcadia, I went on quite the audiobook kick. Since I'm not doing much long distance driving these days my audiobook consumption has slowed way down. When I originally bought this, I was considering driving to Sacramento and figured this would be a good soundtrack for the trip.

One of the highlights of a previous Bouchercon was seeing Mosley walking through the hallway between panels. For me it was like spotting a celebrity. I can now check him off my list of legendary must-read L.A. writers, which includes Chandler, Connelly, Ellroy and Wambaugh.

The story is set in post-World War II Los Angeles, where war vet Ezekiel "Easy" Rawlins finds himself in his friend Joppy's bar musing over the loss of his job. It's not the loss of the job itself that pains him - his biggest concern is paying the mortgage on his beloved home. In addition to taking a great deal of pride in being a homeowner, Easy genuinely loves the place. In a striking passage he talks about his home the way a man expresses his love for the woman who is the great love of his life.

One of the things that struck me early on about Devil in a Blue Dress is that it could serve as a master class on getting right into the action. Before we ever learn about Easy's financial predicament, an imposing white man clad in a white linen suit, white shirt, white socks, and white shoes topped by a Panama straw hat has entered the bar, an establishment that does not see a lot of white customers, and is promptly introduced to Easy by Joppy. Turns out the man, Dewitt Albright, is looking to hire someone for a job and Joppy, who vouches for the guy, has offered up Easy because Joppy knows he could use the money.

Although put forward in a convoluted way that leaves no doubt that there is a certain amount of danger inherent, the job itself seems relatively simple. Albright is looking for a young white woman with a penchant for hanging out at black clubs around the city, and he needs someone who knows these places and the people who inhabit them to track her down. The job pays well and despite some misgivings, Easy, visions of mortgages dancing in his head, decides to accept.

This sets into motion a series of events that include murder, corruption, pedophilia, and unrequited love. Easy eventually realizes that he's bitten off way more than he intended, but although he occasionally considers walking away he is always compelled to see it through, especially where his mesmerizing quarry Daphne Monet is concerned. There is also a truly golden moment where Easy, seemingly in over his head, begins to admit that he's getting to like the whole private investigator thing, a combination of the exhilaration of the chase, not being beholden to a set schedule or the whims of an employer, and at least partially feeling like he's his own boss. The money isn't bad either.

With help from "Mouse" Alexander, an old and dangerous friend from his native Houston, Easy navigates the complex set of circumstances that have led a number of men to pursue Daphne Monet for a number of reasons. Easy's eventual hard won survival and success is the perfect setup for him to continue work as a private eye.

Devil in a Blue Dress was made into a 1995 film starring Denzel Washington as Easy Rawlins, Jennifer Beals as Daphne, Tom Sizemore as Albright, and Don Cheadle as Mouse.

I drove back to my house thinking about money and how much I needed to have some. I loved going home. Maybe it was that I was raised on a sharecropper's farm, or that I never owned anything until I bought that house, but I loved my little home. There was an apple tree, and an avocado in the front yard, surrounded by thick St. Augustine grass. At the side of the house I had a pomegranate tree that bore more than thirty fruit every season, and a banana tree that never produced a thing. There were dahlias and wild roses in beds around the fence, and African violets that I kept in a big jar on the front porch. 

The house itself was small, just a living room, a bedroom, and a kitchen. The bathroom didn't even have a shower, and the backyard was no larger than a child's rubber pool, but that house meant more to me than any woman I ever knew. I loved her, and I was jealous of her, and if the bank sent the county marshal to take her from me I might have come at him with a rifle rather than to give her up. Working for Joppy's friend was the only way I saw to keep my house. 

Bummer of the Day: Bouchercon 2020 cancelled

So some not so good news today: Bouchercon 2020 in Sacramento has been cancelled, another casualty of the COVID-19 virus. I was surprised by the timing because it wasn't taking place until mid-October. I was hoping that things would have started getting back to normal in plenty of time for the conference.

The official announcement from their site:

Dear Bouchercon 2020 Community:

In the 50 years since the first Bouchercon, our community of mystery fans and authors have gathered together annually for several days to celebrate all that we love.

