It's funny cuz it's true - first draft edition

So very true:

H/T to Screencraft on FB.

Success!!! (of the non-writing kind)

Today I had the first major procedure on my teeth since I was fifteen years old when I had a quartet of teeth pulled (two molars and two wisdom teeth). Outside of braces and a few cavities, my mouth had been relatively drama free since then despite the fact that I haven't always been on top of regular cleanings.

Last month I learned I had receding gums and was told that if it wasn't addressed eventually my teeth would start falling out. Luckily, they have a fix for that. They basically cut the gum and pull it away from the teeth, and insert donor tissue (you can also use tissue taken from the roof of your mouth, but then you have an additional site that has to heal), then stitch the gum back up over the new tissue. Not only does this cover the area exposed by the receding gums, but it also prompts the surrounding tissue to regenerate, creating even more of a buffer. And since other than the gums my teeth appear to be in great shape, this should prevent potential tooth loss going forward.

One of the things that really got my attention during the diagnosis is that I assumed it was due to age, but both the dentist who caught the condition and the periodontist who performed the procedure told me that it was more hereditary than anything. My Mom had serious dental issues for at least the last twenty years of her life. Part of the problem is that her previous dentist apparently wasn't really on the ball and by the time she got a good one a lot of the damage was done. She lost countless teeth, had multiple root canals, had to have partials, and was limited to what kinds of food she could eat. And even with all the treatment, she had constant complications as her teeth continued to crumble. Keep in mind that the dentist and periodontist who treated me never met or treated her, so they had no way of knowing how bad her situation had been. My Dad also experienced significant tooth loss the last five or so years of his life, so this stuff definitely runs in the family.

I'm looking at a total of about four weeks to complete recovery, and today was only the top and bottom of the right side. I figure I'll have them do the left side (which isn't nearly as bad) after the first of the year. Luckily the front teeth don't have a problem but I'm guessing if I didn't address the situation, those would have been affected eventually as well.

I've been home for about an hour and while the numbness is still pretty bad, I can tell it's starting to wear off. I'm stocked up on soups, soft food and stuff to make smoothies, so I'm all set for the weekend!

Don't neglect your teeth, people! Given my spotty dental care record, I feel like I may have just dodged a bullet.

By the way, if you're in the Arcadia area and need a periodontist, hit me up for a recommendation. The doctor and his staff were just wonderful and what could have been an extremely stressful experience for me ended up going about as well as I could have hoped for.

8/10/19 update: Okay, so the swelling has started (one side of my face is much fatter than the other, and that's saying something) plus once the numbness wore off I could poke my tongue over there to see what it felt like. It felt sore and pulpy and gross. Guess this is going to be a little rougher than I anticipated, but still not as bad as when I had four teeth pulled at once. Also, I did a bit of a rewrite on the original post, which showed signs of the sedation drugs not quite having worn off when I wrote it :)

Recent reading: "Hollywood Homicide"

Hollywood Homicide by Kellye Garrett

Garrett's debut novel scored a slew of Best First Novel awards, including the Anthony and Agatha, and I can see why.

Dayna Anderson is a failed actress who has accepted her fate and gracefully retired from the biz, after her one big break as the tagline spouting face in a series of commercials for a chicken restaurant chain ended and didn't result her career taking off. To her credit she's not bitter, despite now being broke from lack of work and partially dependent on a couple of financially better off friends. Unfortunately her parents are also not doing well, resulting in foreclosure threats. Dayna had given them the last of her savings, but when the calls continue, she stumbles on a decidedly unconventional way to score some bucks.

She's pouring her last few dollars into her gas tank when she spots a billboard offering a $15,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of a hit and run driver who had killed a young woman nearby. Dayna realizes that the night of the accident, she and several friends had driven by the scene and may have also caught a picture of the offending vehicle as it sped away, nearly t-boning their car. She decides she'll try to solve the crime and collect the reward money. Yep, that's her plan.

