The curse of procrastination: A writer's lament

I am a world-class procrastinator. If there was an Olympics for procrastination, I would be showered in gold medals. I would be on the cover of Wheaties boxes. I am an expert on wasting time on frivolous crap like social media and online games like Scrabble and Solitaire when I should be writing.

I'm not saying any of this to brag. I'm not proud of it, in fact I hate it. I hate that's how my mind works.

 

I don't want to be a world-class procrastinator, but hey, we can't always have what we want.

To explain what brought on this rant:

A couple months ago I decided I wanted to submit a story for next year's Bouchercon anthology. Getting into a Bouchercon anthology has been on my short story bucket list for years. The 2025 conference is in New Orleans and not only am I eager to return to the French Quarter, I'd love to be in that particular collection. And since the deadline wasn't until November 1, I had plenty of time.

The theme for Bouchercon anthologies (besides crime) is usually tied to that year's location, and of course, the theme for Blood on the Bayou: Case Closed is NOLA based or inspired crime stories.

 

 

Because I am very much a Southern Californian and not a Southern Lousianian (is that the word?) and I've only been to NOLA once (for the 2016 Bouchercon) I decided I would approach the story from a tourist aspect. What tourist think they know about NOLA and its culture, as opposed to what little they actually know and/or understand. And eventually I settled on voodoo and a gift shop.

One of the things I read for research is New Orleans Voodoo: A Cultural History, and from page one it's a real eye-opener about the reality of New Orleans voodoo and how the practice is portrayed in film and television. It's so much different than I realized, so I decided to work that into the story. I also read the 2016 Bouchercon anthology Blood on the Bayou to see what kind of stories they published. It was a terrific read, highly recommended, and I really hope to be part of the next one.

But first, I had to write an actual story.

By mid-September I had a pretty good idea of the kind of story I wanted to write. It was inspired by my personal experiences involving a greedy, problematic family member in the aftermath of my Dad's death in 2011 (there was money involved and that almost always causes trouble) and familial betrayal in general. And that's what I've been mulling over for weeks now.

 

Part of the problem was that I couldn't figure out the actual story. An idea is one thing. For me that's the easy part. Taking the idea and turning it into a full-fledged story is where the work comes in. 

 

But as September and then October went by, I couldn't figure out what to do with my idea.

The deadline for this anthology finally arrived yesterday. At the beginning of the week the story was still nothing but bits and pieces and notes. I planned on dedicating the week to finishing the it because I really, really wanted to submit to this anthology, my lack of progress notwithstanding. And for the first few days of the week, nothing was happening.

Then, for some reason, I woke up Thursday morning and the story was there. I don't know how or why, it just was, in fact so much so that a large portion of it was written by noon. I finished and polished it on Friday and sent it in around 5:30pm. And I was thrilled - mission accomplished! I even finally figured out how to do em dashes!

Usually two days isn't enough to get a story polished to the point of submission, but this one was shorter than usual, plus the whole story takes place in one location and in real time so I didn't have to worry about moving the action around. And I'm genuinely happy with it. I really, really hope it gets selected but if it doesn't, I've got a great little story for future submissions.

That brings us back to procrastination. My usual MO is at first I take the approach that I have plenty of time before the deadline. Until I don't and that's when things get ugly, and frequently the result is that I don't finish the story in time to submit it, or it's so badly written that it doesn't get accepted, or I don't have a story at all. Again, I don't know why my mind works that way and it drives me nuts, but I guess there's something in my creative subconscious that just doesn't kick into gear until the deadline is looming.

 

Hopefully, at least in this case, the journey goes from the frustration of procrastination to laissez les bons temps rouler! And for good luck, here's some lovely pictures from when I was in New Orleans for Bouchercon in 2016. Amazing city.

Cafe du Monde. Beignets = Yummers.

Typical (and gorgeous) French Quarter architecture.

Mule-drawn carriages in the French Quarter.

Voodoo Blues.

Morning skies in NOLA from my hotel room.

Greetings from Bourbon Street!!!

From these people! I have no idea who they are, but apparently they're visiting New Orleans, found the EarthCam on Bourbon Street, and hilarity ensued.

 

Next year's Bouchercon (and yes, I will be attending) is back in The Big Easy and that's reignited my love for all things French Quarter. Bouchercon 2016 was in NOLA, the first time I'd ever been there, and I fell in love with the place. Registering for next year brought the feels flooding back and I'm in NOLA-mania mode again. And among other things, that meant reacquainting myself with the live cams on Bourbon Street. 

 

I've already seen multiple mule carriages, but I just caught these people waving at the cam and it was hilarious. The way they were checking their phones, I think they had someone at home watching them and sending them pictures of themselves. They seemed to get a real kick out of it and it was impossible not to get caught up in the fun. So whoever you people are, thanks for bringing a little sunshine into my day and enjoy the rest of your vacation!

 

Laissez les bons temps rouler, my friends!

 

Speaking of Bouchercon, I'm working on a story to submit for their anthology. Getting into a Bouchercon anthology has been on my bucket list for a while and it would be great to get into this one. Wish me luck.