We’ve faced many changes and challenges, but never have we faced something like the global coronavirus pandemic, which is causing widespread disruption to every aspect of our lives.

We’re terribly sad to tell you this, but out of an abundance of caution and concern for the health and safety of our community, we are canceling Bouchercon 2020.

We have no way of knowing what the balance of this year holds for groups of people gathering, nor can we tell what the state of travel will be.

While we are canceling the actual Bouchercon convention, we are working to develop a different format for some of the Bouchercon events and activities such as the Anthony Awards, the short story anthology and the General Membership meeting. Nominations will continue to be open until June 5 for the Anthony Awards. As we work to develop other ways to present a traditional Bouchercon experience, we’ll keep in touch with you.

For those of you who had registered or provided sponsorships, we will be issuing full refunds. And for those with hotel reservations, we will be working with the hotels to cancel all reservations, although they, too, are closed now.

Although the members of the Local Organizing Committee who have worked on this for the last five years are saddened, we know this is the right step to take to keep all safe. And we know that there will be future Bouchercons where we can gather again to celebrate the world of mystery.

As with Left Coast Crime San Diego, I do feel bad for the organizers, who have been working on this event for years.

The next Bouchercon is August 26-29, 2021 in New Orleans. The Brother and I are looking forward to spending some quality time there. Hopefully the world will have returned to what passes for normal by then.

Dealing with this year's writing drought and moving forward

This past year was one big writer's block, so I've been going over ideas to move past it. One thing I've decided to try again is submitting as much as possible.

In 2018 my goal was at least two submissions per month. I submitted two each in January and February of that year, but then my Mom died unexpectedly in early March 2018, so March and April were total busts - nothing submitted in those months, which was understandable. There was a lot to deal with suddenly that I was completely unprepared for.

I also moved in July 2018, which was rough for a number of reasons, but I did pretty well with submissions May through September. Then the block seemed to settle in - there were no more submissions for the rest of the year. Still, I had fifteen submissions for the whole year, including five that placed in contests and one that was a winner. On the other hand I didn't get published, so I wasn't thrilled with that. But overall, for a year that was tough I felt okay with my progress.

Although I didn't put a number on submissions for 2019, the year started out with a bang. I had eight submissions in the first three months of the year, then... nothing. April through the rest of the year was pretty much a drought and not only was I not submitting, I wasn't writing much either. The good news was that I did have a story accepted for an anthology, but "Like Deja vu All Over Again", the story that's getting published in Crossing Borders in March 2020, is an old story I had kicking around that just happened to fit the theme for that anthology. I did submit to a short story competition in October that I don't think will place, but the entry fee was minimal and it made me feel like I at least did something, even if it was kind of pointless.

Late October into early November I attended both the Writer's Digest Novel Writing Conference in Pasadena and Bouchercon in Dallas and in addition to being exhausted by the time I got home, it did light a fire under me, both in terms of writing and finally tackling some personal stuff that's been lingering since Mom's death and the move away from the beach.

So the new plan is not to have a particular number of submissions per month, but to really examine the markets and opportunities and try to submit to as many as possible. There are a lot of anthologies coming up as well as other short story markets that I want to be more aggressive about submitting to, and I think that's my best shot at getting published again and seeing some progress in my writing career. I really don't want to have to wait another three years to be published again.

I've also got two other longer projects to work on that will be my A/B projects when I'm not working on short stories. One is a play and the other is one of my ideas for a novel. I've had multiple ideas for novels over the past few years and the difficulty has been focusing on just one while setting the others aside. The play is the A project because it will be quicker to complete, while the novel will be the B project with the goal of at least having a first draft by the end of the year.

Yep, that's the plan. We'll see how it rolls out, but for the first time in a long time I actually feel positive not only about writing, but about a lot of personal things as well. The Brother and I have been discussing this lately and he feels the same way - 2019 was rough for a number of reasons, but we're feeling really positive about 2020's potential.

