It's been too long my love - Let's get back together, L.A. County Restaurant Closure List

Sure, I could use the excuse that I've been busy with real life crap like moving and dental appointments and rebuilding a partially deleted blog and buying a bed that doesn't have springs poking through the mattress and dealing with the kind of family drama that ensues when someone with a significant net worth doesn't get around to updating their final will and testament and living trust, leading to a total screwing over of someone he meant to take care of for life by someone who has been disinherited before and would have been disinherited again if Dad had any idea of the crap that would be pulled after his death...but I digress.  Is any of that any excuse to neglect the utter joy that is the L.A. County restaurant closures list?

Of course not. You know who would have agreed? My Dad, who loved my blogging. In fact, I think he was pretty much was my only reader. But that was before The Dark Times...

As usual, each entry is preceded by my snarky commentary on said entry:

Jonesing for vermin? These guys have you covered. Seriously, if you open a place with a stupid hipster wannabe name like this in a hip beach location, you deserve all the misery the L.A. County Department of Public Health can heap on you. I cannot wait to not patronize this place the next time I'm in Hermosa, assuming they're still in business, which would surprise me:
American Junkie, 58-68 Pier Avenue, Hermosa Beach CA 90254
Date closed: June 28, 2012
Date reopened: June 30, 2012
Reason for closure: Vermin harborage, vermin infestation

This address belongs to Sony Pictures Studios, so I'm thinking bad craft services maybe? I remember seeing "Base Camp" crew signs around Hollywood before I moved, but quick searches on Yahoo and imdb failed to reveal either a project or production company of this name. Whatever it is, they sure went overboard on the offenses in true Hollywood fashion:
Base Camp Prod L516111, 10202 W. Washington Blvd., Culver City CA 90232
Date closed: July 20, 2012
Reason for closure: Imminent health hazard to public health or safety, insanitary equipment and utensils, no Public Health License, no Public Health Permit, unsafe food temperature

Or not.
Boiling Point, 2020 S. Hacienda Blvd., Hacienda Heights CA 91745
Dated closed: June 7, 2012
Date reopened: June 8, 2012
Reason for closure: Unsafe food temperature

Insert obvious "fast food is crap" jokes here:
Carl's Jr., 10148 E. Rosecrans Avenue, Bellflower CA 90706
Date closed: May 24, 2012
Date reopened: May 24, 2012
Reason for closure: Sewage
Carl's Jr., 1360 W. 190th Street, Torrance CA 90501
Date closed: July 23, 2012
Date reopened:  July 23, 2012
Reason for closure: Sewage
Church's Fried Chicken, 8522 S. Western Avenue, Los Angeles CA 90047
Date closed: August 8, 2012
Date reopened: September 9, 2012 (? - maybe they were ordered not to reopen any sooner?)
Reason for closure: Sewage

This is a first. I have never, ever seen this as a "reason for closure" before. Even better, apparently they haven't gotten around to fixing it, since there was no reopening date given:
Chile & Limon, 7901 Eastern Avenue, Bell Gardens CA 90201
Date closed: June 15, 2012
Reason for closure: Inadequate lighting

Yikes, I drove by this place yesterday and actually thought it was cute, in a historic Route 66-ish kind of way. Good thing I packed a lunch:
Golden Spur Restaurant, 1223 E. Route 66, Glendora CA 91740
Date closed: August 9, 2012
Reason for closure: Vermin harborage

Nope.
Healthy Shape, 14512 Nordhoff Street, Panorama City CA 91402
Date closed: May 29, 2012
Reason for closure: No public health permit

Hat trick!!!
Hong Kong Express, 1400 W. 190th Street, Torrance CA 90501
Date closed: July 9, 2012
Date reopened: July 11, 2012
Reason for closure: Sewage
Hong Kong Express, 671 E. University Drive, Carson CA 90746
Date closed: May 31, 2012
Date reopened: June 2, 2012
Reason for closure: Vermin harborage, vermin infestation
Hong Kong Express, 12140 E. Carson Street, Hawaiian Gardens CA 90716
Date closed: July 5, 2012
Date reopened: July 8, 2012
Reason for closure: Vermin harborage, vermin infestation