Here we go again

Remember this shit show? Guess what's happening AGAIN next week? THAT'S RIGHT.

 

I really miss when my writer's conferences were WRITER'S CONFERENCES and not the family vacation discount plan.

Changes need to be made, and they will be made. You can't let people treat you and things that are important to you like shit and keep going back for more. 

 

Updated 8/27/24: I should be there right now.

 

 

It was a really nice hotel, but DAAAAAAMMMMNNN

So while I'm wallowing in the total disaster that was Bouchercon for me, I wondered what it would cost to go back to the same hotel Wednesday through Sunday, and experience the stay I should have had (without, you know, the actual convention thingy), and I can tell you that won't be happening. I knew we got discounted rates through the convention, but I had no idea just how much they were discounted. The rate for Bouchercon was $199 per night. Behold their "normal" rate:

Damn, Marriott Marquis! You pricey. But apparently, also very generous as we got (and by we, I mean people who actually got to attend the damn thing) more than 50% off the going rate. Too bad I couldn't take advantage of that when I had the chance. Looks like I can stop entertaining any thoughts of returning.

The only good thing to come out of this whole disaster is that I have no appetite right now. Wonder how long that will last. If it works, I'll call it the Bouchercon Diet. Combine a couple years of anticipation and five days of massive disappointment and the fat just melts away!

I would rather have not tried the Bouchercon Diet.

My non-Bouchercon

The last five days couldn't have been worse.

 

A while back I announced the awesomeness that was being put on a panel at Bouchercon, the mother of all annual mystery/crime reader/writer conventions. It had the added bonus of being the first time I would get to attend Bouchercon in person since 2019. Four freaking years since I went to crime writers Disneyland. I was really looking forward to it.

 

Let's just say the whole Bouchercon thing didn't really happen for me this year.

A little background: Sophie (my darling but aging cat) is about to turn eighteen, and given some of her medical issues in the past year or so, I didn't even know if she was still going to be around by the time Bouchercon came. That she is still alive and kicking and doing well is a blessing I am hugely grateful for. In the past when I went to conferences, I either had neighbors who I felt comfortable being in my apartment look after her, or I took her to The Brother's house. Unfortunately, the neighbors that I could lean on in the past have moved on, as did I for a few years when I moved to Arcadia, then back to Marina del Rey.

 

The good news about this year's Bouchercon was that it was in San Diego, close enough that I could drive to it. I hate flying and saving on airfare was an added bonus. Plus, a hotel on the water! Heavenly! The Brother also decided to go because he likes San Diego and hadn't been in years. 

This created the problem of what to do about Sophie. I didn't want to board her because I was concerned it would be too stressful for her, especially given her age. This was non-negotiable. She's been doing so well lately that I didn't want to do anything to her that would negatively affect her.

At first I thought I'd come up with a brilliant solution - The Brother and I could do a nearby AirBnB that was pet friendly instead of the hotel. We would have amenities the hotel rooms wouldn't have and have our darling Sophie with us to boot. But that idea went over like a lead balloon, so I let it go.

 

I then considered staying in San Diego every other night and coming home on the other nights. I figured Sophie would be okay with me being gone one night at a time, but as the event got closer, I realized it wasn't just her being left overnight. It would be the entire day before and the entire day after as well. She would be left alone for a period of about 36 hours straight. Even if I left tons of catfood out, it just seemed stressful for her, and not particularly the action of a loving and responsible pet owner.

With about a week to go before the convention, I had to make a decision. I had been put on a panel Friday afternoon and didn't want to flake out on it. I'd finally made a Bouchercon panel, the least I could do was show up for it. I looked at some more AirBnB's near the event but I got caught up in wondering how Sophie would fare on the drive to San Diego. It would be the longest amount of time she'd been in the carrier in one shot. I had visions of her yowling during most of the drive, splitting headache material, plus she wouldn't have access to her catbox during the drive, so that could get messy, although in retrospect I wish I'd pulled the trigger on the AirBnB. Sophie tends to bounce back quickly after being in the carrier, even when I've moved and she's in a strange place. I really wish I'd done the AirBnB. I'd be kicking back in it right now blogging about all the awesome panels and writers instead of raging over the wreckage that was my Bouchercon non-experience this year. I wish even more I could have been in the hotel on the water.

I had to make a decision in time to cancel the hotel room without being charged for it, so I finally came up with a plan to just go back and forth from home to San Diego and be there most of the days. Not ideal, but better than nothing. Wednesday is mainly check in and they had some afternoon panels and I thought I'd go to those, but I also had to meet up with The Brother, who was staying at the hotel, and he ran late and I had to leave the first panel early. I finally got one panel in later that afternoon, then headed back to L.A.

The drive to the hotel had gone pretty easily - two hours. Getting home not quite as well - two and a half hours. It sucked, but Bouchercon's worth it and I wasn't neglecting my elderly cat.

