Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the world's smallest goalie!!!

Staples Center frequently hosts short but entertaining battles with kids hockey teams between periods at Kings games.  The Brother and I always find them adorable and love how much fun the kiddies have skating on the same ice as their NHL idols.  We've seen some ridiculously cute little hockey players, but at last night's first intermission featured the littlest goalie we've ever seen.  And we've seen some little guys (and girls) out there, but then this happened:

The chick in the shot and her beret aren't giants, they just look that way because TEENY TINY GOALIE!!!

 The best thing about this kid was that he meant business out there.  Just look at that concentration.

 He made a pretty big save too, although I didn't get a picture of that.

Seriously, microscopic goalie makes that chick look like a giant, but she really wasn't.  Also, she had a really awesome Stanley Cup Champions letterman's jacket that I totally coveted, but I digress...

 Action shot!!!

His work here is done.  Your move, Jonathan Quick.

Seriously, they make goalie gear that small?

We just loved this little guy to death.  Hopefully, some day in the future he'll be between the pipes for the Kings, although by that time I'll probably be too old and senile to know what's going on when he's making huge saves.

More beachy words of inspiration!

Based on personal experience, if you have a shell in your pocket you'll also have sand in your pocket :)

H/T to Beach Cottage Life on Facebook.

Food for sleepless thought

I have terrible insomnia.  I'm not really sure why.  Often there are nights like the night before last, when I just couldn't shut it down until about 3:30 am even though I really, really wanted to go to sleep.  It's like my brain won't take a break.  From a creative standpoint that sounds awesome, but the reality is that it sucks and I'm bloodshot-eyed and ineffective and yawning constantly the next day.  I've never bought into the tortured artist thing anyway.

And then when I do actually sleep, there's last night and what that "sleep" brought.

I start culinary school on Monday and although I'm terribly excited about it, I've also started to kind freak out about it a bit this week.  Not in a debilitating meltdown way, but in more of an I can't believe I'm actually getting to do this thing that may change my life that I've been wanting to do for a while and now it's actually here kind of way.

So last night, as I slept fitfully (a phrase writers never tire of) my ever helpful insomniac brain came up with this nightmare scenario: I arrive for my first day of culinary school not only without my chef's jacket (a rather important piece of the uniform we were given at the orientation a few weeks ago), but I've also forgotten the notebook they gave us at orientation, where in addition to the vast importance of our uniforms, we were also impressed with the need to take notes and document like crazy.

And just for good measure, for some reason I also show up for class barefoot.  No idea how that got in there, as the required rubber-soled shoes part of the uniform was never a problem (thank you my latest pair of Nikes).

I woke up traumatized and tired.  Thanks brain, you heartless bastard you.

Years ago, my Dad informed me that I'd inherited my lousy sleep patterns from him.  He gave me an over-the-counter pill to help me sleep, supposedly so effective that I could cut the thing in half where it was scored down the middle and still achieve the desired sleepy results.  I tried it once and while it worked, I was so disturbed at how difficult it was for me to get up and go after that drugged, sleep-filled night that I never tried any sort of sleeping pill again.  There was just something creepy about the effect and how little control I had over it.

But then there's the insomnia thing, which I also can't control.  But at least I can own it, I guess.  So silver lining, sort of.

Sort of.

One of the things on my to-do list this weekend is ironing my chef's jacket, releasing it from its folded up, creased, plastic wrap enfolded newness, so that on Monday morning I'll look as professionally presentable as possible.  The importance of a clean, professional appearance was impressed upon us newbies at the orientation.

With that in mind, I just can't wait to see what horrific, fabric burning, apartment scorching scenario my brain will come up with over the next couple of nights.  Hope not.  Maybe sometimes ironing can just be ironing.

But insomnia and my overactive imagination...

Life lessons from Albert Einstein

Some more words of inspiration for the new year:

Well, the man was a genius.

It's a new year - resolve to make waves!

Insomniac

Creatures of the night.

I guess this is going to be an annual post: Merry Christmas to everyone!

TO ALL MY LIBERAL FRIENDS:

 Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2013, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.



