Team Quick

Jonathan Quick is Saturday's #1 star per NHL.com (and L.A. Kings fans):

 
He may not be a Vezina candidate (yet) but he's the number one goalie in our hearts!

Quick set two franchise records in last night's 3-1 do-or-die victory over the Sharks in San Jose by facing 52 shots and stopping 51 of them.  The Sharks still lead the series 3 games to 2, but this being hockey, it's not over until it's over and I think the Kings may have the advantage here in that everyone knows the Sharks have a penchant for choking in the playoffs no matter how good their regular season might have been, while no one ever seems to know which Kings team is going to show up.  Will it be the Saturday night defensive demolition crew?  Or will it be the immature, frustrating jerks who couldn't hold a 4-0 lead in front of a rabid, hugely supportive home crowd?  No one knows and the Sharks can only hope it's the latter.

And speaking of hugely supportive crowds, let's not and instead discuss the shameful Sharks "fans".  Yet again there were huge chunks of unoccupied sections behind Quick as last night's game wound down, despite the fact that the Sharks were only down two goals, were certainly getting a lot of shots on Quick and of course, it's not only a playoff game, but a game in which the Sharks could have eliminated the Kings and secured a spot in the second round.  With "support" like that, no wonder the Kings have beaten them two out of three at HP Pavilion.  Make fun of the Kings poor performance at home all you want, but while L.A. fans may leave Staples Center unhappy, they don't leave until the final buzzer and they're back the next night as enthusiastic, supportive and hopeful as ever.  I just don't get the HP Pavilion crowd.

Game 6 is Monday night at Staples Center. GO KINGS!!!

UPDATE: Less than an hour after I posted this, the Nashville Predators eliminated the Anaheim Ducks from the Stanley Cup playoffs.  Way to go Preddies!  As for the Quacks: Bailey has some words for you!

A puppet President in America? You don't say.

At some point I will seriously sit down to see where this guy is on various issues that I think are important and try to get a feel for what he'd bring to the office, but for now only one thing springs to mind when I hear that Gary Johnson announced his candidacy for President.  This guy:

Don't recognize him?  Are you kidding?  He saved the world!

I can't believe another presidential election season is upon us already.  It feels like we just barely survived the last one.  And yet here we go again with the crazy!

Dance for the puppet master Gary!  Dance!

Hawaiians love their Spam...and I don't mean the online kind

But still, this is a bit much.  I mean really, Spam flavored macadamia nuts?

Classic flavor???

Not to be culturally insensitive or anything, but EEEEEEEWWWWW!!!!

Photo taken at the KTA in Keahou.

Hockey 'tard (if you'll pardon the expression) at large

So yesterday some hack from a San Jose paper, possibly still stinging from the Sharks humiliation at the hands of the L.A. Kings Saturday night or perhaps just suddenly becoming aware of the print media's rapid decline into irrelevance and seized by a desperate need to justify his continued employment and existence, decided to needlessly insult and piss off Kings Nation by insinuating that our arena is a dead zone that actually benefits the visiting team.  Anyone who has ever set foot in Staples during a Kings game can tell you that nothing could be further from the truth and that the place gets even crazier in the post season, something that dates back to the Fabulous/Great Western Forum days.

But in the grand tradition of today's failing media, Mark Purdy of the Silicon Valley Mercury News wasn't about to let any pesky facts get in his way.  Some "highlights" from Purdy's "column" (with my comments in italics):

So. Big home-ice advantage for the Kings, right? At playoff time, the National Hockey League is famous for impossibly raucous, loud and intimidating buildings.
Staples Center is not one of them, though.

Yet as hockey venues go ... well, if HP Pavilion can be a Metallica concert when the puck drops, Staples is more of a Kenny G experience.

So apparently Kenny G wins big over Metallica when it comes to having dedicated and die-hard fans who will stick it out until the end of the show, as opposed to Sharks "fans" who departed Game 2 en masse early because their team was losing.  Have these people ever watched a hockey game?  Because if they had they'd know how quickly things can turn around in this sport which is why you NEVER leave a hockey game early and ESPECIALLY not a friggin' playoff game.  Way to support your team diehards.  Seriously, by the time the final buzzer sounded in Game 2 a good third of the crowd had already bailed.  It looked like a Dodger game.

**********

"The Kings are a strong defensive team," Sharks coach Todd McLellan said. "I don't think it had anything to do with the building."

It might, however, have something to do with the NHL's rule about home teams receiving the last line change during clock stoppages.

What that means: Kings coach Terry Murray can match up the players he wants against whichever Sharks players skate out for a faceoff.  

