Hollyweird and how to survive it

The other day I posted about The God of the Woods and looking at the casting for the upcoming Netflix series. Because it takes place at a kid's summer camp, there are by necessity child actors involved and as always I wondered why people put their kids in show biz. It's a tough business for adults; I wonder how many kids have to be ruined by it for people to keep theirs out of it. And it's not just children, apparently.

 

Billy Bob Thornton was discussing life in LaLa Land and what got me was the last sentence in this conversation (bold mine):

 

Billy Bob Thornton says a Hollywood party conversation made him realize he was truly an outsider in Los Angeles. A woman found out he was from Arkansas and asked...

 

But she said it was fascinating to me, and she goes, "And you came out here from, what is it, Alabama or something like that?" And I said, "Arkansas." She goes, "Arkansas." And with a straight face, said to me, "What do you people do down there?" 

 

"Well..." (Joe Rogan continues laughing) ...and I said, thinking she would get the joke, I said, "Uh, we mostly lay around on the porch with our hound dog and swat flies." She goes, "Oh, interesting, interesting."

 

"...but that was one of the moments where I realized that I really was an outsider out there, you know? And people ask me about my longevity in this business, and I always say it's because I stay out of it.”

 

Fascinating indeed. The difference between working in Hollywood and surviving Hollywood is not living in it.

June Words of Wisdom

To be good, and to do good, is the whole duty of man comprised in a few words. (Abigail Adams) 

 

The life of the nation is secure only while the nation is honest, truthful, and virtuous. (Frederick Douglass)

 

Being hated by idiots is the price you pay for not being one of them. (Jean Cocteau) 

 

Nothing but this gaunt quiet. (H.G. Wells, The War of the Worlds)

 

I like being at home. My life is very simple. I read a lot of books. I watch a lot of movies, listen to a lot of music, walk the dog. Cook with my family. I am boring. (Cillian Murphy) (Note: Sounds like a good time to me!) 

 

 

Utterly classless

Late night host buffoon Jimmy Kimmel apparently thought it would be fun to mock someone whose house burned to the ground because he doesn't like the guy's politics. This is a perfect example of why late night shows are dying. 

 

Spencer Pratt ran for mayor of Los Angeles and was hugely embraced across demographics. The videos he ran on social media were off the charts amazing and should be studied by future candidates. Whether or not Pratt lost the vote legitimately is another conversation. For now I'll just say California never had these issues when we voted in person. Both California and Los Angeles politics are absolutely corrupt and like many here, I have little to no faith in the security of our elections these days. I do think it would have been interesting to have seen what Pratt could have accomplished in the role of mayor. A lot of people seem unaware of this, but he has a degree in political science from USC, so he's not as unqualified as many seem to have assumed or claimed.

 

Pratt has said he'd leave the city if he lost the election and I have to say I don't blame the guy. After all, it isn't like he has a house to come home to here now. It burned to the ground in the Palisades Fire, which is a whole other issue in terms of if that had to be as bad as it was, and who might bear responsibility for that.

 

But the point is that Jimmy Kimmel, his producers, and his writing staff thought this would be hilarious:

 

“I know things might be tight right now, especially with the out-of-state donation money running out,” Kimmel said during his monologue. “Moving is expensive, so to help you out we rented you a U-Haul. Our staff spent the whole day decorating for you, and everybody will notice you and wave goodbye as you leave.” 

 

The image shared by Kimmel shows Pratt appearing to cry, plastered across a U-Haul with the phrase, “Just defeated.” 

 

This is what passes for "comedy" on network TV these days. But what Kimmel and company forgot in their cruel glee is that Spencer doesn't need a U-Haul to move. Why? Oh, yeah...

 

 

Oh right, the thing that prompted Pratt to get involved in local politics in the first place - he lost his home in the Palisades Fire! It wasn't that long ago, Jimmy. Nobody local has forgotten about it. It hasn't faded into the past. Heck, there's a family who lost their home in the Palisades now living just a couple doors down from my apartment. They're all over the place. And Jimmy Kimmel thought it was acceptable to poke fun at these victims. I wonder if he'd volunteer to provide U-Haul's for the other 6,836 families that lost their homes. Also, twelve people died in this fire. I'm sure Jimmy will eventually get around to making them fodder for his "comedy".  Maybe his staff could mockingly decorate some hearses for them.