TO ALL MY CONSERVATIVE FRIENDS:
 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Greeting and image snicked from the internets, but the sentiments come straight from my heart :)

Why you need to check out this $40,000 TV on Amazon

That's right, a $40k television.  But the best part of it is the comments.  Be sure to scroll down and check them out.  Some of the gems:

My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery.

And as far as this being a $40,000 "dumb" TV, people need to re-read my initial post: WE BOUGHT IT REFURBISHED. It was only $30,000.

I was going to fund my daughters wedding in Hawaii, but I figured this Samsung TV would last much longer.  

I am coming back from the future to write this review, and to let everyone know you can buy this TV for $699 in 2015. It still looks great though. 

I dont actually have cable access so this is currently being used as a dry erase board, but is an attractive addition to my command center. Thats what I call my bedroom. 

Mr. Carson loves the addition to the library. The family could not be more pleased. Bates will never walk again as it fell when the footmen were bringing it in, but for 10k off, we consider it a noble sacrifice.

The sacrificial offering of my first born child was not enough of an offering for Samsung. They would only accept and arm and a leg for this TV; which I gladly did. I have to admit that it's been difficult typing with only one hand and I have to hop to get to the TV room. 

I was watching the Kardashian's on it, and as soon as Kim was on the screen .... BOOOOM ... I got herpes. It's THAT lifelike.

 I have to wonder how many of these babies they actual sell. 

The one day of the year I wish I owned a boat: The Marina del Rey Christmas Boat Parade

Last night was the annual parade through the marina and channel, and for the second straight year I wound up next to a loud, drunk, obnoxious neighbor.  No wonder such a good spot was open.  You can hear his (and his kid's) running commentary during these clips (all jerky camera work is mine - this was all shot on my Droid):

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Boat

Grand Marshals Phil Jackson and Jeannie Buss

I've learned that there are certain things you need to do to be effective in this parade: Lots of lights/decorations, music, a PA so you can wish everyone watching a Merry Christmas, and a Santa on board.  But it seemed like everyone - both on the water and on shore - was having a great time reveling in the Christmas spirit.  Good times all around.

Oh Christmas Tree: Kings vs. Blues

The Brother and I hit Staples Center last night for the fifth game of our ten-pack.  We were treated to another exciting game as the Kings held on to beat the St. Louis Blues, giving us a record of 4-1 so far this season in games attended.  The past couple of years our beloved boys in black have lost most of the games we've attended, so it's nice not to feel like we're bad luck.  The Kings took a 3-0 lead into the third with two goals from rookie Tyler Toffoli and one from Jarret Stoll.  The Blues scored in the third period, then got another one past Ben Scrivens with about fifteen seconds left after pulling their goalie, however they were unable to tie it up and L.A. took the two points in a game that was nowhere near as close as the score.  We were kind of surprised Sutter didn't put Toffoli out when the Blues net was empty to try and get him a hat trick, but the important thing is that we won, and Toffoli got top star of the game.

Interesting factoid: Hockey players like to give each other nicknames, which are usually just a pretty unimaginative play on their actual names (Brownie, Kopi, Quickie, Cliffy, Cartsy, Kinger, Marty, Mitchie, etc) but Toffoli's teammates in Manchester (the Kings minor league team) bestowed a rather unique one on him: Top Titty.  Heh.  Boys will be boys.

On the opposite end of the fun spectrum there were the three guys sitting behind us who talked nearly non-stop throughout the entire game.  It was kind of weird because they did seem to be into the game, but they would not shut up.  I was tempted to turn around and tell them they were missing a good game.  It seemed more civil than SHUT THE FUCK UP.  I could feel a headache coming on in the third period, but the Kings win tempered that.  Some samples of the obnoxiousness:

• Lots of talk about their work (apparently they all work together) including a discussion about an apparent former co-worker who used to be fat but is now thin and might be coming back to the company.
• One of the guys listing off the countries of origin of most of the Kings roster (including states for a lot of the American players).
• During a break in play, the music played apparently reminded them of an AC/DC song, leading to a discussion of what years various AC/DC albums were released and with which lead singer, along with the observation that, "Those guys are in their sixties now."
• Chatting about going to see an upcoming movie.
• And best of all this comment late in the game: "What happened to the Quick guy?"  That does it.  Turn in your fan cards.