No respect for your elders. For shame:
Las Palmas Senior Center, 1820 N. Las Palmas Avenue, Los Angeles CA 90028
Date closed: May 16, 2012
Date reopened: June 15, 2012
Reason for closure: Vermin harborage, vermin infestation

Just in case this dump making the glorious list of The 25 Douchiest Bars in Los Angeles wasn't enough to scare you off this literal shithole, bask in this:
Sharkeez, 52 Pier Avenue, Hermosa Beach CA 90254
Date closed: August 1, 2012
Date reopened: August 1, 2012
Reason for closure: Sewage

No idea what the heck is going on here, but I do know one thing: There's nothing superb about it:
Superb Lunch, 750 W. 7th Street #108, Los Angeles CA 90017
Date closed: July 18, 2012
Reason for closure: Improper ware washing method, unapproved equipment

Being part of a mighty chain doesn't save you from the wrath of the L.A. County Department of Public Health, nosiree. Current residents of the List of Shame include Baja Fresh (on 3rd in L.A.), Claim Jumper (Palmdale), Denny's (Torrance), Fatburger (on Sunset in Hollywood), Fuddruckers (on Santa Monica in L.A.), IHOP (Chatsworth), KFC (Pico Rivera), Mimi's Cafe (Lakewood), Popeye's Chicken (Valley Village), Quizno's (Van Nuys), Subway (Torrance) and a grievous double foul for Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles on Pico in L.A., closed June 26-29 and again July 11-21 for vermin harborage and infestation.

Yum.

The saddest spam

This appeared in my spam email this morning. Check out the logo.

Spammers are scum, but looking at this pathetic attempt to pass themselves off as McDonald's, I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.

DIY bad margarita recipe

1) Fill blender to top with a couple ice cubes and chunks of yellow watermelon (yes, they exist!) from today's Abundant Harvest Organics haul:

Potatoes, seedless Thompson grapes (first grapes of the season!), basil, lettuce, yellow watermelon (before I took the big knife to it), some sort of cucumber I think, peppers, tomatoes and peaches. Not nearly as big a haul as we've been having lately, but almost better because it's a lot more manageable. Missing the corn already, but happy to see grapes!

2) Pour in the rest of the tequila I had in the cupboard.
3) Squirt in indiscriminate amount of light organic agave nectar, without measuring, just like they do on Food Network.
4) Blend until liquified and sporting a fluffy, foamy top layer (which was much prettier to look at than drink, BTW).
5) Pour into margarita glass. Add in a squeeze of lime.
6) Take amateurish, poorly composed snaps that look nothing like the ones on real foodie blogs :(

7) Enjoy (?)
8) Note to self: Use this internet thingy to look up a real margarita recipe next time instead of just pulling it out of your ass.

Verdict: Meh. The lime didn't really go with the watermelon (which has a very bland taste in liquid form) so in the spirit of experimentation I poured a second glass without the lime. Pretty much the same thing: bland watermelon taste only without the jarring appearance of lime.

As far as the the yellow watermelon - which I never knew existed until today - is concerned, it is awesome. Softer and easier to cut up than a regular watermelon, but tastes the same and is as nice and juicy with fewer seeds. Just eat it like a regular watermelon and find another excuse for raiding the liquor cabinet.

"Safety first!" says Lord Stanley

Per LA Kings Insider, Willie Mitchell took the Stanley Cup fishing as part of his day with the Cup. Hammond also pointed out that the Cup is required to wear a life jacket when on the water. And sure enough...

Colorado Avalanche head coach Bob Hartley has his day with the Cup, back in the day.

As odd as it looks, it does make sense. Can't have the greatest trophy in sports drowning.

Pic: USAToday.com via Yahoo Images

Screening: Jaws at the Alex Theatre

The Alex Film Society presented Jaws on the big screen at the Alex Theatre in Glendale last night.  The screening was preceded by an interview with the film's screenwriter, Carl Gottlieb.

