From the Department of Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should...

Carrie remake.

Thin Man remake.

Neither of these films needs to be remade.  Seriously people, write something original.

 Now that Cahuenga Peak has been saved, somebody please save Hollywood!

Leader of the Free World as Comic Relief: A Jolly Good Twofer

Looks like I picked the wrong week to start jotting down Obamaisms!  On the other hand, I've been wanting a full time job and now it looks like I've found one, so maybe I should quit my bitching.

President Obama is visiting England and yes, hilarity has ensued.  First, he decided to immortalize his visit in writing at Westminster Abbey.  Big mistake.

It's one thing when I can't remember what day it is.  It's another thing entirely when the President of the United States doesn't know what year it is.

Although in his defense, May 2008 was a much happier time for him.  I can understand him wanting to remain in that moment.

And then he really fucked up:

Well that was awkward.

It pretty much goes without saying that if Bush had pulled either of these boneheaded moves he would have been raked over the coals as the most defective idiot ever to hold elected office...and rightly so.   Luckily for Obama, the bulk of the press gave him a lifetime pass some time ago.  57 states?  No problem!  No sense of protocol?  No problem!  Two major screwups in one day?  No problem, the media has his back!

Luckily for the rest of us, there's the internets.

All joking aside, that was a pretty scary face he pulled when he finally had to admit defeat and shut the hell up.  He knew he'd just totally humiliated himself big time and he wasn't happy about it.  Those Brits are lucky there wasn't a flamethrower within reach.  It could have gotten a lot uglier.  God save the Queen, indeed.

Isn't someone in Obama's position supposed to have people who are responsible for prepping him for events like this?  The average American can't really be expected to have a handle on British royal protocol, but the President isn't the average American.  Did he refuse to be bothered to learn this stuff or is his staff just that inept?  Either way, heads are gonna roll!  In fact, in my fictionalized version of this comedy of errors, post-humiliation he walks into a room of staffers and screams, "Off with their heads!" 

 

Does it count as political intrigue when everyone knows about it?

Look, I'm sure every campaign these days has this kind of thing going on: Obama re-election campaign digging up dirt on potential opponent.

Despite New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's repeated pronouncements that he will not seek the GOP presidential nomination, Obama operatives are compiling a dossier of what they call "opposition research" -- material that could be used to damage Christie if he changes his mind, The Post has learned.

"Compiling a dossier" = "Digging up dirt" in political parlance. In other word, President Hopey Change is willing to play dirty to stay on top, if that's what it takes. I'm sure the MSM will be all over these shenanigans (snerk!)!

The Obama campaign is trying to keep its efforts from public view, concerned they would only elevate Christie's already impressive standing within the Republican Party, sources said. 

They've got that much right.  Playing dirty does have a tendency to make the other guy look good simply in comparison.  Seriously, these people make CREEP look squeaky clean.  Also, it's not keeping it from public view when the New York Post is writing about it and Fox News is discussing it on air.  Just an FYI, political geniuses.

Top Dems applauded Team Obama's preparation. 

"It would be irresponsible for them to not start looking at it," said a consultant who played a key role in Obama's 2008 campaign. "It would be malpractice for them not to."

"Preparation" = "Setting up a smear campaign".  To me, this is what you do when you can't beat them with your qualifications, experience and track record.  When you can't or won't take the high road, the only remaining option is the low road.  This kind of garbage may be politics as usual and SOP for these sleazebags, but the American in me still has the decency to be appalled by this kind of behavior.  And it certainly isn't going to get my vote.

The writer in me, on the other hand, is furiously scribbling notes:

Update: This guy is going to be very busy between now and November 2012.

The post is a new one for this White House. Rapid response has usually been outsourced to the Democratic National Committee (DNC), if not done on an ad-hoc basis by administration officials. And it signals that the White House will be adopting a more aggressive defense of the president and his policies as his re-election campaign gears up.

I'm guessing one of the qualification for this position was "must be willing to play dirty.  Chicago political background desirable but not required."  And apparently the new Internets Czar is relishing his aggressive new role - in his first official, on the job tweet he introduced himself by tweeting this image:

Michelle Malkin?  Terminated!  Ulsterman?  Terminated! Norma Jean Young?  Terminated!  Everyone in this convo?  Retroactively terminated to 2008!  Oh, and Hillbuzz, who had the nerve to point out this inconvenient truth about Jesse Lee's cool new job:

This position isn’t funded by the Democrat National Committee or Teh Won’s re-election campaign. It’s an official White House position, a government job, funded by the taxpayers of America, to stifle your First Amendment rights.

YOU ARE SO TERMINATED!!!

I guess I've answered my own question (posed in the post title).   Intrigue is all around us.  And it's very intriguing.

I can't take notes fast enough.

Dogs of Keauhou

My Mom and I spotted these adorable little guys as we left the KTA in Keauhou:

Pictures don't do them justice.  They were even more ridiculously cute in person.

A warrior and a sitcom character

That's what came to mind when I saw this photo comparison that Weasel Zippers used in their post about the Netanyahu/Obama "1967 lines" dust-up:

One of these things is not like the other...