I took Thursday off as planned, then headed back Friday morning. I left a little later than planned and traffic was heavier. By the time I got there I missed the first morning panels, but went to the next one. Then there was a lunch break and then we headed down to my panel. I was a little intimidated because I'd looked up the other authors and they had all been published way more than I had, in both anthologies and all the big magazines in our genre. One author alone had published over 100 times, and they were all winners and nominees of all the major awards in the genre, including the Edgar. And then there was me, who has been published five times in themed anthologies that are restricted to members and needless to say, has yet to be nominated for anything, and it was painfully obvious that one of these things was not like the others. I don't know how they assign panels, but my presence on this one was a big misfire. It's kind of weird, because I don't remember ever seeing a panel where one of the panelists was so clearly out of place. Just my bad luck. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

 

I will say this  - the other authors on the panel, as well as the moderator, were incredibly nice to me in spite of the fact that I was clearly out of place. After the panel, one of them gave me some advice about submitting to magazines. It went by pretty fast, thank God. I spent the next half hour in the signing room because I didn't want to look like I was flaking out after my disastrous performance. It also made me want to get out of the there to absorb the shock, so instead of afternoon panels we went over to Seaport Village, did a little shopping, and had a late lunch since I hadn't wanted to eat right before my panel and was starving. And by then it was late afternoon, so I left. That drive home - two hours and forty-five minutes, gave me plenty of time to wallow in the crapfest that was my first ever Bouchercon panel, as well as the fact that the conference was more than half over and I'd gotten to a grand total of two panels.

I had already mentioned to The Brother I didn't know if I'd make it back to San Diego on Saturday as planned, when I had a full day of panels I wanted to attend. When I woke up Saturday morning, I was tired, still embarrassed by my panel, and very upset and disappointed about the whole thing. I should have gone out there again, but the idea of spending yet another five hours on the road was daunting, and I stayed home. I didn't go today because it 's only a half day of programming, although there were some really good-looking panels scheduled for Sunday morning that I would have gone to if I had stayed in San Diego for the whole event, which is what I should have done.

So instead of blogging about all the great panels and writers I got to see as I usually would, I'm upset, disappointed, and feeling deprived of the Bouchercon experience I wanted and should have had. In addition, I'm also feeling like a bit of a fraud writer-wise. I'm now leery of asking to be put on panels and right now am just feeling rather jaded about the whole conference thing. I shouldn't, because I've been to tons of them and have never been disappointed like this. But this was a total waste. I spent more time in my fucking car over the past few days than I did at the event. I missed tons of panels I would normally have gone to. I got less out of it than if I hadn't gone at all, and that's going to leave a mark. I am not going to get over this anytime soon.

I don't know what I'm going to do next. I'm flustered about the writing thing and angry about the Bouchercon thing. The location for the next four Bouchercons are set and none of them anywhere near driving distance (Nashville, New Orleans, Calgary, and Washington DC). I feel like I should reconsider the whole writing thing and how I approach it. Who am I fooling?

What I do know for sure is that this shouldn't have been my Bouchercon experience. I've been going to these things for years and have never been this disappointed, frustrated, and angry. Bouchercon is like Disneyland for people like me, and I rightfully expected five straight, glorious days at Disneyland as has been my experience in the past, but what I got this week was a day and a half of crap and two and a half days of nothing. And that is a massive disappointment. 

But hey, I did get to listen to an awesome audiobook! (see previous post). At least someone's a legit author! (hint: not me)

Recent reading: "I'm Glad My Mom Died"

 I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy 

 

I couldn't have told you who Jennette McCurdy was before I heard about this book (me not being of the Nickelodeon generation) and if you'd tried to explain, I would have written her off as the kind of precocious, not particularly talented child actors that populate Nick and Disney shows. But having read this book, I now know that couldn't be further from the truth. She is nothing if not deeply introspective.

I can't vouch for her acting, but she was a popular and successful child actor, so she must have had something going for her. Early on she booked shows including CSI, Law & Order SVU, Medium, Strong Medicine, Judging Amy, Malcolm in the Middle, and the feature Hollywood Homicide, which starred Harrison Ford. But her career apparently went into the stratosphere when she was cast as Sam Puckett in Nickelodeon's iCarly, billed second to Miranda Cosgrove as the title character. 

Unfortunately for Jennette, she also had the proverbial stage mother from hell. Debra McCurdy had acting aspirations of her own when she was younger, but was prevented from pursuing them by her parents. She pushed the then six-year-old Jennette into acting because it was her dream, not her daughter's. 

 

There were other issues. Debra McCurdy had been diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer when Jennette, the only girl and youngest of four children, was only two years old. Debra went through chemo, radiation, mastectomy, and a bone marrow transplant before going into remission, and the agonizing possibility of a recurrence was a shadow that hung over the whole family for years. Add in constant money troubles and a loveless marriage between Debra and Mark McCurdy, and you have the basic dysfunctional family that wreaks havoc on a young child.