And off she goes, way in over her head, on an adventure that is both hilarious and dangerous as she accuses pretty much anyone with any connection to the victim of being the killer at one time or another, while juggling calls to the tip line every step of the way so that she can be sure to score the much-needed reward money. She has help in the form of her fashion and fame obsessed roommate, a friend who is a former child star turned obsessed computer wiz, a weird former cop doing his own investigation into the death, and an elusive love interest who has just scored a starring role on a CBS cop drama called LAPD 90036. (In case you're wondering, that zip code belongs to the area that includes The Grove, Park La Brea, and the stretch of Wilshire Boulevard between Fairfax and Highland).

Garrett uses her knowledge of the industry (she has an episode of Cold Case to her credit) to skewer it and its denizens, and she does it extremely well, but without cynicism or malice. Sparkling with a great sense of humor, Hollywood Homicide is a breezy and entertaining read. It's also the first of a series featuring Dayna; the second, Hollywood Ending, is being released this week and I'm looking forward to it. I won't be surprised if it turns out to be as much of an awards magnet as its predecessor.

And work me they did. I didn't have a spare moment all day except for lunch. When I called the tip line, I got voicemail. My theory was too good (and too long-winded) to leave after the beep, so I waited until I got off work at four, calling the Voice as soon as I got to the lobby. It took me all the way to Robertson to get my story out. "Did you at least write it down?" I asked the Voice.

"It's in your file, 1018. Right next to my notes about Montgomery Rose, BMW owner. Right next to you swearing up and down the killer was the boyfriend of a quote PrimaDonna6969. Right next to you letting us know a Marina Choi did her friend in. Your file is fatter than a contestant on Biggest Loser at the first weigh-in."

The LOL Line

Last night I started watching a documentary called The Creepy Line, about how Facebook and Google collect information from their users and then use it for - and sometimes against - these same users. I haven't finished it yet, but what I have seen so far is mind-blowing. We're living in manipulative algorithm hell. You should see this movie.

Still, I thought it was kind of funny when this popped up on my FB today. One is an account I follow because I'm a fan of Better Call Saul, AMC's fantastic Breaking Bad prequel. The ad that followed it was "sponsored".

If you never watched Breaking Bad, the joke is that Walter White's first meth lab was a piece of shit RV, and White eventually became a client of sleazy lawyer Saul Goodman and ruined his life.

And LOL at Facebook. The algorithm gods giveth, and the algorithm gods taketh away. Debating whether or not to inform RV Road Trippers how they ended up on my feed. I also wonder what kind of money an account pays to get an ad sponsored. Because as much as I love watching Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, I will never be in the market for an RV.

But just because their algorithm is shitty, I still don't want FB following me all about the web. Bastards.

July Words of Wisdom

Watch out for people who are always bragging about who they are. A lion will never have to tell you it's a lion. --Unknown

I do not seek. I find. --Pablo Picasso

I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or to do anything. I just want to write. --P. G. Wodehouse

Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made. --Tyler Kent White

It seems to me, that it's much more important to be happy than ordinary.
--Atticus

Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life. --Rachel Carson

You're beautiful because you know your own darkness and still, that alone doesn't stop you from finding your own life. --Robert M. Drake

Pearls don't lie on the seashore. If you want one, you must dive for it.
--Chinese Proverb

Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. --George Orwell

I think it's fairly common for writers to be afflicted with two simultaneous yet contradictory delusions - the burning certainty that we're unique geniuses and the constant fear that we're witless frauds, who are speeding toward epic failure. --Scott Lynch

This is the real secret of life - to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.
--Alan Watt

Even paradise sees its share of storms, but in the end, it's still paradise.
--Trevor Driggers

The moon does not depend on anyone. She rises through the darkness, beautiful and alone. --Paige Gilmar

An author is a man who cannot keep his delusions to himself. --Aksel Sandemose

My wish is to stay always like this, living quietly in a corner of nature. --Claude Monet

Nooo!!! Roy Batty was supposed to have a few months left!

RIP actor Rutger Hauer. Perhaps most famous for playing the ambitious replicant Roy Batty in the film Blade Runner, Hauer has died at the age of 75.

Roy's inception date was January 8, 2016, and yes, I was one of the people who geeked out over it. 