 

Honestly, if I ran ABC, I'd yank him off the air for this and not let him back on until he made a sincere, on-camera apology. The 2025 Palisades and Altadena fires and the lack of rebuilding support has traumatized not just the victims in those communities, but all of Los Angeles and it's not a wound that's going to heal anytime soon. Kimmel's mockery of a victim of this is just disgusting.

 

Full California Post article is here.

Even Hollywood is abandoning Hollywood

Hollywood is following the exodus out of Hollywood, although they aren't going as far as others: The Oscars are leaving the Dolby Theatre for the Peacock Theater.

 

What this means is that the Academy Awards will depart its Hollywood Boulevard location of over twenty years for the L.A. Live complex in Downtown L.A. This will put them near the Crypto.com Arena (formerly Staples Center).

 

The problem with this, in my opinion, is two-fold. All of Los Angeles has gone downhill in the past 5-10 years, overrun with drug-addled homeless, increasing crime, and rising cost of living that hugely outpaces the rest of the country (in fact, this pretty much applies to all if not most of California). So Hollywood the town loses one of the few things left that gives it shine and prestige, but the event moves to an area (DTLA) that has even worse problems than Hollywood. I haven't been to DTLA in years, not even to see a Kings game, partly because I no longer feel safe on Metro or the area, and only partly due to the team's lackluster play. So neither location is particularly desirable, but at least Hollywood Boulevard put the ceremony in the heart where it all started for Tinseltown.

 

I lived in Hollywood for fifteen years (1997-2012) and watched it bloom after years of deterioration with the addition of the Kodak Theatre, the return of the Oscars, and the installation of the Red Line subway. You couldn't pay me to live there now. And I remember when the Oscars moved to the Kodak/Dolby - after years at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in DTLA - bringing the ceremony to the industry's namesake town was presented as a big, meaningful deal. I think it's a real hit for Hollywood and Hollywood Boulevard as a destination (albeit one that needs to be cleaned up big time).

 

And it's not just Hollywood the town that's lost much of its luster - the film industry has been dying, especially in the past few years after the 2023 writers and actors strikes. Viewership for the Oscars has plummeted over the years. It's no longer appointment television. What was once a yearly event now barely registers with a huge portion of the public.

 

This isn't the only recent move made by the Academy. They recently announced the broadcast was leaving its long-time home on ABC to YouTube. While this may be a statement about the power of tech over broadcast television, I think it also says something about the drop in viewership. This may make it easier for more people to watch, giving them a chance to claim increased interest and restored importance. Both moves take effect with the 2029 ceremony.

 

Updated 4/3/26: The exodus continues to hollow out the home of the entertainment industry: J.J. Abrams is closing the Los Angeles location of Bad Robot, his production company. 

 

And just like that...

The storms that plagued Southern California's Christmas and New Year's have finally departed and today, the sun is back out and the skies are blue again.

 

You'd never know it was pouring rain less than 24 hours ago. Amazeballs.

 

Recent reading: "Hollywood Hustle"

Hollywood Hustle: A Thriller by Jon Lindstrom

 

Actor (General Hospital, Bosch, True Detective) turned novelist Jon Lindstrom was the guest at our December Sisters in Crime LA meeting and not only was he a fantastic speaker, his first novel, Hollywood Hustle, turned out to be a fantastic read.

 

Lindstrom's acting career began in the early 1980's and he's worked steadily ever since (he's also done some screenwriting and directing) so he knows how Hollywood really works and how tough and unforgiving it can be, and at the meeting he mentioned how many people he'd seen give up over the years. Winston Greene, the protagonist of Hollywood Hustle, is one of the survivors. Once considered the next Kevin Costner, Greene's career was negatively affected by alcoholism and the tragic death of his wife in a car accident, but later in life he's sober and his career has settled into low-budget but steady work. The current dark spot in his life is his poor relationship with his grown daughter Clare, who shares not only a drug and alcohol fueled slovenly life with her loser husband, but also a six-year-old daughter Amy, who Win adores.