Jennette's relationship with her mother and her mother's health issues turned her into a people-pleaser even as a young child, and the person she wanted to please the most was Mommy. Regardless of how Jennette herself felt about her acting career and everything that went with it, she went along with everything she was subjected to in spite of the fact that she had zero enthusiasm for acting. When she booked jobs and worked her way up the ladder, it helped with the family's financial situation and made Mommy happy. One day, on the way home from an audition, Jennette blurted out that she didn't want to act anymore. Her mother's response was to burst into tears until Jennette backpedaled on the request. As Jennette observed, she wasn't the only one in the family who could cry on cue.

As Jennette matured (death for a child actor, and something she fought) her mother encouraged her to "calorie count" which led to anorexia, and as the years went on and Debra's health finally failed, would become bulemia and an unhealthy reliance on alcohol. Factor in some warped relationships (fueled by Mommy's disgust with men) and the result was a frustrated child actor with unhealthy habits that threatened to destroy her. Fortunately, today Jennette seems to have finally recovered from her demons while officially retiring from the acting career she never wanted.

This book is a great study of what child actors go through, and is also a fascinating study on how unhealthy (Mommy) and disinterested (Daddy) parents can affect a child. That Jennette, only in her twenties, was able to recognize her dysfunction and do something about it, represents a triumph over her damaging upbringing. As her grandfather once commented on, no child should carry the burden of supporting their family.

I'm not sure what she means by the book's title. Throughout her life Jennette lived to please her mother, and Debra's death shattered her. It was only later that she seemed to figure out how so much of what she was subjected to growing up was not only wrong, but seriously twisted. Whatever her reasons, the best part of this is that in spite of everything she's gone through, Jennette seems to have finally recognized what her mother did to her, and also seems to have dealt with and moved on from it. At least I hope so.

Note: I had the audiobook version of this, read by the author (always interesting to me) that I listened to when I was driving back and forth from L.A. to San Diego for this year's Bouchercon, a total disaster that the less said about, the better. We all have our disappointments, maybe this helped me sympathize with Jennette more than if I'd just read the book. That's a whole other story I don't even want to think about, so kudos to Jennette for facing the kind of professional and life disappointments that I'd rather not deal with right now. (Until I blogged about it later in the day.)

 

I, Panelist

Hey, I got on a panel at Bouchercon!!! That's one I can check off the writing career bucket list!

 

Click to get a readable-sized version.

Looking forward to a great, fun panel. The complete lineup can be found here.

 

Recent reading: "Clark and Division"

 Clark and Division by Naomi Hirahara 

 

I scored this critically acclaimed novel in my book bag at California Crime Writers, and since Naomi Hirahara was attending, I was also able to get it signed! 

In Clark and Division, young Aki Ito relates the story of her family - her parents and her adored older sister Rose. The young women are Nisei, first generation American-born children of Japanese immigrants in pre-World War II Los Angeles. Their father is a grocery manager and despite sometimes experiencing discrimination, Aki and Rose have a pretty content life in California. That is until Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor propels the United States into World War II.

The Ito family spends time at Manzanar before being re-settled in Chicago. Rose precedes her family to the windy city by a few months, but when the rest of the Itos arrive they are greeted with horrific news: Rose is dead, having just been hit by a subway car in the Clark and Division Station. 

Having always existed contently in Rose's beautiful, sophisticated shadow, Aki is not only devastated by her sister's death but also compelled to investigate it. When the coroner, who has ruled Rose's death a suicide, informs Aki that her sister recently underwent a highly illegal abortion, she is even more determined to find out what happened and to prove that Rose wouldn't have taken her own life. What follows is a determined journey in which Aki blooms from the mousy, subservient sister into a smart, beautiful, and relentless woman fearlessly taking on the mystery of her sister's brief life in Chicago even when it puts her in dangerous situations, while also dealing with the brutally unfair hand that life has dealt her and her Japanese-American family and community. And she does it with admirable grace and strength.

 

The story sucks you in and I just devoured this book. One thing that really stood out to me was that in addition to Aki, the large number of supporting characters are so well fleshed out. Each is a unique individual with their own voice. While Aki is compelling, she is also surrounded by a colorful cast that rings true.

I didn't realize it until now, but Clark and Division is the first of a series featuring Aki. The second, Evergreen, will be released in August and I'm looking forward to reading more about the life and times of Aki Ito.

California Crime Writers Conference 2023

I don't know about the rest of you, but I had a wonderful weekend! Saturday and Sunday marked the in-person return of the California Crime Writers Conference, a bi-annual co-production of the Los Angeles chapter of Sisters in Crime and the Southern California chapter of Mystery Writers of America. 

Cool logo, eh? Turns out it was done by the same guy who did the cover art for Entertainment to Die For.

 

In addition to the great panels, I met a bunch of really nice people (for some reason this genre seems to attract fun and funny peeps), and how about this - even though I've never even finished a novel, I had two books in the bookstore:

 

It was really nice to finally be able to attend a conference in person again. This one has the benefit of being in Culver City, the next town over from where I live, so I didn't have to fly in or get a hotel room. Ten to fifteen minutes from my apartment to pulling up in front of the hotel. Easy-peasy.