Jaws (Universal, 1975)

Starring Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw, Lorraine Gary and Murray Hamilton

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Screenplay by Peter Benchley and Carl Gottlieb (based on Benchley's best-selling novel)

Winner of the Academy Award for Best Original Score, Best Film Editing and Best Sound
Also nominated for Best Picture

Just as its crucial summer tourist season is about to begin, the small beach community of Amity Island becomes the happy hunting ground for a terrifying and ruthless predator: a great white shark with a voracious appetite.

Recently appointed Police Chief Martin Brody (Scheider) wants to shut down the island's dangerous beaches after a pair of shark attacks in Amity's waters, but with the lucrative Fourth of July weekend approaching he's thwarted by Mayor Larry Vaughn (Hamilton) and locals more concerned with business than safety.  But when a third attack plays out in front of Amity's holiday crowd, summer is over and the hunt for the great white shark is on.  Along with young shark expert Matt Hooper (Dreyfuss) and Quint (Shaw), a local shark hunter, Brody heads out to sea to find and battle the beast.

Some Jaws factoids:

• Jaws was a phenomenon upon its release, becoming the highest grossing film of all time until Star Wars took the title. It was the first film to hit the $100 million dollar mark and was also the first summer blockbuster, changing the way studios market and release event films.  It also spawned shark fever - beach-goers were afraid to go in the water, there were suddenly numerous shark sightings and interest in shark hunting soared. 
• The opening sequence of the attack on the first victim took three days to shoot. For years rumors abounded that the actress, Susan Backlinie, suffered broken ribs in the process, but in interviews she has denied being injured during shooting.
• Peter Benchley, author of the bestselling novel the film was based on, was the grandson of famed humorist/writer/ actor Robert Benchley of the Algonquin Round Table.  Benchley did his best to adapt Jaws for the screen but was unable to come up with a satisfactory script, so Spielberg brought in actor/writer Carl Gottlieb.  In addition to his writing duties Gottlieb also played the editor of Amity's local paper.  Apparently there were no hard feelings on Benchley's part - he makes a cameo appearance in the film as a news reporter on the beach.  Benchley did reportedly loathe the movie's spectacular (and technically impossible) destruction of the shark, which wasn't in his book.
• In the years following the hysteria triggered by Jaws, Benchley became a vocal defender of sharks.  He stated that he wouldn't have written Jaws if he'd known at the time the negative impact it would have on the species.
• The classic line, "You're gonna need a bigger boat" was improvised on set by Scheider.  When he said it, the Alex audience burst into applause. 
• Quint's boat is named Orca, another name for the killer whale, whose natural prey includes sharks.
• Lorraine Gary, who played Brody's wife Ellen, was (and still is) married to Sid Sheinberg, who was then head of Universal Pictures.  This prompted talk of nepotism, although Spielberg reportedly cast her based on a performance she gave on the television series Kojak.
• Alternate casting considerations by Spielberg and Universal included: Robert Duvall and Charlton Heston for Chief Brody, Lee Marvin and Sterling Hayden for Quint, Victoria Principal for Ellen Brody, Jeff Bridges, Jon Voight, Jan-Michael Vincent and Timothy Bottoms for Hooper.  Benchley's choices had been Robert Redford, Paul Newman and Steve McQueen.
• The famous mechanical shark was dubbed "Bruce" in honor of Spielberg's lawyer.  Bruce (actually three Bruces created for different camera angles) frequently malfunctioned, leading to the necessity of shooting around him, which inadvertently helped the film's suspense because he couldn't be shown.  Before the screening, Gottlieb stated that he and Spielberg decided to use The Thing as a template for amping up tension by not showing the monster until well into the story, although they didn't really have a choice.
• Due to problems with Bruce, weather, and the difficulty of shooting on the sea, Jaws went significantly over budget and schedule.  The brutal ordeal has been documented in a "Making of" extra on the 30th Anniversary DVD, an episode of E! True Hollywood Story and in Gottlieb's book The Jaws Log.