First of all, we know what "that" means.  Thanks anyway for the remedial hockey lesson.  Another thing we all know: the line change advantage is true of any NHL arena and therefore has nothing to do with Staples.  I believe the expression we're looking for here is "grasping at straws".

**********

Of course, if you were watching Game 1 and Game 2 closely, then you noticed that the Kings were usually able to get defensemen Rob Scuderi and Willie Mitchell onto the ice against the Sharks' top line of Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau and Devin Setoguchi. All three are scoreless in the series.

Um, Mitchell is actually paired with Drew Doughty, who finally remembered who he was Saturday night and as a result proceeded to personally destroy the Sharks, snagging two goals and two assists while Mitchie minded things at home.  So yes, the Kings dominate defensively; Purdy got that much right.  However, it's their game plan every night and not exactly a state secret or journalism career-making observation.

**********

Douglas Murray (no relation to coach Terry)...

Hard to believe when you consider what an unusual name "Murray" is.  I mean, how can they not be related?  Not that that has anything to do with hockey, plus wouldn't Sharks fans know this by now?  As as a writer, I file this under "padding your essay and hoping the instructor won't notice you're totally winging it."

**********

Concentrating better should also be less problematic in a non-riotous place such as Staples.

Winning at Staples won't be a snap, especially with the Kings so jacked up about a potential first-round upset. But at least the Sharks' attention won't be diverted by an overwhelming din.

Your choices of responses to this article are as follows: A) Purdy has never been to a hockey game at Staples Center but shot his mouth off anyway; B) Purdy has never been to a Kings playoff game at Staples Center but shot his mouth off anyway; C) Purdy is an idiot about to discover firsthand that karma and payback are unforgiving identical twin bitches or D) All of the above (aka Things That Come Back to Bite You In the Ass When You Don't Know What the Hell You're Talking About But You Shoot Your Mouth Off Anyway).

In contrast, check out this observation of the playoff atmosphere at Staples by ESPN (from my Kings hockey is almost upon us post from last October, bold added):

I caught two playoff games at Staples Center this past spring and thought the roof was going to collapse. It's amazing to see hockey back in L.A., and this team shouldn't disappoint. Drew Doughty, Willie Mitchell, Rob Scuderi and Jack Johnson as your top four on D? Hello!

Let's face it, ESPN >>>> Mercury News.

I don't know if Purdy is really that ignorant of Kings fans and Staples Center crowds or if he just saw this as a way of getting his name all over the hockey portion of the internets.  Either way, he has gotten his name all over the hockey portion of the internets and has lit a fire under an already fired up Kings team and their fans:



Getting back to the empty seats littering HP Pavilion when the Sharks were being shutout by Jonathan Quick and Friends, they were so numerous that even the Sharks players apparently noticed, prompting Sharks rookie star Logan Couture to tweet after the game pleading with their fans to forget San Jose's tendency to choke in the playoffs and hang in there:


It was RT by the team's mascot but when I went back to get a screenshot of it, I couldn't find it on his Twitter feed.  Deleted?  No matter, I had already responded to it and therefore captured it for all eternity:


In fact, I had tweeted this observation earlier, before the game was even over:


So I don't want to hear any crap about Kings fans or Staples Center failing when it comes to the playoffs.  Especially not from San Jose.  In just a few hours Mark Purdy is going to find out just how loud and raucous Staples Center is and how much better Kings fans are than Sharks fans.  As frustrating as they can be at times (and bless their hearts, they can be extremely frustrating at times) Kings fans are passionately crazy about our team and for his sake I hope Purdy comes prepared with earplugs.  Or maybe a sound-proofed room to lock himself into.

I also hope he won't mind seeing this tonight, as this is usually what happens when the Kings win:

Hot D-Man on Goalie action!  No, non-hockey peeps, it doesn't mean what you think it means.  Having said that, don't you just want to throw rice at them?  Get a room you guys!

KISS THE GOALIE!!!  GO KINGS GO!!!


Smoochie photo credit: Danny Moloshok (AP) although at this point pretty much every Kings fan online has saved it to their hard drive for many future references.  Mr. Moloshok, you have our eternal gratitude for this shot.

Hawaii Five-O theme, marching band style

In a continuing nod to the island paradise I currently find myself in I give you this vid, which hit the internets last year as part of a promotion mounted by CBS for its then-upcoming series Hawaii Five-O.  I have no idea how they choreograph this stuff or how the band members know where they are and where to go on the field (while playing their instruments) but this was an amazing performance.

  

University of Notre Dame Marching Band kicks ass

"This is not what I signed up for."

Us either, jackass.

This has to be one of the most quotable things I've ever seen, so instead of obnoxiously quoting every other line, I'll just embed this baby for your viewing enjoyment.

