Los Angeles Magazine headlines suggest we're having a big fat fun staycation

Actual headline on page 19: Blow It Up! Blast the AC and enjoy life indoors with spicy hot sauces, awesome new TV shows, and virtual Pride celebrations. Plus chic summer fashions (and masks) for venturing out.

Seriously Los Angeles Magazine??? Apparently I completely missed that the past couple of months have been one big carefree party that our political overlords seem determined to continue indefinitely. My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

I guess I shouldn't be shocked. This is the same magazine whose cover currently sports these headlines: INSIDE THE BUNKER WITH ERIC GARCETTI The Mayor's Epic Battle To Save Us From The Plague and KINGS AND QUEENS OF THE QUARANTINE. The list of virtual pride festivities on page 38 bears the title PARTY STILL ON! 

Gotta say, I haven't seen quarantine coverage this tone-deaf since Nancy Pelosi Antoinette posed in front of her $10k+ fridge, showing off cartons of ice cream whose price tags would have Whole Foods agape.

A quick glance through this rag would suggest we've spent the past two months partying like it's 1999, rather than suffering through an unprecedented societal and economic disaster that may or may not have been completely necessary depending on which doctors you listen to, and may or may not be at least partly politically driven at the expense of hard-working, law-abiding people who deserve better.

I've seen a couple of stories online just in the past few days about people committing suicide due to their livelihoods being destroyed by the lockdown and I expect to see more. A few days ago I watched a video of a man in tears because he's losing his life's work, a humble music store, also due to the lockdown. The tone of those stories are nothing like Los Angeles Magazine's giddy hipster headlines.

You know who isn't going to go broke or lose their livelihoods? You know who won't be sobbing on camera because their businesses have been destroyed, who won't be offing themselves because life has become unbearable through no fault of their own? People like Nancy Pelosi, Eric Garcetti and their ilk. They are going to be among the few who emerge from this situation feeling like kings and queens of the quarantine, while most of the constituents they don't give a shit about will find themselves newly cast as paupers, many in spite of a lifetime of hard work.

The magazine's rah-rah approach to what's happened to us since mid-March is jarring. I'll be interested to see if in future issues it profiles Angelenos whose businesses and lives were destroyed by the mayor's epic battle with the flu (fixed it for ya, Los Angeles Magazine) and the open-ended shutdown Garcetti and California Governor Gavin Newsom take such delight in threatening us peons with. Given that the magazine reads like a mouthpiece for those guys, I doubt it. The few paragraphs given to Californians rallying for the lockdown to be lifted before the state's economy is totally annihilated is tellingly titled JOINING FORCES FOR NO GOOD. Yep, tone-deaf.

On the other hand maybe I should take into consideration that Los Angeles Magazine isn't aimed at the average Angeleno like me, but at the city's elite, people who can weather prolonged loss of earnings, or like our politicians, haven't missed a paycheck. It's not geared to the Los Angeles I'm a part of. I wish this issue had come out last month, because I just sent in the renewal a few weeks ago and I wouldn't have if I'd seen this issue before I wrote that check. Turns out that probably wasn't a great use of my money. Oh well, guess I'm just gonna have to pass on that fashionable Johnny Was face mask touted on page 32.

One of those nights

I miss my home. I really loved that apartment. It was my home. I was so comfortable there. It was mine.

And Sophie misses her fireplace, and so do I.

So homesick.

Nine years

It's mind-boggling, actually kind of terrifying to think it's almost a decade. Miss you Dad.

It's Mother's Day

Third one without her. Still not used to it, but at least she doesn't have to deal with this Corona virus crap.

Due to social distancing and because I don't want to get hassled or arrested for acting like a normal person, I'm putting the off trip to the gravesite until some sort of normalcy returns.

Recent reading: "Crossing Borders"

Crossing Borders (edited by Lisa Brackmann and Matt Coyle)

A bit of setup: I was at a point where I was partway through four - FOUR - separate books. I also haven't been reading much lately. Not sure why, except that I've been indulging in my two favorite time wasters -  crossword puzzles and playing Scrabble versus the computer on Kindle. So I decided my goal for the next week (or however long it takes) would be to finish those four books.

First up is Crossing Borders, which as you know if you've read the blog includes my short story, "Like Deja vu All Over Again". The anthology was commissioned by the San Diego Chapter of Sisters in Crime to celebrate Left Coast Crime being held in their town this year. Unfortunately LCC happened in the middle of March, just as COVID-19 was rearing its ugly head, and ended up being shut down after the first day (one of the casualties was our launch party for the anthology). We were also scheduled to do an in-store event at Mysterious Galaxy in San Diego in April which was also cancelled.

The blurb from the back of the book:

Good stories start with characters crossing borders and finding themselves in worlds filled with hurt, harm, and danger. In Crossing Borders, the first anthology from Partners in Crime, the San Diego Chapter of Sisters in Crime, fifteen stories capture moments before, during and after characters cross borders and find themselves stumbling around strange lands that abound with saints, sinners, and monsters. 

