Saturday, October 8, 2011

Dear anthem singers: Please warm up on your own time

For some reason almost every single person who performs the national anthem(s) at sporting events seems to feel the need to incorporate what I refer to as "vocal gymnastics" rather than just singing the damn song.  It's like it's their big moment in the sun and they're not only going to make the most of it, they're going to make it last as long as possible.

The anthem singer at today's Kings/Sabres game in Berlin was no exception. 

Being in Europe, the game hit my current location (Hawaii until Thursday) at 8am, which of course with me being not a morning person means that I was a bit late to the party.  But only about 13 minutes late, so I figured I could get caught up easily during commercial breaks.

I got almost all the way caught up during the anthems.  The blonde, Germanic, heavily faked-tanned female singer looked like a refugee from a Real Housewives show who seemed determined to extend her 15 minutes indefinitely while "singing" the American and German anthems.  Even the players looked amused, like they were wondering if she'd finish before the playoffs.  I certainly felt that way, and it wasn't just me:

For you non-hockey types who don't get the joke, it refers to Kings D-man Drew Doughty, who just signed a big, fat 8-year contract.  Like, less than two weeks ago.

Of course, once the game is over the only thing that will matter is scoreboard.  No one will remember or care about the anthem when all is said and done.  So remember that, singers, do your voice exercises on your own time.  When the game is on just go out there, do your thing and get out, so that the real show can get started.  You may think more is more, but for the rest of us, what all we require from you can be summed up at the :19 mark of this vid:

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