  

...how is that all working out for you?

Posted from *wink, wink* Hawaii.

McDonald's, Hawaiian style

While running errands today, Mom, The Sis and I stopped at McDonald's to get a drink.  This was on the menu:



Yeah, you don't see that in L.A.

Not The Los Angeles Kings

A bunch of fake L.A. Kings accounts have popped up on Twitter recently and I have to say, they are amusing as hell.

So far I've found the following: Not Matt Greene, Not Drew Doughty, Not a Big Red Dog (Kyle Clifford), Not The Hand of Zus (Michal Handzus), The Mitch 33 (Willie Mitchell), AmeriJack3 (Jack Johnson), LAKScapegoat (Kevin Westgarth) and NAWiskey (Davis Drewisky).

There's also a fake Fake Jim Fox! Whoa!

Our goalies are so freaking awesome they each have two fake accounts.  Real Jonathan Quick is currently being impersonated online by Fake Jon Quick and the wonderfully named No Goals For You.  Unfortunately this name did not apply during our game at San Jose the other night when Quick's Jedi Mind Tricks powers deserted him and he uncharacteristically coughed up four goals before being yanked in the second period.  If you haven't heard about said Jedi powers, check out this save versus the Calgary Flames last month where Quick redirected the puck with his mind.  Seriously, it's been all over the internets.  Get with it.

Backup goalie Jonathan Bernier pulls double Twitter duty as Not Jon Bernier and GoalieLikeG6 (I have no idea what that name means, although I feel like I should be getting it and will feel like an idiot when someone explains it to me).

So far the only fake King following me back is Fake Jon Quick, who castigated me for calling him fake while simultaneously advising me to ignore his fake name.  I want to believe in you Jonathan Quick, I really do.  Please crush the Yotes tonight so we can lock up that playoff spot and the fiasco at the Shark Tank will be forgiven and never spoken of again.

Apparently there's no love for a fake Anze Kopitar, although with Kopi rehabbing after ankle surgery maybe he'll have time to set up a Real Anze account.  Kings fans would love that.

I'm only aware of two Kings players who are on the Twitters for reals: Our Captain Dustin Brown and the recently recalled Oscar Moller, who really needs to update his location.

I can't believe the season is ending this weekend.  It feels like just a couple months ago that The Bro and I were at his favorite sports bar watching our boys open the season with a shootout win over Vancouver.  That was October.  Now all of a sudden it'sApril and for hockey fans that means only one thing: Playoffs start next week!  Go Kings!!!

4/7/11 Update: Add Fake Coach to the list!  Also, the Kings finally clinched a playoff spot last night with a shootout (Quick strikes again) victory over the Yotes. Next up: Try to sweep the final two games - home and away - versus the Quacks to try and nail down home ice advantage in the first round.  Go Kings!!!

Oh Los Angeles, I love you. Don't ever change.

This was the hit of the local internets this morning: Man arrested after running naked down the 405. And yes, there is a picture. Way to go commuter!

The only way this could be any better is if he hadn't assaulted anyone. I hope the woman is okay. None of the reports I've seen so far have any details of the attack or how badly she was hurt.

Okay, he wasn't completely nude. He was wearing socks. But still...only in LA!

Wait, we're already talking about next season? I'm still dealing with this one.

Guess what I got in the mail today that totally made my day?  Of course it's Kings related:

Someday...someday.

I noticed that the logo on the return address on the evelope is not the current crown, but the third jersey "home plate" logo.  I think it was a forgone conclusion at this point, but apparently we really are going to switch to the black next season and as much as I like the black thirds, the logo on its own is surprisingly plain and certainly a lot less kingly (in my opinion) than the crown.  What do you think?

When you look at them on a plain background, I think the home plate gets a lot less interesting.

Also, hey, three Kings related posts in a row.  Hat trick!

On the downside, I also received a jury summons in the mail today, and that was after coming home after dropping the car off for $1,100 of repairs.  Joy.

What does an L.A. King have to do to get trending on Twitter?

Just get a horrific looking injury, that's all.

Get well soon, Kopi!

Update: Broken ankle, out minimum six weeks.  Curse you, hockey gods!

You don't get to 500 million Mateys without making a few landlubbin' enemies

Thanks to my friend Liz, I was recently tipped off to Facebook's "Pirate" language option and decided to give it a shot.  Although the novelty wore off after a while, it was pretty hilarious and I'll probably switch back to it periodically just for a laugh.  Whoever it was at Facebook that came up with all the pirate language really knows their pirate language.

One of the many changes Piratese makes is that it adds the title of "Cap'n" before everyone's name.  Which resulted in this:

Dustin Brown is the team captain of my beloved Los Angeles Kings.