What we learned in culinary school this week: Week 1

Started with knife skills.

This was Chef's demo. Mine wasn't quite so neat
and uniform.

We made stocks. Lots of stocks. Vegetable stock. Chicken stock. Mushroom stock. Fish stock. Lobster stock. Roasted stocks. White stocks. Brown stocks. And because we learned stocks we also learned about mirepoix.

The school generates its own stocks and we'll be using them a lot, so we'll be making more in the future.

Chicken stock.

Brown chicken stock.

Lobster for lobster stock. Boiling lobster isn't as
traumatic as people think. There was no drama, just
popped him into the pot and pulled him out 7 minutes
later. The shell went into stock and the meat became
delicious lobster salad sandwiches for lunch.

Pots and pans: Stainless steel is best, because it's non-reactive to metal on metal. Stainless is shiny, like a dime. Aluminum (duller in appearance, like a nickel) is reactive to metal on metal, which means it can affect the taste and appearance of the food. For example, if you use a metal whisk to stir milk in an aluminum pot, the reaction will turn it gray in color. Very unappetizing. You would want to stir with a wooden spoon in an aluminum pot. Or just go with stainless. Examples of high-performance/quality are All-Clad (stainless), Le Creuset (cast iron covered with enamel) and copper.

Class dismissed!

My vision is a little blurry

Our first assignment (given to us at the orientation in November and due the first day of school) was to write a vision statement explaining why we're here and what we hope to get out of the school.  Here's mine:

I'm entering this program without concrete plans for the future. I'm here partly because of my very positive past experience with the school, which has stoked my love for cooking and inspired me to consider making it more than just a hobby. 

At the very least, one idea I do have for this training is to write and publish cookbooks. I love to write and self-publishing is a no-brainer these days. Assistance with how to promote self-published books is all over the internet, with a big assist to social media. I feel that if I had the expertise to create recipes, then this is the least I would be able to do with it in the future. 

Beyond that, what I would like to get out of the program (besides the knowledge, skills and enjoyment) is a clearer idea of additional opportunities available when I've graduated. I feel that this is something that will happen as I progress through the program. 

I attended a number of recreational classes at New School in 2013 and absolutely loved each and every one. In addition to the actual cooking, I was blown away by the amount of knowledge I gained in each class. How to buy, what to buy, nutritional information...when I think about how much I learned in each recreational class, the idea of what I could learn attending five days a week for six months is kind of ming boggling to me. The knowledge I've gained from the classes I've taken so far has made me want to learn more, and based on my experience I'm confident in the school, its instructors and its methods.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the world's smallest goalie!!!

Staples Center frequently hosts short but entertaining battles with kids hockey teams between periods at Kings games.  The Brother and I always find them adorable and love how much fun the kiddies have skating on the same ice as their NHL idols.  We've seen some ridiculously cute little hockey players, but at last night's first intermission featured the littlest goalie we've ever seen.  And we've seen some little guys (and girls) out there, but then this happened:

The chick in the shot and her beret aren't giants, they just look that way because TEENY TINY GOALIE!!!

 The best thing about this kid was that he meant business out there.  Just look at that concentration.

 He made a pretty big save too, although I didn't get a picture of that.

Seriously, microscopic goalie makes that chick look like a giant, but she really wasn't.  Also, she had a really awesome Stanley Cup Champions letterman's jacket that I totally coveted, but I digress...

 Action shot!!!

His work here is done.  Your move, Jonathan Quick.

Seriously, they make goalie gear that small?

We just loved this little guy to death.  Hopefully, some day in the future he'll be between the pipes for the Kings, although by that time I'll probably be too old and senile to know what's going on when he's making huge saves.

More beachy words of inspiration!

Based on personal experience, if you have a shell in your pocket you'll also have sand in your pocket :)

H/T to Beach Cottage Life on Facebook.