I hope anyone who is reading this is feeling great about the new year and new decade. May the new 20's roar! And may I also take this opportunity to wish you a wonderful, creative, and productive 2020! Let's succeed together!

Recent reading: "The Heirs of Anthony Boucher"

The Heirs of Anthony Boucher by Marvin Lachman

Subtitled "A History of Mystery Fandom" this is much more than the retrospective on the annual mystery convention Bouchercon and its namesake, writer, editor and critic Anthony Boucher. It is a history of the fandom, beginning in 1967 with early fanzines and get-togethers long before the internet made online communities possible. In fact, the first Bouchercon doesn't appear until Chapter 6.

What follows is an incredibly comprehensive of what appears to be every fanzine, magazine, and convention that followed (including Malice Domestic, Left Coast Crime, New England Crime Bake, CrimeFest, and ThrillerFest) as witnessed by someone who was an extremely active participant in their history. Lachman wrote and participated in numerous fan publications and conventions and as such is able to bear witness to this rich history.

Originally published in 2005, winner of the 2006 Anthony Award in the Critical/Non-Fiction category, and updated in 2018, the book includes recaps of every Bouchercon up to last year's in St. Petersburg. I attended my fourth Bouchercon in Dallas recently and was blown away by how much of the fan emphasis I've missed. As someone who approached it not only as a fan but as an aspiring author, this was an aspect of the history I was ignorant of but now have a better appreciation of. Bouchercon 2020 (Sacramento) had a table at Dallas and a very nice lady there encouraged me to volunteer next year. I had declined to do so in the past because I was there for the panels and didn't want to miss out on them. But after that conversation I had pretty much decided it was time to give back and help out. After reading this book, it's definitely decided. This is a community I want to be a more active part of. I don't think I realized how fan driven the organization of these conventions are, despite the enormous undertaking in staging these events. I have a much better appreciation for it now.

One of the things I found funny was reading about Bouchercon 2013, which took place in Albany, NY. On Wednesday in Dallas we shared a lunch table with a couple of lovely ladies, one of whom was Molly Weston, editor of Sisters in Crime's newsletter, and the subject of Albany came up. She proceeded to tell us it was pretty much a disaster. Lachman confirms that in his recap. He quotes writer Lee Goldberg as describing it as "the worst location and the most poorly organized Bouchercon I've been to." But bad Bouchercons are few and far between. Dallas - both the convention and the hotel/location - were awesome.

Lachman also touched on how, as the internet came into being, attendees began blogging and documenting their Bouchercon experiences online. It made me realize I used to do much more comprehensive recaps of the panels I have attended at past events, and I think I need to start doing that again.

Bouchercon began in a bar. Writing about its origins in the 1991 Bouchercon program, Len and June Moffatt recalled that in a bar, at the close of a July 1969 science fiction convention they were reminiscing with Bruce Pelz about Anthony Boucher and his enthusiasm for both science fiction and mysteries. Pelz said, "I wonder if it is time to put on a mystery convention." There had never been one. 

Customer Service Fail: American Airlines edition

I don't even know where to start with this. Maybe I should try it as a timeline.

12/25/18: The Brother and I are working our way through our first Christmas without Mom. One of the topics of conversation that comes up is my 2019 writers conferences plan and I mention Bouchercon in Dallas in late October/early November. He decides he'd love to see Dallas so he registers for Bouchercon, books his hotel room, and I book our flight on American Airlines, which I've been using since I started going to conferences in 2012 and have previously been happy with.

To recap: December 2018, I book our flight for the following October. I have us flying out early morning Tuesday 10/29 and coming back Sunday morning. I figure this gives me about a day and a half to do a little site-seeing before the panels start on Thursday.

Now, let's jump to Monday, October 28, 2019.
8am: I get the email from American Airlines to check-in online, which I do. I print out our boarding passes.

Later that day, around 4pm, I put poor Sophie into the cat carrier and head to the vet's office. The neighbor that I'd hope could feed her while I was gone couldn't do it, so Sophie had to be boarded for the first time in her life. And since they're closed Sunday, I can't even pick her up when I get home. I have to wait until Monday, meaning another $32.