My favorite comment:

This could absolutely go in the political thriller script.  Even dramas need an occasional moment of humor to give the audience a moment to catch their breath (and mislead them into thinking all is well *evil laugh*).  It's comical, but also sobering: It's not a world of men anymore. 

Either that or he would make an awesome goofy sidekick.  I mean, just look at him.

Photo snicked from the linked article.

Historic Hermosa Beach gets some love

I love anything to do with historic Southern California, especially L.A. and Hollywood.  This also applies to the beach cities.  I could live in the world in this mural:

Well done, Hermosa Beach!

Hello hangover!

After a week and countless fails ignored pleas for any sort of assistance or information, Blogger has restored image uploading.  Catchup posts now commencing.

Someday I will get back to L.A. and when I do one of the things I will miss most about Hawaii is shopping at the KTA in Keauhou.  Awesome store for so many reasons, one of which is that they are not only the people who brought us Spam-flavored macadamia nuts, but also Hello Kitty wine!

Apparently there's an Angelic Hello Kitty wine and a Lil' Devil Hello Kitty wine.

Best part: It was "marked down" to thirty bucks.  Seriously.  Marked down!

Such a bargain!

I took a pass on it.  Sorry, wine-connoiseur Bro!

How does this not have political intrigue written all over it? Someone get on this!

As I've probably mentioned before the political thriller is not my genre, although I'm beginning to think maybe it should be given the wealth of material that has been and will no doubt continue to be generated by the current administration.

Seriously, who would have ever guessed that with the sad tenth anniversary of 9/11 only a few months away anyone would have the gall to make this statement to the American people, much less our own President? (bold mine)

"As Americans have been seared by hostage taking, violent rhetoric, and terrorist attacks that have killed thousands of our citizens - a failure to change our approach threatens a deepening spiral of division between the United States and Muslim communities"

You know what causes deepening spirals of divisions?  Well for starters, there's hostage taking, violent rhetoric and terrorist attacks.  Maybe we aren't the ones guilty of "a failure to change our approach", Mr. President. 

For possibly the millionth time since November 2008 I find myself reading an Obama quote and wondering exactly whose side he's on.  If this guy was a legitimate plant by the enemies of the state he would have a better cover.  I find myself wondering how he sees the world around him.  That alone would be a ton of work in terms of character development (and by "character development" I mean the creating a fictional character kind, not the real life "personal integrity" kind).

Honestly, political thriller novelists, you're slacking, really you are.  Nevermind, I'll do it. *dashes off to jot down notes*

Still in Hawaii

I've now gone from being in Hawaii for an undetermined length of time due to an illness in the family to staying in Hawaii for an undetermined length of time due to a death in the family.  So far things are going a lot smoother than I would have anticipated, but then again I had no idea this would happen so fast and really had no idea what to anticipate.

I also have no idea when I will set foot in L.A. again but I have a feeling it won't be for a while.  However, if you have to be stuck somewhere under unpleasant circumstances, Hawaii is hardly the most awful place to be.  So in honor of my temporary home away from home here is the awesome Hawaii Five-0 theme performed by the equally awesome Brian Setzer Orchestra. (Note: may take a couple minutes to load)

Famous people make the news

Still can't post pictures on Blogger, so I'm reduced to this:

The Good:

Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe on the importance of careers that require one to actually get off ones ass and work for 8 hours a day with little or no fanfare from the so-called "intellectually elite":

I'm here today because of my grandfather. 

His name was Carl Knobel, and he made his living in Baltimore as a master electrician. He was also a plumber, a mechanic, a mason, and a carpenter. Everyone knew him as a jack-of-all-trades. I knew him as a magician.

For most of his life, my grandfather woke up clean and came home dirty. In between, he accomplished things that were nothing short of miraculous. Some days he might re-shingle a roof. Or rebuild a motor. Or maybe run electricity out to our barn. He helped build the church I went to as a kid, and the farmhouse my brothers and I grew up in. He could fix or build anything...

Thirty years later in San Francisco when my toilet blew up again. This time, I didn't participate in the repair process. I just called my landlord, left a check on the kitchen counter, and went to work. When I got home, the mess was cleaned up and the problem was solved. As for the actual plumber who did the work, I never even met him.

It occurred to me that I had become disconnected from a lot of things that used to fascinate me. I no longer thought about where my food came from, or how my electricity worked, or who fixed my pipes, or who made my clothes. There was no reason to. I had become less interested in how things got made, and more interested in how things got bought...

Right now, American manufacturing is struggling to fill 200,000 vacant positions. There are 450,000 openings in trades, transportation and utilities. The skills gap is real, and it's getting wider. In Alabama, a third of all skilled tradesmen are over 55. They're retiring fast, and no one is there to replace them...

In general, we're surprised that high unemployment can exist at the same time as a skilled labor shortage. We shouldn't be. We've pretty much guaranteed it.