It would have been one thing if the game had been boring, but it was a great game.  Imagine how annoying those guys must be in the office.

In other news, L.A. Live lit up their Christmas tree last night and it is beautiful (and huge):

Very sparkly.  I'd like to have the money spent just on electricity for L.A. Live for just one night.  Season tickets for life.

Our seats this season are right next to the tunnel, however the Droid has proven to be less than adept at catching shots of players striding out onto the ice.  This is pretty much the only one that wasn't a total loss:

Mitchie, Cliffy, Slava.

One of these days I need to dig out my camera and see if I can get some decent shots of the players with that.  In the past I've tried getting shots of them skating and they just move so fast most of the time they're a blur, so I'm not sure if tunnel shots will be any better.  Usually I can get some pretty decent shots with the phone (the picture that I have as my header, for example) but it's just not up to action shots.

All in all, a fun and exciting night at the Stape!

I'm working on it!

H/T to Sun Gazing on FB.

Staples Center, we are in you!

The Brother and I decided to go the 10-pack route again this season.  We did it last year, although thanks to the lockout it became a 5-pack.  Gary Bettman is the devil.

We've hit four games so far:

• 3-2 loss to the lowly Calgary Flames, made especially painful due to the fact that they started their backup goalie.  Full recap here.
• 7-4 win over the loathsome Phoenix Coyotes, which wasn't as much fun as the score makes it look.  The Kings had a 4-0 lead after the first period, but by two minutes into the third period Phoenix had tied it up at 4-4.  Luckily, Mike Richards scored a shortie to retake the lead, then the team added two more to seal the deal.  Full recap here.
• 2-0 win over the Buffalo Sabres, notable as it was Linden Vey's NHL debut and Jonathan Quick's 300th career game.  Quick celebrated the milestone with a shutout.  Also noteworthy was the presence of eleven former Manchester Monarchs, the Kings AHL affiliate, in the lineup (the official tally was ten, but they missed Kyle Clifford).  Full recap here.
• 5-2 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning, who are very much missing injured scoring machine Steve Stamkos.  Full recap here.

Quick suffered a groin injury during OT in the game at Buffalo on November 12, which was the first game of a four game road trip.  The game went to a shootout and backup goalie Ben Scrivens looked absolutely awful (Quick owns shootouts).  The result was a 3-2 loss.  I just knew we were going to lose in the shootout the minute Quick finally gave in to the injury and skated away from the net.  Luckily, Scrivens bounced back, winning the final three games of the road trip, including two shutouts.  The team played extremely well in front of him in the Tampa game.  The Brother and I were close to the goal and Scrivens had a clear, wide-open view of pretty much every shot.  I don't think he actually had to make a difficult save until the third period.  Hopefully he and the team can keep up the good work to minimize the loss of Quick, who won't be back until around Christmas. 

Here are some mostly fuzzy game pics courtesy of my Droid:

Having trouble getting used to the new slogan.  It reminds me of that creepy "We All Have AIDS" celebrity promo from a few years back.  No, we don't.

This idiot was sitting right in front of us at the Calgary game.  Idiot.

A fuzzy look at our Stanley Cup banner.

Our seats this year are right next to the tunnel.  I thought this would enable me to get some wicked shots of the guys headed to the ice.  I was wrong.

I spy a blurry Brown and a blurry Greene.

Blurry Kings Dwight King, Muzzin, Carcillo and Clifford heading out to fight Flames.

The always awesome Bailey decided to make himself at home in our section during the Phoenix game:

Bailey at his typical cheerleading best:

Sitting this close to goal means never having to miss out on fangirling Quick.

"Thank you, oh Hockey Gods, for the immense gifts you have bestowed up me.  I am in fact so very, very worthy."

KINGS WIN!!!  YES THEY DO!!!

Bailey about to greet the three stars of the game: Kopi, King and Doughty.

Pao Gasol of the L.A. Lakers made an appearance the other night and was very gracious about taking pictures with fans.  The crowd roared when they showed him on the jumbo tron.

"Hello,  I am very tall and thin."

Then there was this guy:

This idiot was sitting right in front of us at the Tampa Bay game.  Idiot.