Food for sleepless thought

I have terrible insomnia.  I'm not really sure why.  Often there are nights like the night before last, when I just couldn't shut it down until about 3:30 am even though I really, really wanted to go to sleep.  It's like my brain won't take a break.  From a creative standpoint that sounds awesome, but the reality is that it sucks and I'm bloodshot-eyed and ineffective and yawning constantly the next day.  I've never bought into the tortured artist thing anyway.

And then when I do actually sleep, there's last night and what that "sleep" brought.

I start culinary school on Monday and although I'm terribly excited about it, I've also started to kind freak out about it a bit this week.  Not in a debilitating meltdown way, but in more of an I can't believe I'm actually getting to do this thing that may change my life that I've been wanting to do for a while and now it's actually here kind of way.

So last night, as I slept fitfully (a phrase writers never tire of) my ever helpful insomniac brain came up with this nightmare scenario: I arrive for my first day of culinary school not only without my chef's jacket (a rather important piece of the uniform we were given at the orientation a few weeks ago), but I've also forgotten the notebook they gave us at orientation, where in addition to the vast importance of our uniforms, we were also impressed with the need to take notes and document like crazy.

And just for good measure, for some reason I also show up for class barefoot.  No idea how that got in there, as the required rubber-soled shoes part of the uniform was never a problem (thank you my latest pair of Nikes).

I woke up traumatized and tired.  Thanks brain, you heartless bastard you.

Years ago, my Dad informed me that I'd inherited my lousy sleep patterns from him.  He gave me an over-the-counter pill to help me sleep, supposedly so effective that I could cut the thing in half where it was scored down the middle and still achieve the desired sleepy results.  I tried it once and while it worked, I was so disturbed at how difficult it was for me to get up and go after that drugged, sleep-filled night that I never tried any sort of sleeping pill again.  There was just something creepy about the effect and how little control I had over it.

But then there's the insomnia thing, which I also can't control.  But at least I can own it, I guess.  So silver lining, sort of.

Sort of.

One of the things on my to-do list this weekend is ironing my chef's jacket, releasing it from its folded up, creased, plastic wrap enfolded newness, so that on Monday morning I'll look as professionally presentable as possible.  The importance of a clean, professional appearance was impressed upon us newbies at the orientation.

With that in mind, I just can't wait to see what horrific, fabric burning, apartment scorching scenario my brain will come up with over the next couple of nights.  Hope not.  Maybe sometimes ironing can just be ironing.

But insomnia and my overactive imagination...

Life lessons from Albert Einstein

Some more words of inspiration for the new year:

Well, the man was a genius.

It's a new year - resolve to make waves!

Insomniac

Creatures of the night.

I guess this is going to be an annual post: Merry Christmas to everyone!

TO ALL MY LIBERAL FRIENDS:

 Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2013, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.



TO ALL MY CONSERVATIVE FRIENDS:
 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Greeting and image snicked from the internets, but the sentiments come straight from my heart :)

Why you need to check out this $40,000 TV on Amazon

That's right, a $40k television.  But the best part of it is the comments.  Be sure to scroll down and check them out.  Some of the gems:

My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery.

And as far as this being a $40,000 "dumb" TV, people need to re-read my initial post: WE BOUGHT IT REFURBISHED. It was only $30,000.

I was going to fund my daughters wedding in Hawaii, but I figured this Samsung TV would last much longer.  

I am coming back from the future to write this review, and to let everyone know you can buy this TV for $699 in 2015. It still looks great though. 

I dont actually have cable access so this is currently being used as a dry erase board, but is an attractive addition to my command center. Thats what I call my bedroom. 

Mr. Carson loves the addition to the library. The family could not be more pleased. Bates will never walk again as it fell when the footmen were bringing it in, but for 10k off, we consider it a noble sacrifice.

The sacrificial offering of my first born child was not enough of an offering for Samsung. They would only accept and arm and a leg for this TV; which I gladly did. I have to admit that it's been difficult typing with only one hand and I have to hop to get to the TV room. 