 

Historic Mysteries panel.

 

I'm already looking forward to 2025!

RIP Anne Perry

Prolific, best-selling author Anne Perry has died. She was 84 years old and had been in ill health since having a heart attack in December.

Anne Perry at the 2015 California Crime Writers Conference

I discussed Perry's background here in a review of a biography of her.  Prior to taking the name Anne Perry, she was Juliet Hulme, who along with her friend Pauline Parker murdered Pauline's mother Honora Reiper in 1954 when the girls were 15-16 years old. The crime - along with the girls' obsessive friendship - was the subject of Peter Jackson's fantastic 1994 film Heavenly Creatures. Kate Winslet portrayed Juliet, while Melanie Lynskey, who is currently killing it in Yellowjackets, was Pauline. It was the motion picture debut for both actresses. Great film, I highly recommend it.

A few years back Perry left her home in Scotland and relocated to Los Angeles to better facilitate Hollywood productions of her works but I never heard of any resulting projects, and her imdb entry only lists The Cater Street Hangman, a 1998 TV movie based on her 1979 debut novel. On the other hand, she kept publishing novels right up to her death.

I first saw Perry in person at the L.A. Times Festival of Books some years ago, and also at the 2015 California Crime Writers Conference where she was a keynote speaker. At these appearances her past was never brought up and it didn't seem to hurt or hinder her career. I always had somewhat mixed feelings about Perry - she served her sentence and was productive and law-abiding thereafter, but back when I read The Cater Street Hangman it felt weird to be reading a murder story written by someone who'd actually done it. Based on what I've read about her, she put the murder behind her and got on with her life, describing it as a youthful mistake that she had paid the price for. She was also an amazingly prolific author, publishing over sixty works since her 1979 debut. 

RIP Anne Perry.

The official announcement, sort of

I've been holding out until an official announcement was made before revealing more details, but it took a while. I still haven't seen anything about it online (Facebook or their website), but the publication acceptance I received last month is from Writers' Police Academy. They included it in their latest email:

 

 

I thought they might be rushing it out in time for the upcoming Writers' Police Academy in June, but apparently it won't be released until later this year. I haven't received my contract or heard from my editor yet, but this updated info pretty much explains that. 

More info as it becomes available!

Update: And of course, as soon as I post this, they put in on the FB page!

A welcome sense of normalcy

Yes, I live in The People's Republic of Commiefornia, but even we are beginning to see a return to normalcy. Sort of. Finally.

The past week or so I have not worn a mask into grocery stores or at the car wash, and it hasn't been a problem. Some customers are still wearing masks, while others are not. Most employees seem to still be wearing them, probably required by their employers just to err on the side of caution. 

In the past week, I registered for two in-person 2023 writer's conferences and gotta say, it felt kind of weird (but a good weird) to be looking at hotel info, indicating what kind of meal I'd like at the banquet, offering to serve as a volunteer and requesting to be put on panels, all in person. It was delightfully normal. On the other hand, I should be at Left Coast Crime in Albuquerque as I type this. I was signed up since it was originally scheduled in 2021, but in December they sent us an email stating that vaccinations would be required to attend, so that ruled me out. I can understand that four months ago they weren't sure how things would be going at this point, but fingers crossed that next year this won't be an issue.

 

Also, today I submitted a story for the first time in over a year. I have been writing and publishing, but the writing has been ongoing works in progress and the published stories have been out there for a while. The one that was accepted in March was submitted over a year prior. I did "win" NaNoWriMo in November, but even that project is in first draft condition, not anywhere near ready to go out into the world, so getting something out, even a flash fiction story, still felt good.

I like the feeling of not being on hold anymore, even as our political and media overlords seem to be tentatively floating the idea of yet another deadly strain of COVID. But I think people are sick of it, sick of having their lives and livelihoods put on indefinite hold by the powers that be despite the fact that COVID did not turn out to be the black plague we were promised. People are not dropping dead in the streets, populations are not being wiped out. There are numerous deadly diseases and medical issues out there, many of which are contagious and most of which have been around for years, and we never shut down our entire society for any of them, at least not in my not lengthy lifetime. Not sure what ultimately was the point of shutting it all down for this one, but I look forward to books that will no doubt be published on the subject in coming years. Yeah, I'm a little skeptical.

Fortunately, one constant that can be relied on to make life better is Sophie being ridiculously cute. Enjoy!

GIANT. BUNNY. FEET.

Submitted without comment

We have cover art and a release date!

This is the cover of The Fish That Got Away, the anthology that includes my short story "The Legend of Bahama Bobby". This is the one that was supposed to come out in March but got delayed, and will now be available June 21. So far it's not listed on Amazon and the authors are waiting for instructions on how to order it from the publisher, so unfortunately no link for now.

