Thank you to all our veterans

A big thank you to the men and women (and their families) who have served and protected our beautiful country over the years! I don't know how you do it, but I'm glad you do.

We now return you to Pacific Standard Time

This has been a public service announcement.

You know who always joins me in the shower? The creativity fairy

Also while getting ready to go somewhere when I don't have time to stop and jot down notes, or in the car where it would be dangerous to jot down notes, or late at night when I just want to sleep but have to turn the light back on, get up and jot down notes...you get the point. One of the most frustrating things for writers is how often inspiration seems to strike at the most inopportune of times.

Well, at least one of these situations has been licked - let me introduce you to Aqua Notes. This is not a paid endorsement - I really use these things and they work. The specially coated paper has no problem withstanding water and steam, while being very easy to write on. Each pad comes with what appears to be a regular Number 2 pencil (it writes on regular paper as well) and everything is mounted with suction cups.

Now if I could just master my digital recorder, I could write in the car as well. Unfortunately my technological skills seem to be more in line with suction cups and pencils.

Joy!!! Writers' Police Academy announces 2017 dates!

Via email:

We are pleased to announce the dates for the 9th annual 2017 Writers' Police Academy---August 10-13, 2017.

We are equally pleased to say we'll be returning to the absolutely stunning international training academy situated on the campus of Northeast Wisconsin Technical College in Green Bay, Wi.

More info here. Seriously, it's like an addiction.

Calendar has been marked!

October Words of Wisdom

Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it. Success is shy - it won't come out while you're watching. --Tennessee Williams

Why did I write? Because I found life unsatisfactory. --Tennessee Williams

We have to distrust each other. It's our only defense against betrayal. --Tennessee Williams

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. --Psalms 37:7

Habit is the bed of creativity, so tuck yourself in. --Stephen King

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work. --Stephen King

Ideas are easy. It's the execution of the ideas that really separate the sheep from the goats. --Sue Grafton

As a writer, it's all grist for the mill: your friends, enemies, relatives, strangers, your fears, worries, failures and triumphs. All of it. --Mark Rubinstein.

What doesn't kill us gives us something new to write about. --Julie Wright

The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do. --Unknown

Don't be impressed by what you see someone post online; be impressed by what you see them doing behind the scenes. Integrity is revealed by what we choose to do when we think no one else is watching. --Dave Willis

The liberties of the people will never be secure when transactions of their rulers are concealed from them. --Patrick Henry

A man who has faith is somebody who can be saved. --Otto Penzler

If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. --Wilson Mizner

Be like water. Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. --Lao Tzu

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. --W. Somerset Maugham

Never apologize for being too sensitive or emotional. It's a sign that you have a big heart, and that you aren't afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength. --Brigette Nicole

When we realize that sensitivity is a gift and not a liability, that's when we start to get our strength. --Doreen Virtue

Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows. --Native American Proverb

Whatever makes you weird is probably your greatest asset. --Joss Whedon

Do not wait; the time will never be "just right". Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. --Napoleon Hill

Happy Halloween!!!

Who knew the biggest laugh I'd get today would be courtesy of The Getty Museum on Facebook?

Have a safe and fun Halloween, kids!

One of these things is not like the other

Via Tasty on Facebook, it's Buzzfeed's list of 21 Pictures of Food That Will Give You Extreme Trust Issues. They're also hilarious. #8 has definitely happened to me (although not that one in particular). It's why when I want a pizza, I buy a plain cheese one and add the toppings myself.

This reminded me of a website I found years ago, that is still one of the funniest things I've ever seen online: Fast Food: Ads vs. Reality. I still go over there periodically and marvel at the differences.

Some of the best kids Halloween costumes you'll ever see

When I was a kid, most of us had the store-bought costumes with the plastic masks that made your face all sweaty. But there's always people who go all out when it comes to costuming their kids and here are some of them: 39 Hilarious Halloween Photos of Kids Who Won at Life.

Some of them are really amazing. Here are my favorites:

Granted, a couple are disturbing for how young the kids are. Alex from A Clockwork Orange? Especially terrifying is the way that kid is selling it. I also thought the Zombie Kid was a bit over the top. They'd make great adult costumes, though.

Do check it out at the link. It's amazing how clever and creative people can be.

The delightfully sinister ad campaign for "A Cure For Wellness"

Director Gore Verbinski may be best known to most people for helming the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but to me he's always been the guy responsible for the visually stunning English-language version of The Ring. If you've never seen it, do so. It's amazing. "Seven days..."