I get Sophie to the vet around 4:30 and get home around 5pm. That's when everything started going to shit.

It turned out that as I was turning Sophie over to her new babysitter, American Airlines sent me this:

The gist:

One of these things is not like the other.

So, ten months after I plan this trip, I'm suddenly arriving in the evening instead of early afternoon, I'm not getting there until dinnertime. I figure by the time we deplane, get our luggage, and get to the hotel (about 20 miles from the airport) it will be at least 7:30pm. So there goes the first afternoon and evening of our trip.

So many things pissed me off about this:

• The loss of one day of my trip. If they'd given us more notice, maybe we could have changed our departure day to Monday.
• Speaking of more notice, how about that last minute change? Would it have killed them to give us a decent amount of notice? The only other earlier options made available to us weren't non-stops and therefore would take longer to get there, making us late arriving anyway. 
• When I called, I was told they had cancelled a bunch of flights that day out of Burbank, but they couldn't tell me why or why we were getting such late notice.
• One of the problems seems to be Burbank itself - there were plenty of flights out of LAX. I got really spoiled living so close to that airport for so many years. But The Brother didn't want to drive to LAX on a weekday - it's a shitty drive. With more notice, we could have booked a hotel over there the night before and used the hotel shuttle to LAX.
• And speaking of late notice, if that email had arrived even a half hour earlier, I could have kept Sophie home for another night, saving her that stress and me another $32.
• And just to add insult to injury, our 1:08pm flight left about a half hour late.

And I was right - we arrived at the hotel right about 7:30pm and we were exhausted. The Brother had a headache that carried over into Wednesday, so we didn't get much accomplished that day.

I haven't traveled in over a year, so I don't know if American's been going downhill or what. As I mentioned, I've been happy with them in the past, but this clusterfuck was a game changer. It couldn't have been handled worse. We booked this almost a year ago. They had all that time to make changes that we could have adjusted to. To do it at the last possible minute - literally 15-1/2 hours before we're supposed to be taking off - is just shitty customer service and not a good harbinger for future experiences.

Add to the fact that I just hate flying and there was enough turbulence to make this a really miserable flight, I'm really reconsidering future travel. I can drive to Left Coast Crime next March in San Diego, and next year's Bouchercon in Sacramento is just a short Southwest flight away. The Brother and I will definitely make a trip out of it when Bouchercon hits New Orleans in 2021. That one may have to go to Delta, maybe give them a chance to earn some customer loyalty.

Luckily, Thursday, this showed up in my inbox. That was the good news:

First of all, why send this when our trip wasn't even close to over? I wasn't about to give them a reason to fuck up our return trip. And putting a deadline on it? Dicks. And just to put the perfect capper on it, I got busy after returning home and didn't make the deadline. Needless to say I got pissed off and took to Twitter:

This was their anemic reply:

Yeah, thanks.

So it turns out committing to NaNoWriMo wasn't my best move...

Just a couple weeks ago I decided to publicly commit to doing NaNoWriMo this year. And I made that decision knowing I would be traveling the first few days of November and would probably have to play catch-up when I got home, but since my writing progress this year has been slim to none, I hoped it would be the boot to the keister I needed to get going.

Turns out that was a mistake. The boot came in the form of Bouchercon, which is where I was when NaNo started. It was inspiring to be back in that community again and one of the writing decisions I made while there is to focus primarily on short stories for the next year. My goal is to get published a few more times so that I'll have books to promote and be eligible to be on panels at the writing conferences I attend. That is something I can do to boost my career. Doing NaNoWriMo - while I think it's a good thing for people who want to take a shot at writing the first draft of a novel - isn't really going to affect my writing career.

In addition, the project I was going to work on for NaNo got put on the back burner when another idea I had jotted down a few notes for a while back suddenly decided to appear very well formed in my brain last night. I don't know why it suddenly came to life, but it did and I'm certainly not going to fight it. I'm about 99% sure I'm going to write it as a pilot script, which would be great for competitions in 2020. It's going to be secondary to short stories, but since it's fresh in my mind I want to get going on it. And since we're talking about 60 pages, like short stories, it's something I can keep a handle on, unlike my attempts at novels. So despite having had every intention of doing NaNo this year, the reality is that I think the shorts and pilot are professionally my best bets.