I've avoided discussing this one because it wasn't the usual fun, easy-peasy editing experience that I've had with my other stories. First of all, I totally misread the editing schedule, which gave us an entire month, then seemed to indicate a second re-editing month. Turns out that there was only the first month. So that was a massive fuck-up on my part as I didn't finish editing by the deadline and I got reamed for it.

The other issue is that this is the first experience I've had where I had to delete a major aspect of the story because the editor didn't like it. I didn't realize that her comments about it weren't open for discussion, so I tried to explain why I had it in there and why I thought it was important to the story. The main aspect of the story was people keeping secrets, both their own and others. It turned out that by going to bat for this part of the story I just pissed her off some more after the deadline fiasco. I really got the idea that she just didn't like the story at all.

At the time it was only my third time getting accepted for publication. I had a great deal of confidence that the story as it had been submitted (and accepted) was strong, partly based on the fact that it was the co-winner in one short-story contest (Moondance International Film Festival) and also picked up an Honorable Mention in a genre short-story contest (Writers' Digest Annual Writing Contest). But at this point in my writing career I wasn't really in a position to dig in my heels to defend the story as written.

In addition, the genre is in some ways a very small community. You see a lot of the same names popping up not only in print, but also at conventions and in classes and newsletters, and I certainly didn't want to gain a reputation for being difficult. So I made the changes and apologized profusely, and tried to put it down as a learning experience, which wasn't easy as I'm pretty hyper-sensitive and it's hard for me to blow off a negative experience like that. But at some point you have to move on.

Luckily, about two weeks later, I had another story accepted and my experience with that editor could not have been easier or more pleasant, so that eased some of the sting. She was extremely complimentary about the story, the voice, and especially the ending, and had me re-write all of one sentence for clarity. It couldn't have been easier. That anthology, Avenging Angelenos, was the one that was supposed to be published in April, but it's also been delayed. Hopefully we'll get some news on that one soon.

Updated 6/8/21: You can order the book from Amazon here.

COVID-19 claims another victim

Last March when Left Coast Crime San Diego had to shut down on its first day, all eyes looked forward to next year's conference scheduled for April 2021 in Albuquerque. I know mine were.

Today came this news:

Hot off the press: Left Coast Crime 2021 Rescheduled to 2022

Due to the uncertainty of holding large gatherings in the spring of 2021, the Left Coast Crime 2021 convention has been rescheduled for April 7–10, 2022 – same place, same week in April, just a year later.

The Left Coast Crime national committee is making this decision now because we cannot count on having favorable government policies and the hotel's ability to provide necessary services by next spring, as well as the willingness of our Left Coast Crime community to travel with confidence. We’ve been in continual conversations with hotel personnel and sought assurances from the State of New Mexico, but no one can say when conventions can resume, even in 2021.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm sick of the new normal.

I do want to give props to the LCC organizers for the work they're doing. Hopefully by the time April 2022 rolls around we will all get to see their hard work finally reach fruition.

Recent reading: "Devil in a Blue Dress"

Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley

Audiobook read by Michael Boatman

I had bought the audiobook for Devil in a Blue Dress (beautifully and dramatically read by Boatman) earlier this year in anticipation of attending Bouchercon 2020 in Sacramento. The conference was supposed to take place in October, but has been canceled and replaced by a virtual event thanks to COVID-19. Mosley had been named the recipient of this year's Bouchercon lifetime achievement award.

A couple years ago when I was doing a lot of driving between my old place in Marina del Rey and here in Arcadia, I went on quite the audiobook kick. Since I'm not doing much long distance driving these days my audiobook consumption has slowed way down. When I originally bought this, I was considering driving to Sacramento and figured this would be a good soundtrack for the trip.

One of the highlights of a previous Bouchercon was seeing Mosley walking through the hallway between panels. For me it was like spotting a celebrity. I can now check him off my list of legendary must-read L.A. writers, which includes Chandler, Connelly, Ellroy and Wambaugh.

The story is set in post-World War II Los Angeles, where war vet Ezekiel "Easy" Rawlins finds himself in his friend Joppy's bar musing over the loss of his job. It's not the loss of the job itself that pains him - his biggest concern is paying the mortgage on his beloved home. In addition to taking a great deal of pride in being a homeowner, Easy genuinely loves the place. In a striking passage he talks about his home the way a man expresses his love for the woman who is the great love of his life.

One of the things that struck me early on about Devil in a Blue Dress is that it could serve as a master class on getting right into the action. Before we ever learn about Easy's financial predicament, an imposing white man clad in a white linen suit, white shirt, white socks, and white shoes topped by a Panama straw hat has entered the bar, an establishment that does not see a lot of white customers, and is promptly introduced to Easy by Joppy. Turns out the man, Dewitt Albright, is looking to hire someone for a job and Joppy, who vouches for the guy, has offered up Easy because Joppy knows he could use the money.

Although put forward in a convoluted way that leaves no doubt that there is a certain amount of danger inherent, the job itself seems relatively simple. Albright is looking for a young white woman with a penchant for hanging out at black clubs around the city, and he needs someone who knows these places and the people who inhabit them to track her down. The job pays well and despite some misgivings, Easy, visions of mortgages dancing in his head, decides to accept.