Because the Tyrell Corporation's replicants only had a four year life span, by November 2019 when he crossed paths with Harrison Ford's Rick Deckard, Roy was desperate to have his creator extend his life as well as those of his friends. He only had until January 2020 and was running out of time. And apparently there were some conspiracy theories about him not quite making it to January:

You can read the whole thread here: Why does Roy Batty die in 2019? Also, these two images were snicked from the link.

I'm still so disorganized from my move last year, but I'll try to find my Blade Runner DVD this weekend and take another look at Hauer's amazing and immortal performance, which will not be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Flights of angels, sir.

Recent reading: "Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly"

Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain (audiobook read by Anthony Bourdain)

Gotta admit, I never watched Bourdain's TV shows so I never realized what an incredible storyteller he was. I figured that at out about one paragraph in. I'm also glad that I got the audiobook - this story really has to be heard in his voice.

Bourdain isn't kidding about the "culinary underbelly" thing. As opposed to the polite behavior you see on TV cooking shows, Bourdain's description of a day in the life of a working restaurant cooking isn't for the faint of heart. It's a tough life that you have to be totally committed to, and Bourdain was wholly committed. He also had a number of sad tales of restaurant owners who got into the business for all the wrong reasons. Warning: just because you're a good cook and entertaining host, don't listen to your friends when they tell you that you should open a restaurant. Just don't.

One thing that was tough about listening to Bourdain read this book, which was released in 2000, was knowing that years later he would take his own life. When you realize what an amazing life he led, it's even harder to fathom why he would give up on it. There were two stories in particular that were sadly ironic. In one, he described being in a taxi with three of his druggie cohorts and blurting out that only one in four addicts who go to rehab will actually kick drugs, and he made it clear that out of the passengers in the cab that night, he was going to be that one. The second was even more ironic, when he had to talk down an employee who had to fire a guy in the kitchen who wasn't hacking it, then was consumed with guilt when the fired guy went home and committed suicide. It's understandable that the only person responsible for the death is the person who committed it, but it's also understandable that the guy who fired him felt terrible about it. Bourdain - at the time, anyway - had no patience with this. Again, hindsight is 20/20. It would have been a sad story even if Bourdain was still with us. It was even sadder knowing why he isn't.

Even though a lot of the foreign cooking terms that roll off Bourdain's tongue might be unintelligible to most readers/listeners, I still highly recommend the book. Bourdain led a wild life and a fascinating one. There's a reason this book made him a star.

Pretty much every paragraph in the book is quotable, so I'm just going to have to pull one at random:

I saw a lot of bad behavior that first year in P-Town. I was impressed. These guys were master criminals, sexual athletes compared to my pitiful college hijinks. Highwaymen rogues, buccaneers, cutthroats, they were like young princes to me, still only a lowly dishwasher myself. The life of a cook was a life of adventure, looting, pillaging, and rock and rolling through life with a carefree disregard for all conventional morality. It looked pretty damn good to me on the other side of the line.

Truthiness in advertising - Taco time!!!

If you've seen the Burger King commercials touting their new $1 tacos, you've probably had the same thought as me: "As much as I don't want to embrace tacos from a fast-food burger joint, those actually look pretty damn good. Really good. And only a buck. I might have to try those."

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Delish checked them out and like so many things, what you see isn't what you get: We Tried Burger King's New $1 Taco - Here's What We Thought.

Just to give you an idea of what they thought, the subtitle of the article's title is Basically they're catfishing us.

Remember those beautiful tacos from the ads?

Pic from Burger King's Facebook page.

What's not to love, right? Here, take my money! I'll take twenty!

Not so fast - here's what they really look like.

Pic from Delish's BK order.

Anyone else think these things look like the deep-fried Jack-in-the-Box taco's less attractive sibling?

I wouldn't be surprised if Burger King execs and admen are sticking pins in Delish voodoo dolls right now. Their ads all but guaranteed a big jump in business, but the Delish article - especially the pictures - just brought that to a screeching halt. I know I'm no longer tempted. In fact, the article includes a poll and 88% (myself included) have voted for "Not going to try them". Somewhere, McDonald's is laughing their ass off and Taco Bell is heaving a huge sigh of relief.