Sources/Links:
Jaws on imdb - Jaws on Wikipedia - Jaws on Facebook - The Shark is Still Working on imdb - The Shark is Still Working on Facebook - JawsMovie.com - Jawsfest - Jawfest on Facebook - Jawsfest on Twitter - Jaws by Peter Benchley - The Jaws Log by Carl Gottlieb - Jaws: Memories From Martha's Vineyard by Matt Taylor - Just When You Thought It Was Safe: A Jaws Companion by Patrick Jankiewicz

Pic post: Marina del Rey

Beautiful morning in the Marina. This is now my wallpaper and Twitter background.

Abundant Harvest haul - 7/10/12 edition

I didn't even get close to using up all the fruits and veggies from last week and it's Tuesday already.  This concerned me, but opening the second box was like Christmas all over again:

That's a watermelon, lettuce, green beans, more peaches, a whole lot of pluots, the most fragrant bunch of rosemary I've ever had the pleasure of inhaling (seriously, my kitchen currently smells like I live on a farm), 1 summer squash, 3 zucchini, a variety of tomatoes and 6 ears of corn.

I feel like I'm getting a handle on creating meals around this bounty rather than trying to incorporate them into my existing diet.  I don't think I'll end up wasting as many of this week's box.

I have to admit that when I got online yesterday and saw green beans on the list, I felt bad because there was no way I was going to use those.  They were just going to go to waste.  One of the reasons I was eager to try Abundant Harvest was to expand my diet, but some of my most traumatic childhood memories involve sitting at the dinner table long after everyone had finished, expected to gag down the canned green beans sitting uneaten and undesirable on my plate.  And the few I got down really did make me gag.  I was part of the "starving children in China" generation so leaving anything on the plate, however disliked, simply wasn't acceptable.

But as I looked at these fresh, organic green beans, I couldn't help but feel like I should at least give them a shot.  I snapped one in half and boy, did it *snap* - loudly.  I took a bite and instead of being transported back to those awful days of being left at the table with my putrid, hated veggies...I wasn't.  In fact, I was pleasantly surprised.  The green bean didn't really have much of a taste of its own; they're kind of like broccoli to me in that I only like them raw, possibly dipped in ranch, but there was no sign of the soggy crap that cursed my childhood dinners.  I ate several of them and I'm happy to report that they won't go to waste.  Which is a good thing, because starving children in China and all that.

6th Industry Insider Screenwriting Contest announced

The latest incarnation of the Industry Insider Screenwriting Contest has arrived:

A New England Matriarch with a week left to live pledges her fortune to whomever in her small town fulfills her dying wish.

The intriguing logline comes from Oscar nominated screenwriter Susannah Grant (Erin Brockovich, Pocahontas, Party of Five), who will also serve as judge.

As always, the only restriction is the logline itself.  It can be any genre you choose.  Deadline for submitting the first fifteen pages of your script is September 15.

Abundant Harvest haul - 7/3/12

(Most of) the haul from my first Abundant Harvest box: 1 eggplant, 1 bunch chives, 1 head red leaf lettuce, 1 cucumber, 4 zucchini, 3 small tomatoes, 5 peaches, 5 nectarines, 3 beets, 1 cantaloupe & a dozen small red potatoes (plus a grassfed top sirloin added on to the order). It was like Christmas when I opened the box.

I already started on the lettuce, cuke, potatoes & chives for dinner. Yum!

Moar pirates?

The pirate house is having some work done. Will they be adding to the pirate crew?

Verily, I say, this is genius!

The Hokey Pokey by William Shakespeare

Giving Abundant Harvest Organics a shot

In my ongoing (and so far not terribly successful) attempt to eat healthier, I finally signed up for Abundant Harvest's weekly box of organic produce.  I'm also going too add on a grassfed steak this week and see if I notice any difference between it and the ones I get at the supermarket.  My first box will be next Tuesday.

I love the concept and really hope it will get me eating a significant amount of fruits and veggies, especially ones I'm not familiar with and wouldn't buy on my own.  I just hope the small pickup window (1/2 hour) doesn't become a problem.

Image snicked from Abundant Harvest's website for purposes of pimping out their program.