I was never a big fan of the Pirates movies and The Lone Ranger was apparently a mess. So I was happy to discover, thanks to a story at Deadline today, that Verbinski appears to be returning to his moody, creepy roots with his next film, A Cure For Wellness. The description of the psychological thriller from Fox's site:

An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company's CEO from an idyllic but mysterious "wellness center" at a remote location in the Swiss Alps. He soon suspects that the spa's miraculous treatments are not what they seem. When he beings to unravel its terrifying secrets, his sanity is tested, as he finds himself diagnosed with the same curious illness that keeps all the guests here longing for the cure.

In addition to the spooky visuals in the trailer, there is a trio of clips that seem to be hypnosis sessions from the "wellness center" that start out blissfully (I've done hypnosis and this is an excellent example of what it's like) then turn sinister.

"Embrace the meaninglessness of your wasted existence."

The trailer is here and the other clips are here. A Cure For Wellness will be in theaters February 2017 and I am really looking forward to it.

Bouchercon - Day 3 (Saturday)

Missed a couple of early panels because I went to brunch with Mom and The Brother (it was his last day in NOLA) at the Palace Cafe. Still got in four panels.

I also got to meet my LAst Resort editor Matt Coyle and see him on a panel. We'd talked on the phone and via email while editing my story, but it was the first time I met him face to face.

Look Through Any Window: Hollywood
Holly West (moderator), Renee Patrick (aka husband and wife writing team Rosemarie Keenan and Vince Keenan), Melodie Johnson Howe, Diana Chambers, Kathryn Leigh Scott

Hollywood is always an intriguing location and this panel featured writers whose stories are set in Tinseltown.

• The Keenans write a series featuring legendary Hollywood costume designer Edith Head involved in crime-solving along with an amateur sleuth they created. Their pitch: "Edith Head, detective". Vince is the Managing Editor of Noir City, the e-magazine of the Film Noir Foundation. Rosemarie came up with the idea, Vince liked it, and they were off.
• Scott, an actress who got her start on the 1960's series Dark Shadows, writes about an fictional actress who plays an amateur sleuth on TV and it carries over into her real life. As the character's fame fades, she ends up living out of her car, which she refers to as the "Ritz Volvo".
• Vince Keenan: Despite being a native New Yorker, he believes that L.A is the ultimate noir town. When you screw up in L.A. there's nowhere else to go.

Their noir influences:

• Howe: Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammett, Vera Caspary.
• Chambers: Casablanca, filmmakers who fled Nazi Germany for the U.S.
• Scott: Agatha Christie, Dorothy Sayers.

Doin' What Comes Naturally: Believable Characters
Meg Gardiner (moderator), Matt Coyle, Diane Vallere, Erik Storey, Marty Wingate

Writing characters who do jobs you have (or haven't) done:

• Wingate: Avid gardener, has gone to England to research their gardens. Her stories are set in Seattle, where the weather is similar to England's.
• Coyle: First novel was set in a restaurant - he's a former restaurant manager.
• Vallere: Her books are set in the fashion industry - she's a former fashion buyer.

Challenging their characters:

• Storey: Trial by fire.
• Coyle: Make them do something they don't want to do.
• Vallere: Find the emotional thread.

Making larger than life characters believable:

• Storey: Give them a flaw. And have them fail once in a while - it's boring if they're perfect all the time.
• Wingate: Trip them up. And give them a vested interest in the victim.
• Coyle: Doesn't think of his character, Rick Cahill, as larger than life, but he has to do huge things.

Heroes vs. Villains:

• Storey: Both should feel real.
• Coyle: Villains often get short shrift. The villain thinks he's the hero, and needs to have a motive for his actions.

What kills believability:

• Storey: Stereotypes.
• Coyle: Behaving out of character to keep the plot going.
• Vallere: Being too perfect.
• Wingate: Too much coincidence.

Most important aspect to creating a believable character: 

• Storey: Adding layers as the story progresses.
• Vallere: Can you list 20 things about them? Even things they don't do anymore and have left in their past.

Born on the Bayou: Louisiana Stories

Bill Fitzhugh (moderator), Bill Loehfelm, O'Neil De Noux, S.W. Lauden, Harley Jane Kozak, Jaden Terrell

This panel was different than usual in that the participants took turns on the stage and did one-person performances showcasing their personal experiences with New Orleans. They were all terrific.