In high schools, the vocational arts have all but vanished. We've elevated the importance of "higher education" to such a lofty perch that all other forms of knowledge are now labeled "alternative." Millions of parents and kids see apprenticeships and on-the-job-training opportunities as "vocational consolation prizes," best suited for those not cut out for a four-year degree. And still, we talk about millions of "shovel ready" jobs for a society that doesn't encourage people to pick up a shovel.

Unfortunately, on the subject of honest, humble, hard work he wasn't exactly preaching to the choir.  Read the whole thing here: Mike Rowe's Senate Testimony.

The Bad:

From Yahoo: Celebrity tweeters risk boring fans.  Seriously, they just now noticed this?  I can't tell you how many famous people I followed early on in the mistaken belief they'd be as interesting on their own as they are scripted or edited down to short, snappy soundbites.  WRONG!!! 

Tweets on singer Katy Perry's page include: "What does it mean when you see the number 33 all the time? For instance, I've seen it over 7 times today."

While actress Demi Moore, one of Twitter's most prolific celebrity users with over 3.5 million followers, wrote on Friday: "Kind of digging soft curls with a side part. A good change from straight with a middle part?"

One of my earliest Twitter reality checks was when I realized indie-cool actor Steve Buscemi wasn't and he became one of my first unfollows.  It pained me to do that, really it did.

The Ugly:

The New York Post owes everyone a big bucket of brain bleach for this headline.   Seriously, no one wants that mental image.  Now having said that, when all other fishwraps have gone the way of dinosaurs, I wouldn't be surprised if the Post is still around with its un-PC, in-you-face, "Hey, we were all thinking it!" headlines.

And the just plain ridiculous:

Jennifer Aniston bought an NYC penthouse in her dog's name.  In fact, not just in the dog's name, but in the dog's trust's name.  Yes, her dog has a trust.  I hope thanks to the tax breaks that this stupid thing is no doubt meant to create means that Jen can avoid going broke and having to live out of her car, and ensuring that she can keep making bad movies that tank at the box office.  Seriously, who are these people who keep casting her?  She hasn't had a hit since Friends.

Blogging fail

Have a few things to update, but Blogger was down for an extended period yesterday and today it's not uploading photos.  At some point when Blogger gets its crap together there will be catchup posts.

Update: The problem with uploading pictures has not been resolved, so I guess I can't post the fabulous pictures of the Hello Kitty wine (yes, you read that right) I snapped at the KTA in Keauhou today.  Although based on this hot mess, not being able to upload pics is the least of Blogger's problems right now.  I'm not sure exactly what happened during yesterday's "maintenance", but today some Blogger accounts have gone missing completely and who knows if they'll get them back or not.  What really sucks is that I logged back on to Typepad today in case I need to switch TLAT back there and realized that once I got the Blogger version of this baby launched, I deleted the Typepad version of it.  This means that if Blogger doesn't get its shit together soon, I get to manually copy the entire blog post by post to another host for the second time in a month.  Joy.

Snarky awesomeness, celebrity style

Today's interwebz were an embarrassment of riches for my sleb-snarking self.  Consider the following developments.  I know I did.

CSI star Marg Helgenberger says two-time guest star Justin Bieber was an immature douchebag brat on set.  Stop hatin' on the younger chicks, Marg!  I kid.  Call the unprofessional ones like you see 'em, Emmy award-winning actress!  And CSI producers, seriously, stop stunt casting and start hiring professional actors.  Or just call it a day, if you're that desperate for attention.  Look, you've had your decade in the sun and your place in TV history is secure.  Bieber casting once just might be the television gods telling you it's over.  Twice the Bieber?  That's worse than the Grissom - Sara shark jump.  Hey, I'm not trying to be mean - just because I haven't watched in years doesn't mean I don't care.  If ever a show deserved to go out in shark-free style, it was CSI.  But Biebering isn't the way to go out in style.  On the other hand, this particular sad stunt casting gave the world this awesome death scene:

Nice shooting, Nicky.

Lakers crash and burn (don't care) and a sportswriterly type goes out on a massive limb and suggests that one of their players, along with his Z minus minus minus-list "celebrity" spousal unit and their lameass TV show might have had a less than positive affect on his play and his team.  No, really???  Because no one in L.A. saw that one coming. </sarcasm>  Although from that article, it does seem like soap-operaness abounds on the Lakers.  My guess is that there will be more Lakers related shitty TV before there's another title.  Don't care.  Better them than the Kings.

And finally, because I'm weird this way, I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to TP Sheryl Crow's house.  Why?  Because the genius who can afford a personal chef but thinks the little people should limit themselves to one sheet of the aforementioned TP per visit to the loo has "co-written" a...Wait. For. It...cookbook!  There's a secret ingredient joke in there somewhere.  Notice her hands are hidden on the book cover?  Also, "those pesky occasions" is my new fake band name.  In a perfect world, where I actually have some musical aptitude, Those Pesky Occasions would totally exist and totally rock the charts!  Please to be getting yourselves over to iTunes to BUY BUY BUY SO WE CAN HIRE PERSONAL CHEFS download our first hit, Don't Bogart That Toilet Paper.

Not bad for a Monday!