 

Hollywood Hustle starts off with a bang. Winston awakes to find Amy at his bedside. She leads him outside to the man who brought her there, and that guy informs Win that they have kidnapped Clare and will let him know about the ransom. In spite of not becoming the next Kevin Costner, Win is still famous enough to be recognized by the public and also famous enough that the kidnapping crew believes him to be movie-star wealthy. He's not, and that fact drives a lot of the drama as he desperately attempts to round up sufficient funds to save Clare. 

 

Lindstrom writes short, snappy chapters that help move the chaotic action along as it ricochets around Los Angeles, from Winston's home in Wrightwood, to Sylmar, Venice and various freeways, all introduced by their proximity to Hollywood. Lindstrom also does an absolutely amazing job of getting right into the action, then unfolding the story, doling out the colorful cast of characters, their backgrounds, and how they all reached the point where we meet them. As a writer who has struggled with this, I found it to be a master class in launching directly into the action while unspooling the backstory bit by bit as needed. The last time I was this impressed with this ability was Devil in a Blue Dress. Like the Walter Mosley novel, I'll be revisiting this one for both the story and for writing advice.

 

Lindstrom's next book, Hollywood Payback, will be released in April. I'm looking forward to it.

 

From the book:

 

Teddy took in a long breath and let it out. "This is a crew, Win. They've done it before. Maybe that's all they do, and they're usin' this car to let you know how far they'll take it. On a regular ol' sunny day I'd recommend callin' in the cavalry, but this time...I don't know." Faint sounds from the TV wafted through the floorboards. "What puzzles me is why they didn't just take her," he said, cocking his head downstairs toward Amy.

 

Taxed to death

So nice of PetSmart to break out all the taxes we pay here in Los Angeles. Keep in mind, all I bought was cat food.

 

 

Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. California taxes are out of control. Being in L.A. just compounds it. One can only hope we get new, competent leadership at some point.

 

No Kings! Bad Kings!

Seriously, will this team ever be good again? Just look at this abysmal start:

Click on the image to biggify and see how awful the Kings have been so far this season. And it probably isn't going to get any better on Saturday because that game is against the Carolina Hurricanes, a team that actually knows how to hockey:

Also, seriously:

 

 

Although I do think we have some career politicians, at both national and more local levels, that definitely think it's their divine right to lord it over us little people. 

 

Given the way the Kings are playing, it's too bad Saturday really isn't a "no Kings" day. In fact, if the Canes play to their ability it will be like the Kings don't exist, so same thing really. 

 

As for me I will be spending Saturday avoiding Los Angeles freeways and any other places where mostly peaceful protests are likely to occur, as I've seen enough of these to know how ugly they can get. 

 

Have a great weekend! Unless you're a Kings fan, and in that case best of luck to you.

Update: Called it.

 

Tied it up in the third only to lose in OT. That's so Kings.

 

This is going to be a sad but true season.

 

We have...no Kings.

 

Updated 11/16/25: A month later I'm eating these words. The Kings are currently on a brutally scheduled but so far undefeated road trip. They are 7-2-1 in their last ten games and have won four in a row. The result? First place in the division:

 

 

Not only that, they have one of the best records in the NHL all of a sudden. Only four teams have more points: Colorado (29), Dallas (27), New Jersey (27), and Carolina (25). Crazyness. But of course the Kings can't have good news without bad: Drew Doughty was injured in the latest win (ankle) and is probably out as much as six weeks.

 

RIP Jed the Fish

I've said it before and I'll say it again - could somebody PLEASE invent a time machine so I can go back to the 1980's and stay there?

One of the best things about living in L.A. in the 80's (and there were many things) was The World Famous KROQ, the ROQ of the 80's. The music was great, of course, and KROQ - our alternative music station - blasted our soundtrack with a lineup of DJs and on-air personalities that was an embarrassment of riches: Rodney Bingenheimer, Richard Blade, The Poorman, Dusty Street (and her gloriously raspy voice), Raechel Donahue, Tami Heidi, Swedish Egil, Freddy Snakeskin, Sluggo, and Jed the Fish. The AM drivetime Kevin & Bean show alone hosted a boatload of talent over the years, among them: Adam "Mr. Birchum" Carolla, Jimmy "The Sports Guy" Kimmel, traffic reporter Lisa May, news reporter Doc on the Roq, entertainment reporter Ralph Garman, and Michael the Maintenance Man (an actual maintenance man in the building who became part of the show).