This sets into motion a series of events that include murder, corruption, pedophilia, and unrequited love. Easy eventually realizes that he's bitten off way more than he intended, but although he occasionally considers walking away he is always compelled to see it through, especially where his mesmerizing quarry Daphne Monet is concerned. There is also a truly golden moment where Easy, seemingly in over his head, begins to admit that he's getting to like the whole private investigator thing, a combination of the exhilaration of the chase, not being beholden to a set schedule or the whims of an employer, and at least partially feeling like he's his own boss. The money isn't bad either.

With help from "Mouse" Alexander, an old and dangerous friend from his native Houston, Easy navigates the complex set of circumstances that have led a number of men to pursue Daphne Monet for a number of reasons. Easy's eventual hard won survival and success is the perfect setup for him to continue work as a private eye.

Devil in a Blue Dress was made into a 1995 film starring Denzel Washington as Easy Rawlins, Jennifer Beals as Daphne, Tom Sizemore as Albright, and Don Cheadle as Mouse.

I drove back to my house thinking about money and how much I needed to have some. I loved going home. Maybe it was that I was raised on a sharecropper's farm, or that I never owned anything until I bought that house, but I loved my little home. There was an apple tree, and an avocado in the front yard, surrounded by thick St. Augustine grass. At the side of the house I had a pomegranate tree that bore more than thirty fruit every season, and a banana tree that never produced a thing. There were dahlias and wild roses in beds around the fence, and African violets that I kept in a big jar on the front porch. 

The house itself was small, just a living room, a bedroom, and a kitchen. The bathroom didn't even have a shower, and the backyard was no larger than a child's rubber pool, but that house meant more to me than any woman I ever knew. I loved her, and I was jealous of her, and if the bank sent the county marshal to take her from me I might have come at him with a rifle rather than to give her up. Working for Joppy's friend was the only way I saw to keep my house. 

The Do's and Don'ts of The Obligatory Apology

Exhibit 1: Lin-Manuel Miranda (Pulitzer, Tony, Grammy, Emmy, and Olivier Award-winning creator and star of Hamilton, the hit Broadway stage musical)

The former golden boy of the progressive left (courtesy of his haranguing then VP-elect Mike Pence from the stage after being tipped off he would be attending a performance, and issuing a Hamilton casting call requesting that no white actors apply) found himself being eaten by his own when the film version of Hamilton was released over the weekend on Disney+. Apparently a lot of keyboard warriors, many of whom probably paid through the nose to see the show on stage and worshipped Miranda in the past, have decided that he should have demonized his characters more, rather than celebrating them for launching the greatest country in the world.

Miranda didn't apologize so much as passively agreed with the criticism while making a plea for the creative process. But he did cave:

"All the criticisms are valid. The sheer tonnage of complexities & failings of these people I couldn't get. Or wrestled with but cut. I took 6 years and fit as much as I could in a 2.5 hour musical. Did my best. It's all fair game."

MY VERDICT: Dude, where's your balls? The correct response is, "Hey losers, I took 6 years of my life, busted my ass, and fit as much as I could in a 2.5 hour musical. Did my best. If you think you can do better, then do it. I'll wait. No? That's what I thought. Now fuck off, I'm busy overachieving."

But either way, I think Miranda can forget about completing his EGOT with this one. Too "problematic" for our enlightened era. I just think he should have manned up and called out the hypocrisy of calls to cancel a work of art that was lauded as progressive genius just within the last five years.


Exhibit 2: Peter Lenkov (CBS showrunner, rebooter of Hawaii Five-0, MacGyver, and Magnum P.I.)

Despite being a CBS golden boy with his hat-trick of reimagined classic TV shows, Lenkov was unceremoniously dumped by the network this week due to fostering "toxic work environments" on his shows. This news came out of nowhere - at least to the public - and not only cost Lenkov the reins of MacGyver and Magnum (H50 recently concluded its run) but also the final year of what was no doubt quite the lucrative producing deal, not to mention future opportunities to reboot every single show ever aired in the history of television.

Lenkov sounds like a real piece of work. He was reportedly dismissive of female and POC writers, gave preferential treatment to "his boys", and was just an all-around jerk. And he's been doing it for years - there's even stories from his tenure on CSI: NY, which he worked on way back in 2005-2010 - and despite the millions he's probably earned for the network over the years, CBS finally had to deal with him due to multiple complaints.

I don't know how you fuck this up. All he had to do was be a halfway decent guy. I was working in post-production when CBS was trying to reboot H50 and a big part of my job was tracking shows in development. The new Hawaii Five-0 was something that took a couple years if I remember correctly and it was something that CBS really wanted to make happen. In addition they were also trying to make Alex O'Loughlin happen, and Lenkov is the guy who came up with the pilot script that finally got the Five-0 reboot with O'Loughlin in the lead role off the ground and on the air. Plus, I remember being at a Screenwriting Expo around this time where producing partners Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman were discussing the reboot and raved about Lenkov's pilot script.