Loehfelm is a New Yorker who moved to New Orleans in 1997. He described dealing with the New Orleans Police Department's Mounted Unit during Mardis Gras, which can be summed up in three statements: "Yes sir/ma'am", "No sir/ma'am" and "Thank you officer, I'll be on my way".

Kozak was attending a conference in New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina hit and she described fleeing her hotel, the city and the airport. Short version: It got crazy.

O'Neal was a Jefferson Parish patrolman who had a hilarious story about a naked dancer who ended up on his patrol car while on duty on Fat City Avenue, which he described as Metaire's (a suburb of NOLA) version of Bourbon Street. So basically, there was a ton of booze involved.

Laughton discussed his memories of his band's road trip from California to New Orleans. Apparently you can take the 10 Freeway all the way from Southern Cal to NOLA. I'll bet that's an interesting trip even if you aren't crammed in a van with a bunch of rockers.

Fitzhugh had a great story from his teen years about cutting school and driving from Jackson, Mississippi with some friends, and indulging (or trying to) in all the vices that NOLA has to offer. This included trying to score a tryst with a lady on a stoop, who, when he got closer, was sporting facial stubble. 

Because I'm writing this a month after the fact, I can't exactly remember Terrell's story because my notes are minimal, but I do remember that she still owes a tip to a construction worker.

Take a bow!

So Long, Farewell: Nailing the Ending
Cara Black (moderator), Lisa Alber, Charles Rosenberg, James Hankins, Stuart Neville

On playing fair with the readers' expectations of resolution:

• Neville: As a writer you have a contract with the reader that the story will reach a satisfying (although not necessarily happy) ending.
• Hankins: Playing fair is critical. You can hide the ball, but it still has to be there.

Endings they envy:

• Hankins: Author Greg Iles - shades of gray in his resolutions, because you can't save everyone.
• Neville: James Ellroy's American Tabloid, which ends with President John F. Kennedy's assassination. Instead of describing the shooting, the character of Pete Boundourant hears, "One big fucking scream."
• Alber: Author Sophie Hannah. You get the sense of things continuing after the book ends.
• Rosenberg: Gone Girl. He quoted T.S. Eliot: "This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper."

Cool factoid: Neville proposed to his wife at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books.

And that does it for another Bouchercon! I didn't go to any of the Sunday morning panels because I wanted to hit the French Market again. Among other things, I had a gator burger for lunch!

NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!

When a 1994 parody sketch becomes today's reality

Keep in mind that The Kids in the Hall did this sketch in 1994. It sounds like something you'd hear about happening on a college campus today. H/T to 9gag.com for sharing this.

"The poor woman-child is just another victim of the patriarchy!"

"Hate crime! Hate crime!"

"It is also a racist construct! This woman represents the same white image of beauty that has oppressed women for centuries!"

"Anyone who stays is obviously racist!"

"White male!"

I love Dave Foley's line: "Sorry, it's just naked, fat, black, crippled dykes are hard to find."

Bouchercon - Day 2 (Friday)

Update: I realized that I had included meeting Matt Coyle, my editor on LAst Resort, on this post. That didn't happen until Saturday, so I moved it to the Day 3 post. This is what happens when you recap several weeks after the fact. And also because Bouchercon is so overwhelming at times it turns into a blur.

Speaking of LAst Resort I ran into Rochelle Staub, President of Sisters in Crime Los Angeles, and she had spectacular news about who is writing the forward/introduction for the anthology. It hasn't been officially announced, so I don't want to say anything, but let's just say my jaw just about hit the floor. Definitely raises the book's profile. It also means that my story will be read by one of the most successful writers alive. So very, very cool. I asked her about the cover art and she told me it resembles the cover of Hotel California, which I think sounds awesome. LAst Resort will be released in early April 2017 and will be available for pre-order 6-8 weeks prior to that.

And now, panels!

Writing Groups: Our Experience Forming and Running a Group
Eleanor Cawood Jones (moderator), Donna Andrews, Ellen Crosby, John Gilstrap, Alan Orloff, Art Taylor

The panelists (with the exception of moderator Jones) have been in a writing/critique group for six years. They shared their experience and advice.

• They meet monthly and schedule several months in advance. Attendance is about 95%.
• Andrews: "What's said in group stays in group."
• When they formed the group, they selected all writers who had already been published in order to avoid tension over success or lack thereof. They recommended that if you're starting a group to have writers with similar experience (new and experienced is a bad mix). They also live in the same area, so getting together is doable. They also decided to meet at Gilstrap's house because he commutes to and from Washington DC, so this makes it easier for him to make the meetings.
• Orloff: "I know everyone in this group has my back."
• They all indicated that they have learned a lot about writing from the critiques they've received from the group over time. 