So it was crushing to see the news that Jed the Fish passed away this morning at the age of 69. He had recently been diagnosed with lung cancer. Jed was at KROQ from 1978 to 2012. And another part of my early adulthood is gone. RIP Jed.

The voices of 1980's Los Angeles.

 

Royal Pains: This time it's personal

Like many people I've watched the truly impressive train wreck that has been the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Show in the years since they split with the British royal family with a litany of complaints about the unfairness of their royal, privileged lives. I've previously blogged my feelings and observations here, here, and here.

 

Since then, they've had one fiasco after another. I don't need to get into all of them, but here's just a few examples: A failed podcast, a failed launch of a line of lifestyle products, a failed polo show, a much derided trailer for an upcoming cooking and lifestyle show that nobody asked for, a faked Princess Diana-style dangerous car chase, as well as numerous personal appearances that reeked of a desperate need for attention and fell flat every time.

Then, the other day, they showed up at the site of the recent and absolutely devastating Eaton Fire in Altadena. You know, to raise awareness in case there's anyone left who is unaware of the fiery hellscape that has been Los Angeles the past couple of weeks.

 

They spent all of 17 minutes making an appearance to show their concern (with cameras in tow, of course) before going out on a brief tour of burned out parts of Altadena that actual residents have not been allowed into yet (with cameras in tow, of course).

Residents haven't even been allowed back in yet (I know because I know one of them) yet these two idiots are allowed in to tramp all over the wreckage of countless lives so they can "assess" the need. You know who didn't need to personally "assess" the need with a camera crew in tow? These idiots. Thousands of Angelenos began donating food, water, clothing, and money before the fires were even out. We didn't need their royal lownesses to bring this need to our attention.

How do you think it made the victims feel that their tragedy was turned into a D-list celebrity photo op? I know I'd be livid if these self-important twits were walking through the wreckage of my former home, possibly damaging or destroying what little is left to salvage.

Also, I partially blame Victor Gordo, the mayor of Pasadena, who conducted the tour. Really, should he be wasting his time with this crap, giving celebs a tour of the carnage? You can't tell me he doesn't have more pressing issues at the moment. He should have told them to piss off and find a way to actually make themselves useful.

Then, Justine Bateman got on social media and rightfully ripped them as ambulance chasers and disaster tourists, and called their photo op repulsive. Check, check, and check. And then Meghan doubled down by showing up at a collection center the next day to hand out some more useless hugs and get more photo ops.

 

A number of celebrities have been shown helping out in a variety of ways, but they've actually been helping out, not "making an appearance" (with cameras in tow, of course).

Repulsive is right. As an Angeleno (who is fortunately not in a fire area) I find it ghoulish that they're exploiting this tragedy, something that will take us years to recover from. It's been mind-boggling how everything Harry and Meghan have touched since leaving the British Royal Family turns to shit, but just when you think they can't sink any lower, they prove me wrong. I wonder how much public mockery (and they're getting a lot of it, not just from Justine) it will take to get their useless selves out of the public eye, but apparently we haven't reached that rock-bottom yet. But I hope it's soon. It's one thing to make yourself look ridiculous trying to be a big-shot producer when you have no creativity or talent to offer, but it's another thing entirely to exploit victims of a tragedy the way they have with Altadena. 

Too bad we can't deport them back to England, but I don't think the Brits want them back.

RIP Fernando Valenzuela

There was a time when I was a huge Dodgers fan. I'd been raised a Dodgers fan by my father and grandmother. I haven't really cared about baseball for years (decades) and I don't give a rat's ass about the Dodgers making it into the World Series this week. But there was a time, many Dodgers lineups ago, when I bled Dodger blue and that included the Fernandomania era.

So God damn, this one hurts: Fernando Valenzuela dies at 63.

What I remember about Fernandomania was that as I was stuck commuting in traffic on L.A. freeways after yet another day at yet another crappy office job, the bright spot in my day was listening to the Dodgers games on the radio on the way home. The commute was made bearable when Vin Scully would announce, "It's time for Dodger baseball!" And I remember that Fernando would pitch himself into ridiculous holes and then proceed to pitch his way right out of them, while I sweated his flirting with disaster in my car in traffic. It's an old memory, but one I've never forgotten and will never forget.