I'm trying not to feel like I'm flaking out on yet another commitment, but it's hard not to feel like I did just that. But I really feel like this plan is best for me right now.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some writing to do.

When in Dallas, be sure to visit the beautiful Hyatt Regency Hotel. And enjoy the view!

Now that I'm home I have a boatload of heavy-duty apartment cleaning to get to, so I'm going to start off with a brief Dallas trip post. More to follow including visits to a couple of really great museums.

I really liked our hotel, which is in the Downtown Dallas area. Turns out Dallas, like L.A., is really spread out. Their airport alone is like visiting a small city. Navigating LAX is a piece of cake compared to DFW. I wouldn't be surprised if it has its own zip code.

I haven't had a chance to really sort my pictures from the trip, but here are a few to give you an idea of how much I loved this place, especially the view from my room.

My first attempt at getting a pic of the view ended up with a nice reverse shot of the room:

Tuesday and Wednesday were stormy. At one point the top of this building disappeared into the mist:

The building with the nightly light show turned out to be the Omni Hotel. Union Station is also right across the way. Local commuter rail, Amtrak and cargo trains all go through there:

Thursday morning groggy voice:

The Brother actually went out sightseeing in this weather. After that it went up into the 60's with beautiful blue skies for the rest of our trip:

It was in the 80's when we landed at Burbank, which is just wrong for November. Give me Dallas weather!

Our Bouchercon/Dallas home away from home: The Hyatt Regency Hotel. That's Reunion Tower right next door:

The Brother braved Reunion Tower's observation deck. Me and my rabid fear of heights did not. Also, how funny is the Hyatt's sign? "It's good not to be home." And it was.

The Hyatt is huge and the hallways can seem like a labyrinth. This piece of artwork kept us on the right track to and from our rooms. Thank you, big Texas ferris wheel picture!

The hotel also has this cool giant column fountain in the lobby and they had a really neat way of welcoming Bouchercon (this was up for the duration of the conference):

Our final night there, the Omni had this lit up and I have no idea what FF means. Is it a Texas thing?

By early the next morning, the light show had returned:

Sunday morning shortly before leaving. One last beautiful Dallas sunrise:

I know I've been babbling about Dallas non-stop the last few days, but we were just so impressed with the place and I couldn't stop staring out my windows. I wish we could have spent a few more days there. We're already talking about going back next year.

And oh yeah, guess what gas costs in Dallas? How about $2.40-ish per gallon. I paid almost $5 just days before the trip, and that was at the independent cheapie station. And Texas doesn't have state income tax. I couldn't help but think about how much farther my money would go there. Our driver on the way to the hotel told us he and his wife had just moved to the area three months earlier and love it. Keep pushing, Gavin Newsom. It's not like there aren't options.

Gonna miss this view big time. Big D time.

We're sadly departing Dallas and Bouchercon 2019 in just a few hours. This was the view from my hotel room for the past five nights. The picture doesn't do it justice.

In addition to Bouchercon lighting a much needed fire under my writing butt, our hotel and this city were beyond impressive. I fell madly in love with the view from my room and The Brother and I were beyond impressed with Dallas.

For reasons I don't need to get into here, I didn't want to post to the blog or social media while on vacation. I had my reasons for not wanting to advertise that I was out of town. But I had an amazing time and will blog about Bouchercon and Dallas in the upcoming days, with lots of pics of my view and our visits to a couple of mind-boggling local museums.

Oh, and there will be a scorching rant about American Airlines. Something about last minute changes to flight plans they had ten months to warn us about.

But to end on a high note, Dallas blew our minds and we're already talking about coming back next year. And a big thank you to Bouchercon's host hotel, the gorgeous (and ginormous) Hyatt Regency Dallas.

We all need a little editing sometimes...

H/T to Bouchercon 2020 on FB.