You Always Hurt The One You Love: Messing With Your Protagonist

Karen McInnery (moderator), Jeff Abbott, Laura Benedict, Cara Black, Susan Elia MacNeal, Michael Wiley

The worst thing they've done to their protagonists:
Wiley: He's divorced, but still in love with his ex-wife.
Black: Internal pain and loss of her parents and fiancee.
Benedict: Rape, loss of child.
MacNeal: Made her kill a man.
Abbott: Pregnant wife kidnapped, brother killed on video by terrorists.

And why:
Abbott: "I have pages to fill."
Benedict: Conflict moves the story forward. Bad things are going to happen, but revenge is sweet.
Wiley: Facing fears and overcoming them is important.
MacNeal: Likes the idea of ordinary people thrust into extraordinary circumstances. "What would you do?"
Black: Arc of her story is characters learning about themselves.

On the subject of going too far, or at least considering it and then pulling back:
Benedict: Her agent once told her that a decapitation in her story was okay, but rolling the head across the floor to the heroine was a bit much.
Black: Had a pregnant woman in an ambulance but couldn't decide if the baby was going to live. Her agent: "Yes, the baby will live."
Wiley: Wouldn't kill a dog for the longest time, and when he finally did, he made it a bad dog. Won't go after kids. Also feels there's a difference between something horrific happening onstage as opposed to offstage.

Have they ever cried about something they did to a character?
Abbott: Had to kill off a character he loved and had to walk away from his computer.
MacNeal: Just killed off a major character and all she could think about was his mom.
Benedict: Recently killed off a young character and it made her feel sad.
Black: Killed off a character and made her agent cry.
Wiley: Killed off a secondary character once and got a letter from a reader complaining that she had been in love with the character and wanted to kill Wiley for offing him.


Dirty Boulevard: Hard Boiled
Susan Alice Bickford (moderator), Craig Faustus Buck, Rob Hart, Barbara N.S. Nickless, Lisa Turner

• Buck and Hart when asked about the difference between hard-boiled and noir, cited editor Otto Penzler's take on noir: that it's about losers and everyone is doomed. Hart feels that hard boiled stories are about winners who feel their moral compass is superior to others. Buck also feels that noir has a certain hipness.
• Hart on archetypes: The hard-boiled private investigator, the gunslinger, the hero - important that they have a disconnect from the world. Orphans, children of tragedy or estranged from their families. 
• Nickless believes the "lone hero" is an American thing - cited Shane as an example of a story in which the hero comes in, saves everyone, then rides off into the sunset alone.
• Buck noted that a hard-boiled protagonist can't be a normal, well-balanced guy. Stories need conflict, and that's hard to do if everything is rosy.

Common People: Amateur Sleuths
Clea Simon (moderator), Tim O'Mara, Marcia Talley, Con Lehane, Suzanne Trauth, Susan Oleksliw

On their amateur sleuths:
Trauth: Sleuth is a restaurant manager - her hook is her organizational skills.
O'Mara: His protagonist is a New York City schoolteacher/former cop. O'Mara himself is a long-time NYC teacher and said that there isn't much difference between being a teacher or a cop in NYC. Had a cop in his classroom one day and at the end of her visit she asked him, "How do you do it?" His brother is also an NYC cop.
Oleksliw: Her sleuth is a photographer. Oleksliw uses her camera as a character.
Talley: Librarian - research is her strength.
Lehane: Sleuth is a Library Crime Fiction Coordinator.

Justifying the continuing involvement of an amateur sleuth in stories and series:
Trauth: Give protagonist an emotional imperative in relationship to the crime. A driven personality helps too.
Talley: Try to make her involvement logical (friend, family or self in danger or under suspicion).

Other points made:

• Talley: If using a real location, be as accurate as possible. She has noted things as specific as where a coke machine is located in the waiting room of an ER. If you get something wrong, someone will let you know about it.
• Amateur sleuths are usually softer than sleuths in other sub-genres of mystery and crime. Think Agatha Christie's sleuths.
• Talley often auctions off characters names as fundraisers. Usually the "winners" ask to be murder victims. Was once asked if she could off the person's ex-husband in the story. She did.

Next up: Saturday panels!