Credit

Recently I'd seen something online about Valenzuela being ill, but couldn't find any news about it, so I figured he'd be okay. The announcement of his passing popped up on Facebook tonight and I wasn't expecting that at all. Just horrible news for Angelenos, Dodgers fans or not. Valenzuela was a huge part of life in L.A. in the 1980's and now another part of that awesome decade is gone.

His presence on the Dodgers along with his amazing accomplishments on the mound were huge for the Mexican-American community in Los Angeles, but as someone who is about as lily white as they come, I can assure you it wasn't just that community that loved him. He was universally loved by Los Angeles and will be universally mourned and missed. 

RIP #34 and condolences to your family and friends from a fan from a long time ago.

End of an era in L.A.

RIP, Larry H. Parker, TV advertiser/lawyer extraordinaire.

 

 

Parker was well known to Angelenos for his spots that had clients boasting about the millions he got for them and how he'll fight for you. I'm not sure how seriously we took them, but that doesn't change the fact that he and his in-yo-face commercials were part of our Angeleno world and if he and his firm really did have a 95% success rate, more power to them.

RIP sir.

Recent reading: "Love Me Fierce in Danger"

 

Love Me Fierce in Danger: The Life of James Ellroy by Steven Powell

 

This is an in-depth look at the never-a-dull-moment life of legendary Los Angeles-born author James Ellroy.

 

We get a lot of background on Ellroy's childhood, including the notorious unsolved murder of his mother, as well as his father's experience as a minor player in Hollywood. It was an upbringing that led to a dissolute young adulthood, but props to Ellroy for figuring out by his late twenties that he needed to get sober and straighten himself out. It was this discipline that would eventually make him a successful and prolific writer.

 

On the other hand, Ellroy's behavior and treatment of people has often been cruel and brutal, and discussion of these instances are frequently followed by statements from friends that in spite of this, Ellroy can be sweet, gentle, and generous. But the book makes clear is that in addition to being a brilliant writer, as a person Ellroy can be difficult to deal with. It seems that to his friends, he's worth the difficulty. This includes the many women who have been a part of his life (no joke, you'd need a spreadsheet to keep them all straight).

What Powell could have gotten more in-depth on was the novels themselves. My personal favorite, L.A. Confidential, gets a surprising short shrift considering that it's one of Ellroy's most well-known. What surprised me the most was learning that Ellroy's shocking criticism (contrary to the praise he heaped on it when it was released) of the film version of this novel didn't just start at last year's L.A. Times Festival of Books (the first time I'd heard of it) but shortly after director Curtis Hanson's 2016 death. At one film festival, hosted by Noir Czar Eddie Muller, he lashed out at Hanson, insulted the film, then headed home, leaving Muller to deal with the fallout from shocked festival attendees.

 

I was also surprised to learn how much of Ellroy's adult life was spent outside L.A., with time in Denver, Kansas City, Connecticut, and Carmel-by-the-Sea. I'd heard he's moved out of L.A. at times, but didn't realize how much of his life has been spent away from it.

Written with Ellroy's cooperation, this is about as a comprehensive and official bio of the author that we're likely to get. The book's title comes from the closing line of Ellroy's 1992 novel White Jazz, the fourth book in his L.A. Quartet.

From the book:

L.A. Confidential began principal photography in May 1996. Ellroy visited the set and witnessed the filming of a scene in which Bud White rescues a bound and gagged Inez Soto from her kidnappers. Ellroy developed a rapport with the main cast, with the exception of Kevin Spacey, describing him as "a venomous individual" and James Cromwell who he regarded as "aloof and imperious". Ellroy shared many of Milchan's concerns about the casting. He looked at the cast and saw people who did not look or sound like the characters he had created on the page. Helgeland recalls that during one rehearsal an actor disagreed with Hanson about how to play a scene and even brought an "expert" on set to prove his point. "Curtis disappeared for a moment and returned with a phone. He said to the actor 'Here's my expert' and passed him the phone". Ellroy chewed the actor out over the phone, who then sheepishly agreed to play the scene the way Hanson wanted.

Update: Love Me Fierce in Danger is an Edgar Award nominee in the Best Critical/Biographical category.

Updated 5/1/24: Love Me Fierce in Danger is now an Edgar Award winner! Congratulations to author Steven Powell.