Just in case those pictures don't scare you off, per the article one customer complained that the tacos "Look like dog food in a crusty tortilla shell". Yep, that's an appetite killer right there.

Luckily, Delish has also provided a palate cleanser: Taco Bell Turned This Gorgeous Beachfront Location Into a Boozy Cantina.

Since the 1980's, one of the most beautiful Taco Bell stores has been open in Pacifica, CA. Located steps from the Linda Mar beach, it's a pretty iconic spot to eat a Chalupa. And now there's even more reason to visit: This summer, T. Bell turned the restaurant into a cantina, meaning it officially serves local wine, beer, and Twisted Freezes, which are spiked versions of frozen Taco Bell drinks like the Baja Blast.

According to the article this is far from the first Taco Bell Cantina, but it's the first I've ever heard of it. Plus, it's just so dang pretty and right on the beach!

Note the surfboard parking in front.

All pics snicked from the Delish articles.

Recent Reading: "A Private Disgrace: Lizzie Borden by Daylight"

A Private Disgrace: Lizzie Borden by Daylight by Victoria Lincoln

This is more than just another look at the notorious Lizzie Borden ax murders. Lincoln not only grew up in Fall River, Massachusetts, Borden's hometown before and after the murders of her father and stepmother, but in the same neighborhood where Lizzie bought the home that she would live in for the rest of her life. Lincoln's parents and grandparents traveled in the same society and professional circles as the Bordens, and as a child she'd had some minor interactions with an older Lizzie.

Lincoln incorporates the societal mores and quirks of Fall River into this telling of the Borden family dynamics, the murders, Lizzie's trial, and how the town viewed the accused before, during and after her trial. She also has some keen insight on Lizzie's personality and character, and how that was shaped by Fall River society. Being a local, she was also able to uncover some previously unshared records that helped expand the story.

One thing I found jarring was how Lincoln for some reason felt compelled to repeatedly insult Abby Borden, Lizzie's stepmother. Simply pointing out that she was obese once would have been sufficient, but multiple times this victim is almost vindictively described as "fat", and in other passages as "dismally uninteresting" and "a lonely, self-pitying glutton". I'm not sure what Lincoln was going for by insulting this poor woman time and time again, but it was distracting.

A Private Disgrace was published in 1967 and won the Edgar Award from the Mystery Writers of America for best non-fiction crime book. Apparently Lincoln had wanted to write about Lizzie Borden for some time but was discouraged due to the sheer volume of books available on the subject. Fortunately, she didn't listen to the naysayers.

When I was small, I was shy with other children but quick to make friends with grownups; yet I never got far with Lizzie. Occasionally I tried to talk to her while she was out filling her bird-feeding station and feeding the squirrels, but she never quite seemed to see or hear me. It damped conversation.

In school, I began to make friends of my own age, and observed with interest that one was supposed to shudder and giggle when Miss Borden's name was mentioned. I asked Mother why.

"Well, dear, she was very unkind to her father and mother."

A dream is a wish your heart makes...

I moved away from this beautiful place exactly one year ago today. Because I am an idiot. And I miss it so. I'd give anything to be back there in June 2012 when I first moved in. Anything. So, like the rest of my life, I could do everything differently. I would so still be there.

In the past few weeks it's starting to feel like it was all a dream. Did I really finally make it to that beautiful place that I'd been coveting for so many years? It almost seems unreal now, that I had all that - a beautiful apartment in such a gorgeous location - and I walked away from it. How could that happen? What the fuck is wrong with me? How could I be so ungrateful for what I'd finally attained?

I love and miss you like crazy Marina del Rey. And I will be back. Oh yes I will.

Fun with signage

You can spare three minutes for these hilarious signs.

H/T to Boomer Nation on FB.

Hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend!

Happy Birthday, America!!!

Land that I love!

All pics snicked from the internet over the years. Let me know if one is yours so I can give credit where credit is due for your beautiful images!