It's always interesting to see how different writers address the assigned theme and the wide variety of the stories that result. There are some good ones here, but my favorites (excluding my own, of course) were "Sandman" by B.J. Graf and "The Crossing" by Kim Keeline. When you start your story with "Malibu, 2041" you've got my attention, plus I'm a sucker for a Hollywood-related story. Graf did a great job of integrating potential technology of the future in "Sandman" without it taking over the story, although it did factor in the outcome. "The Crossing" has its main character attempting to cross the U.S./Mexico border with an unexpected twist outcome to her journey. I did get a bit of a jolt reading it - both "The Crossing" and "Like Deja vu All Over Again" begin with their protagonists being carjacked while driving Toyota Corollas, but go off in very different directions with very different outcomes.

I'm going to be a jerk and quote from my own story:

Just a nightmare. A very vivid nightmare, one of those really realistic ones, but not real. Yet I was uncharacteristically rattled by it and my heart seemed uninterested in calming down. For a split second I'd been there in my car, wide awake, being driven away by a total stranger and no doubt headed for a very bad ending.

Note: This story was based on an actual nightmare I had about being carjacked back when I had my little Corolla and waking up dissatisfied about how I'd handled the situation in my dream.

Nicolas Cage wins the Joe Exotic sweepstakes

A number of actors have volunteered to play Joe Exotic ever since Netflix unleashed Tiger King on an unsuspecting world. Joe himself reportedly suggested either Brad Pitt (uh-huh) or David Spade, although Spade wasn't interested. My favorite suggestion was Edward Norton. But the winner has been announced and Nicolas Cage has seemingly come out of nowhere to win the big race.

From the Variety article:

The eight-episode series is being produced by Imagine Television Studios and CBS Television Studios. It will be taken to market in the coming days. It is based on the Texas Monthly article "Joe Exotic: A Dark Journey Into the World of a Man Gone Wild,' by Leif Reigstad. 

Can you say, "Bidding war"? If I ran a network I'd just give them a blank check. This will be one of the most anticipated miniseries ever.

The story centers around Joe Schreibvogel, a.k.a Joe Exotic, an eccentric, exotic zookeeper in Oklahoma who fights to keep his park even at the risk of losing his sanity. The series will live in the lion's den with Joe, explore how he became Joe Exotic, and how he lost himself to a character of his own creation.

I do wonder if they'll address some of the darker Joe Exotic stories that have swirled around but weren't included in the Netflix show. The Texas Monthly article is pretty much straightforward reporting of Joe's journey from young animal lover to federal felon. It doesn't paint him as the lovable, larger-than-life eccentric wronged by competitors and the legal system that we see in Tiger King, so I'm really hoping to see the story from a different angle. If you're still buying into the whole "Pardon Joe Exotic" thing, you should check out the aftershow episode hosted by Joel McHale, in which he interviews figures from the series. Almost every single one of them had unflattering things to say about Joe and believe that he belongs in prison and should stay there.

Cage is going to go nuts with this role. He'll be chowing down on scenery like Joe's big cats chowed down on expired Walmart meat. He should probably clear out some space next to his Oscar for the inevitable Emmy.

I haven't looked forward to a show this much since I can't remember.

May the Fourth Be With You!!!

Le Creuset has a Star Wars line!

The Darth Vader Dutch Oven:

The Han Solo Roaster:

Millennium Falcon Trivet:

Williams-Sonoma has the Le Creuset line and a bunch of other Star Wars stuff:

Cakelet pan. So tempting:

BB-8 Insta-Pot:

Millennium Falcon Waffle Maker:

Darth Spatula:

R2-D2 Popcorn Maker:

Have a great 4th! Beep-boop!

RIP Sam Lloyd of "Scrubs"

Actor Sam Lloyd, who played downtrodden hospital lawyer Ted Buckland on Scrubs, died yesterday at 56.

In early 2019, having just become a father, Lloyd was diagnosed with cancer that had spread to his brain, lungs, spine and jaw. It was a horrific diagnosis and when the Scrubs podcast began last month I wondered how he was doing and if he would be able to make an appearance on the podcast. I also wondered if it would be okay to inquire about his condition and well-being.

Those questions were answered when he died yesterday.

My heart goes out to his family and friends. I can't imagine what it must be like to receive a diagnosis that was so awful at his age, much less just after the birth of his child, who he will not see grow up and who is too young to retain any concrete memories of his father.

Scrubs was a great show. It brought (and continues to bring) me hours of enjoyment with its amazing writing, acting and storytelling. Lloyd was a part of the great ensemble that made Scrubs exceptional and it's heartbreaking to lose him, and that's coming from someone who only knew him as a viewer. I can't imagine how devastating this is for his family and friends. I know it will be tough for Zach and Donald to discuss this on the podcast, but as a fan I hope to hear a lot from them about Sam.

Marina skies