I was watching the Kardashian's on it, and as soon as Kim was on the screen .... BOOOOM ... I got herpes. It's THAT lifelike.

 I have to wonder how many of these babies they actual sell. 

The one day of the year I wish I owned a boat: The Marina del Rey Christmas Boat Parade

Last night was the annual parade through the marina and channel, and for the second straight year I wound up next to a loud, drunk, obnoxious neighbor.  No wonder such a good spot was open.  You can hear his (and his kid's) running commentary during these clips (all jerky camera work is mine - this was all shot on my Droid):

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Boat

Grand Marshals Phil Jackson and Jeannie Buss

I've learned that there are certain things you need to do to be effective in this parade: Lots of lights/decorations, music, a PA so you can wish everyone watching a Merry Christmas, and a Santa on board.  But it seemed like everyone - both on the water and on shore - was having a great time reveling in the Christmas spirit.  Good times all around.

Oh Christmas Tree: Kings vs. Blues

The Brother and I hit Staples Center last night for the fifth game of our ten-pack.  We were treated to another exciting game as the Kings held on to beat the St. Louis Blues, giving us a record of 4-1 so far this season in games attended.  The past couple of years our beloved boys in black have lost most of the games we've attended, so it's nice not to feel like we're bad luck.  The Kings took a 3-0 lead into the third with two goals from rookie Tyler Toffoli and one from Jarret Stoll.  The Blues scored in the third period, then got another one past Ben Scrivens with about fifteen seconds left after pulling their goalie, however they were unable to tie it up and L.A. took the two points in a game that was nowhere near as close as the score.  We were kind of surprised Sutter didn't put Toffoli out when the Blues net was empty to try and get him a hat trick, but the important thing is that we won, and Toffoli got top star of the game.

Interesting factoid: Hockey players like to give each other nicknames, which are usually just a pretty unimaginative play on their actual names (Brownie, Kopi, Quickie, Cliffy, Cartsy, Kinger, Marty, Mitchie, etc) but Toffoli's teammates in Manchester (the Kings minor league team) bestowed a rather unique one on him: Top Titty.  Heh.  Boys will be boys.

On the opposite end of the fun spectrum there were the three guys sitting behind us who talked nearly non-stop throughout the entire game.  It was kind of weird because they did seem to be into the game, but they would not shut up.  I was tempted to turn around and tell them they were missing a good game.  It seemed more civil than SHUT THE FUCK UP.  I could feel a headache coming on in the third period, but the Kings win tempered that.  Some samples of the obnoxiousness:

• Lots of talk about their work (apparently they all work together) including a discussion about an apparent former co-worker who used to be fat but is now thin and might be coming back to the company.
• One of the guys listing off the countries of origin of most of the Kings roster (including states for a lot of the American players).
• During a break in play, the music played apparently reminded them of an AC/DC song, leading to a discussion of what years various AC/DC albums were released and with which lead singer, along with the observation that, "Those guys are in their sixties now."
• Chatting about going to see an upcoming movie.
• And best of all this comment late in the game: "What happened to the Quick guy?"  That does it.  Turn in your fan cards.

It would have been one thing if the game had been boring, but it was a great game.  Imagine how annoying those guys must be in the office.

In other news, L.A. Live lit up their Christmas tree last night and it is beautiful (and huge):

Very sparkly.  I'd like to have the money spent just on electricity for L.A. Live for just one night.  Season tickets for life.

Our seats this season are right next to the tunnel, however the Droid has proven to be less than adept at catching shots of players striding out onto the ice.  This is pretty much the only one that wasn't a total loss:

Mitchie, Cliffy, Slava.

One of these days I need to dig out my camera and see if I can get some decent shots of the players with that.  In the past I've tried getting shots of them skating and they just move so fast most of the time they're a blur, so I'm not sure if tunnel shots will be any better.  Usually I can get some pretty decent shots with the phone (the picture that I have as my header, for example) but it's just not up to action shots.

All in all, a fun and exciting night at the Stape!