End of an era

Just when you thought the Los Angeles Times couldn't become more of a shell of its former self we get this news: Legendary sportswriter Helene Elliott is leaving the Times after 34+ years on the beat.

Although she covered a number of sports, Elliott, a member of the Hockey Hall of Fame, is probably best known for her L.A. Kings coverage. She will be missed by L.A. sports fans.

I hope she made bank on the buyout.

Wayfarer's Chapel closed

This is devastating news for locals - historic Wayfarer's Chapel in Rancho Palos Verdes had to be closed suddenly due to land movement.

They're refunding weddings that were scheduled, so it doesn't sound like they think they'll be able to reopen any time soon. I feel bad for the brides and grooms, but loss of this beautiful place would be a huge blow to all of Los Angeles. I really hope they can save it.

Full story here.

Holy donkeyballs, Weatherman!!!

A couple days ago I checked out the forecast and saw that we had another storm coming through. It was due to start next Wednesday and run through Sunday. I just looked at it again and holy moly:

 

Nine straight days of rain? Keep in mind this is as far as the forecast shows - I have no idea if Thursday, February 8 is the last day of the storm or if it's going to go even beyond that.

I know Southern Californians are big babies when it comes to weather, especially compared to places that get things like hurricanes, tornadoes, snow, and freezing temperatures - we are spoiled in that respect - but this is going to be bonkers. 

 

Given the crazy crap going on in this world, I can't say I'd blame him.

Think I'll stock up when I go shopping tomorrow so I can hunker down for a while. Just in case.

September Words of Wisdom

Slow month...

 

There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness. --Edgar Allan Poe

 

Everybody has these grandiose dreams and these daydreams about success and fame and power, and I always say winning never visits you in your daydreams. It sees you in your nightmares. --Unknown

 

And finally...

Personally, I dig this shit...Noir is the most scrutinized offshoot of the hard-boiled school of fiction. It's the long drop off the short pier, and the wrong man and the wrong woman in perfect misalliance. It's the nightmare of flawed souls with big dreams, and the precise how and why of the all-time sure thing that goes bad. Noir is opportunity, it's fatality, social justice as a sanctified shuck, and sexual love as a one-way ticket to hell. --James Ellroy Note: I'm currently taking a film noir class, and check out this (which is where this quote came from): LA Film Noir: The Capital of Hollywood's Most Pessimistic Era.

The Babylon Bee looks back on the Storm of the Century

Hilarious as always.

Devastating Pictures of Hurricane Hilary's Aftermath:

Failure of Hurricane Hilary to live up to expectations? Russian interference, of course!

Time to restore Los Angeles to its previous third world shithole status:

This would be funny if it wasn't actually true:

Storm of the Century

So Hurricane Hilary, the first tropical storm to hit Los Angeles since 1939, has come and gone. In my part of town, the result was almost non-stop rain, heavy at times, for a period of about twenty-four hours. I didn't notice particularly high winds, although it was breezy at times but that's not unusual for us. I've seen higher winds just out shopping on a nice day. And by lunchtime Monday everything was bright and sunny again, the previous day's doom and gloom an old memory.

Unfortunately, not all areas were as lucky as mine. Palm Springs got hit hard. In fact, most of the really serious issues seem to be centered mostly in the desert area, although it turned out that cancelling their Sunday game in advance was a good move by the Dodgers, whose parking lot is an unorganized living hell after games on a good day. Overall, California got a lot of much-needed rain with no loss of life.

But because the most-hyped weather in years just wasn't enough, we also got an earthquake! I was laying on my bed reading and felt a soft jolt. For a second I thought Sophie had jumped onto the bed, but when I didn't see her I thought, "Was that an earthquake?" I got up and felt a couple seconds of swaying, which confirmed my suspicion. Other than that, that was it. It was very minor where I lived. The quake turned out to be a 5.1 centered in Ojai, in Ventura County. And (in addition to some social media "What's next, Sharknado? jokes) apparently it created a new word:

Leave it to The Babylon Bee to get into the act:

 

And now, back to our regularly scheduled August weather.

House-hunting, California style!

The Babylon Bee strikes again!

Be sure to watch all the way to the end to learn how your state can become a third-world shithole just like California!