Then Lenkov managed to launch two more reboots that nobody outside of CBS was clamoring for (MacGyver in 2016 and Magnum P.I. in 2018) and somehow made them successful, or at least successful enough to survive on Friday nights, usually a graveyard for TV shows. The man was a machine and all that machine needed to do to continue to thrive at CBS was just behave himself. He didn't, and now the machine has been brought to a screeching halt.

One thing Lenkov is definitely NOT good at writing is a decent apology for being an asshole:

"Now is the time to listen and I am listening. It's difficult to hear that the working environment that I ran was not the working environment my colleagues deserved, and for that, I am deeply sorry. I accept responsibility for what I am hearing and am committed to doing the work that is required to do better and be better."

MY VERDICT: WRONG!!! This is barely even a damn apology; it's just a half-hearted steaming pile of buzzword salad. And no, I don't buy that he's "deeply sorry" about the shitty work environments he foisted on his "colleagues". What he's deeply sorry about is getting busted and shit-canned.

Successful showrunners make bank, so he probably has more than enough money to retire on now, which leads me to think he just doesn't give a crap with this half-assed statement. It's like he thought, you want a statement? Here's a statement. Now piss off while I bathe in my millions.

Update 7/21/20: Hoo, boy, just when I was noticing that this story seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth, Vanity Fair exposes more horrific details of Lenkov's reign of terror, including abuse of his MacGyver stars Lucas Till and Meredith Eaton. I figured he bullied the behind the scenes staff, but his stars? Also more stories of toxic sludge and a non-stop barrage of denials from Lenkov through his lawyer makes me think this story isn't, in fact, going to go away any time soon.


Exhibit 3: Halle Berry (Oscar, Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning actress)

Berry made the mistake of just mentioning that she was excited about tackling the role of a female to male transsexual in an upcoming film. Cuz you know, that's what actors do. They play roles. She made two other mistakes, according to The Outraged of Social Media: she considered playing a role that isn't exactly what she's like in real life, and she didn't nail each and every personal pronoun by magically and instantaneously undoing 50+ years of habit and conditioning. You all know the drill by now - the backlash was unleashed and Berry dropped out of consideration for the role and posted the obligatory apology:

"Over the weekend I had the opportunity to discuss my consideration of an upcoming role as a transgender man, and I'd like to apologize for those remarks. As a cisgender woman, I now understand that I should not have considered this role, and that the transgender community should undeniably have the opportunity to tell their own stories. I am grateful for the guidance and critical conversation over the past few days and will continue to listen, educate and learn from this mistake. I vow to be an ally in using my voice to promote better representation on-screen, both in front of and behind the camera."

MY VERDICT: Bravo to whoever actually wrote this! Probably her publicist. This statement hits every bullet point on the obligatory apology checklist. Let's hear it for an award-winning actress promising to never, ever, play a character that is the least bit different than who she is in real life.

On the other hand...woman, you are an actress. It's your job to play a variety of people/types and if you pulled this off you might have been looking at another trip to the Oscars. On one hand, I think she folded too quickly and easily. But on the other hand, if POC are no longer off-limits to the outrage mob I can see where she probably thought fuck it, I'm not playing this game, and decided to cut her losses and move on.

Look, I'm not the biggest Halle Berry fan in the world but if you get the chance to cast her in your movie, you do it. She comes fully equipped with a built-in fanbase/audience, she's a freaking Oscar winner, and a big name that will get your project both financing and publicity. And as for a non-trans telling your story, she brings attention and prestige to your story that a lesser-known trans actor may not be able to do. That's how Hollywood works. It will be interesting to see if that film can get financed without a well-known, award-winning actor or actress in the lead.

Also, am I the only person who noticed that this situation involved telling a woman of color to know her place? So racist.


Exhibit 4: Leonydus Johnson (Actor, neither French nor a candlestick, but in the running to be my new imaginary boyfriend)

In response to Berry's obligatory apology, this popped up on my Facebook feed yesterday:

MY VERDICT: Okay, you see this? This is how you deal with the outrage/cancel mob! This is how most of the real world reacts to these situations. Plus, gotta love a guy with a sense of humor. Well, I do anyway. Seriously, how much fun would it be to hang out with Leonydus?

(The French candlestick community...😂)


Up next: Since we're talking celebrity foibles, I predict the next cringe-worthy "apology" will be coming from the band formerly known as Lady Antebellum. These pinheads got themselves into the news recently by changing their name to "Lady A" after the rioting started. Unfortunately for them, no one seems to have done due diligence, because it turned out there's a female musical artist named Anita White who has been going by the name "Lady A" for 20+ years. Bonus points: Ms. White is African-American!

Apparently the parties tried to come to a co-existing agreement that didn't pan out, so get this: yesterday, it was announced that the recently christened Lady A (the band) is suing the longtime Lady A. Come for the hypocrisy and pandering, stay for the awkward obligatory apology! Seriously, whoever is making these decisions for this band needs to just stop. Just. Stop.